Wanted to be Able to Say What I Really Feel
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04-02-2013, 09:59 PM
Wanted to be Able to Say What I Really Feel
Feeling like I need a place to "belong." I find it ironic that I seek others with the same beliefs (or find nonbelievers, if you will) that I do. I feel left out. I'm surrounded by believers. My family that didn't ever go to church, my friends and my fiancée who does believe in God. He believes he will go to Heaven while I am content with dying and feeding the worms. We like to joke about how different we are and point out our similarities: We both love peanut butter cups, we both love baseball, he loves Jesus and I have no affiliations with any religion...

Also, I have an almost six year old son who somehow expects me to say "bless you" after he sneezes. He didn't get that from me. Long story short: I'm finding myself lost as to how to raise my son with strong morals and be confident in whatever he believes without forcing my views on him. I want him to have an open relationship with me and know mom doesn't believe in God and yet I don't want to blatantly discount his religious questions.

I'm just getting sick of not being able to say how I feel without getting the religious people I know give me that "look." It's obnoxious and I don't push my beliefs on you so don't do it to me!

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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04-02-2013, 10:15 PM
RE: Wanted to be Able to Say What I Really Feel
I'm sure many here have shared similar feelings.

With children (my own especially) I've always remained neutral in conversations about 'stuff' (some people believe X some believe Y). If I'm asked my opinion, I give it. Others will, too. Ask them questions back (Why? How come? What makes you think that? But what if ___ happened? Etc). Developing critical thinking is most important, in my opinion. Heck, I even do this to some adults around me for shits and giggles. Big Grin
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04-02-2013, 10:41 PM
RE: Wanted to be Able to Say What I Really Feel
I don't understand what you mean when you say it's ironic that you seek like minded friends. Can you elaborate?
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05-02-2013, 09:10 AM
RE: Wanted to be Able to Say What I Really Feel
Hello and welcome!

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05-02-2013, 09:59 AM
RE: Wanted to be Able to Say What I Really Feel
Good morning Peanut - glad you've found a place to relax and get a secular perspective.

It is enough of a struggle just raising a kid amongst all the conflicting crap going on within the mainstream today. Having it seep into the inner circle of the family dynamic can really confuse and even manipulate ideas evolving in those new little noggins. It's good you're looking for some neutral ideas and feedback.

There are other cultures and languages out there and the subtle reinforcement of these can offset the not-always-so-subtle barrage of religious expectations. It's like a tennis game; he's gonna toss you a ball so you've got to toss it back otherwise, he'll find someone else to play with. He's doing this so he can be a better player; he wants to learn, help him. A sneeze is greatest curiosity opportunity in the world!! The next time he sneezes say, "gesundheit" - he'll ask... so, be prepared to stay one step ahead - you might find yourself learning right along with your kid. Wink

A lot of what you can do is to always keep the lines of communication open - that way the kid can learn from you and you can keep tabs on what he's getting from elsewhere - you already know that. Continual reinforcement of a diverse perspective can help your young one find his own way in the world and build a secure autonomy.

Welcome to the forum. Smile

I think in the end, I just feel like I'm a secular person who has a skeptical eye toward any extraordinary claim, carefully examining any extraordinary evidence before jumping to conclusions. ~ Eric ~ My friend ... who figured it out.
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05-02-2013, 12:33 PM
RE: Wanted to be Able to Say What I Really Feel
@bbeljefe, I've begun saying that because isn't that what people with religious faiths do? They go to church to feel as one. I am just feeling so alone and a lot of my friends would say I needed church. To join something "bigger than myself."

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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05-02-2013, 01:38 PM
RE: Wanted to be Able to Say What I Really Feel
Oh okay... that makes sense now. I wish I could say I know how you feel but honestly, I've never been surrounded by such deluded people. Don't misunderstand, most of the people I know are theists (or deists) but they don't obsess about church and god and other such nonsense.

If they did... I'd be done with the whole lot.

Oh and, welcome! I hope some of us can help to fill the void of rationality you're experiencing.
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07-02-2013, 04:19 AM
RE: Wanted to be Able to Say What I Really Feel
Welcome.

Word of advice regarding your son, shove your beliefs down his throat. What? They do it, why can't we? At least we're right...

I don't talk gay, I don't walk gay, it's like people don't even know I'm gay unless I'm blowing them.
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