Walk of Shame
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12-04-2015, 03:01 AM
Walk of Shame
Ok. Soooo my night sucks.

I was trying to think of things that cheer me up. I'd like to hear about your greatest walk of shame. Don't be shy - I'll go first:

Back in the day, Nurse liked to shack up at the frat house after a wild night of partying. She was usually waaay too drunk to make it safely back to the dorms, and she couldn't take a boy back to her room anyway (ok, wasn't supposed to, did manage to pull that off a few times).

Well, one particular Saturday morning, upon waking after a band party, Nurse woke up and needed to pee. Her boyfriend's room was at the veeeery end of the hall, with the ladies' room at the front of the house. Nurse had an option - put on last night's party clothes (sequins, mini skirt, heels) or just throw on her boyfriend's shirt and boxers. She chose her boyfriend's clothes and neglected to put in her contacts - it was only 9 am after a huge party, and the football game wasn't until the afternoon, not like anyone else would be conscious, right?

So there she goes, tiptoeing down the hall, when in the distance she saw a blue of pastel blue and yellow. As the blur came more into focus, she realized it was a mom in the house. And could here voices of other mothers. WTF? Nurse tucked tail and ran back to her boyfriend's room - while the moms got to see the back of the shirt, which said "R U 18?"

Apparently it was Mother Son Day for the fraternity that day. So she put on her slut gear and put in her contacts, and marched back to the front of the house to pee. Later she had to drive her car back to her dorm paring lot and walk her sparkling slut gear down two blocks before making it home.


The end.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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12-04-2015, 05:09 AM (This post was last modified: 12-04-2015 05:13 AM by DLJ.)
RE: Walk of Shame
Oooh! A self-slut-shaming thread!

I approve.

Although... I think most guys won't have experienced this in the same way. We don't walk the walk of shame... we have a triumphus Dodgy but here goes nothing (except perhaps my reputation).

Scene: Northern hemisphere, October, house party ... a friend of a school-friend's 17th birthday (I vaguely recall).

6am (ish) and still awake having spent the night with (imho) the hottest girl at the party. We've run out of fore-play ideas and she tells me to go to the nearby shop to get condoms.

6:30am I return with condoms and a newspaper (I have no idea why I bought the newspaper) and realise that I'm locked out.

Dilemma: Try to stir the hung-overed dregs of party guests by relentlessly ringing the doorbell or wait out in the cold until I see signs of life through the curtains?

Libido wins!

An older guy opens the door in his pyjamas (an easy punchline there for someone). I don't remember seeing him the previous night,
"Yes?" he says, slightly edgily.
"I went to get a paper," says I, somewhat lamely, "I was here last night."

We sit and chat for a while. It turns out he works nights and has not long returned home, had gone to bed but was wakened by the doorbell. Blush

We talk about current / world affairs and start to like each other. We have similar views... he's a fellow Guardian reader. I suspect I would have pretended to have had similar views had he been a Telegraph reader cos, y'know... his house, his son or daughter who had hosted the party etc. and I had pissed him off by waking him up. I'm not completely stupid, just expediently hypocritical.

He even asks me if I got lucky last night (cos we're best buddies now). I stop short of telling him how close I was to getting my end away and the real reason I went to the shop.

2 hours later (it seemed like longer) he declares he's going to bed and as he rises and shakes my hand, thanking me for an enjoyable discussion, his daughter, the birthday girl emerges from upstairs and they have a father / daughter moment.

She looks radiant although a little disheveled. He pecks her on the cheek and goes to bed.

We (the daughter and I) makes some tea. Mid-pour, she stops, turns and kisses me on the cheek and thanks me for being such a gentleman.

Huh

She explains that she is grateful that:
a) I demonstrated to her father that she has sophisticated friends and
b) I didn't take advantage of her in bed last night!

Blush

Honestly m'lud, I had no idea that she was that drunk.

Sadcryface

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12-04-2015, 05:18 AM
RE: Walk of Shame
And now, children, you know why it's called The Guardian.

Badumm chak.

Quantum Physics: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
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12-04-2015, 05:41 AM
RE: Walk of Shame
(I had this on a previous thread - but it fits pretty well)


I was going through the US Coast Guard‘s Radioman School in the early 80‘s just outside of Petaluma California. One of my classmates was nicknamed Animal. A bikerish kind of guy who had a ratty old Ford pickup and a BSA motorcycle. The two of us hit it off right away, and spent a good share of our free time drinking, smoking anything we could find, and philandering with most anything we could hook up with.

One weekend - the weekend of the Fourth of July, Animal and I reserved a small camper trailer from the Coast Guard Base’s moral services. You could rent these little campers for about 5 bucks a day. We hooked it up to Animal’s truck and loaded up massive quantities of beer, liquor, a baggie or two Mendocino’s best and a couple of women who were also in Radioman School. The lady I took was a fairly nice looking girl named Jane, who I’d been tagging every once in a while when one of us could arrange for our roommates to vacate for a bit. It wasn’t easy, with 6 or 8 to a room. Animal dragged along Ray. I almost said “Animal dragged along a lady named Ray”, but to do so would be misleading. Sure Ray was female, but hardly a lady. She had openly proclaimed she was going to “do every guy in the school” on more than one drunken occasion. Normally, I wouldn’t mind such an attitude, but she was not a pleasant person in the least. Nor was she something you’d want to spend much time looking at. Short, squat, vaguely roundish, with short greasy hair, big glasses and bad teeth. Sort of like a troll, but without a troll’s innate cuteness. I shrugged and thought to my self - “Your funeral bro”.

We headed off, and the drinking commenced.

I’d like to give you a report of the ensuing trip, where we went, what we did on the way there and what we did when we got there, what was said and who said it. But sadly I can’t. There was simply too much alcohol for memory to be a viable option.

Where our story resumes is when I woke up. At first I thought I was in a junkyard. The first thing I saw when my vision came into focus was a pile of car parts. I was proud of myself for being able to identify a Rochester Quadrajet carburetor while dead. At least I thought I was dead. I was pretty sure of it, because living beings aren’t supposed to be able to feel quite as bad as I was feeling at the moment. After a minute or two, I realized I wasn’t dead, and was kind of disappointed. What I thought was the smell of embalming fluid was simply my own breath. I was disappointed because I realized I was simply very, very hung over and was going to have to deal with it. Then, it got worse.

I started looking about, and realized where I was. I was in the back end of Animal’s truck. He had a cap on the back and a bed, the sleeping kind - in the back end of the truck. Besides the bed, the back end was loaded up with car parts, tools, dirty clothes and assorted other packrat sorts of treasures. You easily see just by looking into the back of his truck why they called him Animal. Shit. Why was I in Animal’s truck? I then realized I wasn’t alone. At first I thought it was a rat growling at me. I wish. I turned over, and saw I was in bed with Ray. Of course, naked. My luck got somewhat better, as she was still passed out cold. What I thought was a rat growling was simply her snoring.

Panic took over. I began gathering my clothing, and as quietly as I could - which wasn’t very - began the arduous task of trying to make my getaway. Now, bear in mind a few things. The cap on the back of the truck didn’t leave anywhere near the room to stand up and the back of the truck was filled more or less to the gunwales with junk. You simply couldn’t get dressed inside without making a lot of noise. So I did the only sensible thing I could - which was to crawl over all the junk, to the back window over the tailgate and toss out my clothes and get dressed outside.



When I finally located my last item of clothing, I proceeded to crawl out the back of the truck. I hit the ground naked and looked about to figure out where I was.

Where I was, was the middle of Bodega Bay State park. In the RV camping section. If you’ve never been there - it’s basically a wide open, sandy area - with not a tree, shrub or fence to hide behind. Think of a parking lot - full of RV campers. In broad daylight. With hundreds of people staring at you. Women covering the eyes of children. Shit.

Getting dressed in record time while extremely hung over isn’t something I recommend you try. You simply can’t do it. There’s a lot of falling down and cussing involved. I’m sure there were some people who were amused by my antics. Some were probably mortified. Well, you can’t please everyone. I’ve often wondered if anybody thought to grab a camera. Thankfully, digital cameras and cell phones with them, hadn’t been invented yet. Had they, I’m sure I’d be a bit of a celebrity on YouTube.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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12-04-2015, 05:50 AM
RE: Walk of Shame
(12-04-2015 03:01 AM)Nurse Wrote:  Apparently it was Mother Son Day for the fraternity that day. So she put on her slut gear and put in her contacts, and marched back to the front of the house to pee. Later she had to drive her car back to her dorm paring lot and walk her sparkling slut gear down two blocks before making it home.

Pictures, or it didn't happen.

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Atheism promotes critical thinking; theism promotes hypocritical thinking. -- Me
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12-04-2015, 07:13 AM
RE: Walk of Shame
(12-04-2015 05:50 AM)WillHopp Wrote:  
(12-04-2015 03:01 AM)Nurse Wrote:  Apparently it was Mother Son Day for the fraternity that day. So she put on her slut gear and put in her contacts, and marched back to the front of the house to pee. Later she had to drive her car back to her dorm paring lot and walk her sparkling slut gear down two blocks before making it home.

Pictures, or it didn't happen.

I'm sure I've got pics somewhere...Consider


Please forgive the terrible writing - I didn't proofread it. It was typed out on my phone in between beeping pumps and machines at 4 in the morning.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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12-04-2015, 07:44 AM
RE: Walk of Shame
I have no shame! Smile
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12-04-2015, 10:13 AM
Re: Walk of Shame
I have one, though it's more of a 'walk of stupid'. A long, long time ago.. lol... I got sick of the babble-belt, so I drove a thousand miles (literally) that-a-way. I ended up in a large city.

Went to hang out (hook up) with a guy I'd met. I ended up at a house party... then I woke up. Beside a road, no shirt, in the broad daylight. Sports bra intact, so at least I didn't get picked up for indecent exposure.

I started walking the general direction I assumed my apartment was. Of course it was Sunday, so there were quite a few folks out driving around. I found my place after wandering around for at least an hour.
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12-04-2015, 10:36 AM
RE: Walk of Shame
This was not me but I was there.

I was at a party over at someone's house when their parents were gone when I was 18 and one of my friends (he was 19) was hitting on this really good looking girl. So we saw them go out after a while and that led to a few high fives and the envious feelings that guys have when their friends have better game than they do.

Fast forward to the morning and we are all beginning to stir at who knows what time and I see her leave with a friends of her's and a few minutes later, he comes into the living room, white as a sheet and sits down. I started joking that she really must have given him one hell of a workout to make him look like that. He looked up at me with the most scared look and replied, "she had to go home with her friend because she can't drive, she was 14 and her dad's a cop." Gasp

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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12-04-2015, 02:05 PM
RE: Walk of Shame
I don't tend to end up much in walk of shame situations Undecided Obviously not trying hard enough... I do find it difficult to get ashamed these days... Naked man... no worries. Calm down, it's just a dick...

In the long long ago there was a girl with whom I had sex in the mist in a game reserve... there was moonlight... a herd of antelope... hearing their hooves drumming into the distance as we cuddled on the associated small rocks (we weren't jacked up enough to have organized a mattress) and sharp jabby plants... That was great... my most memorable sex experience to date... but ja, not... a shocking one...

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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