Was I wrong to do this?
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18-01-2017, 10:41 AM
RE: Was I wrong to do this?
I can't believe I'm agreeing with Tomasia on this, but I do, albeit for different reasons.

I don't know the context of the passage, and I bet very few in the congregation will either, including the pastor/priest, so to me it's just not that important. And I don't think people at the service will consider the context anyways; they'll just be trying to relate the words themselves to the person being honoured.

The problem I have with your sister picking this particular quote isn't so much that she's cherry-picking, ('cause you know she's going to do that, being an evangelical), the problem is that she's picked the wrong passage

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments I give to you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road; when you lie down & when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands & bind them on your foreheads; write them in the door frames of your houses and on your gates."

Then she writes ...

Those verses felt particularly relevant as I try to relate his impact, because Grandpa didn't just talk about his values or what mattered to him, he also lived them by example (albeit an ornery one).

Choosing that particular passage seems contradictory to me, especially since you seem to say that he didn't talk about his values (most catholics don't) but just lived them. In that case, a better passage would be the one about praying in secret, or "they will know them by their love". I don't know your grandfather, but if he was one of those people who truly "walked the walk", then perhaps you could suggest a better passage.

Remember: it's not about her, or you, or even religion: it's about the person your grandfather was, his legacy as a human being.

If you stop thinking of the bible as a religious text and think of it as ancient literature, you could probably come up with something more appropriate to cherry-pick.

My condolences on your loss.

Your faith is not evidence, your opinion is not fact, and your bias is not wisdom
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18-01-2017, 10:52 AM
RE: Was I wrong to do this?
You did the right thing. I agree with MD, maybe suggest another non-bloodthirsty passage or include some song lyrics, a quote, a poem, of your own. That way, you are still honoring your grandpa in your own way.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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18-01-2017, 02:06 PM
RE: Was I wrong to do this?
I think you did the right thing by pointing out the context of the verse since the Bible does contain many beautiful passages pertaining to living with faith, not just talking about it. I'm sorry for your loss and I think your sister should be able to look past any of your beliefs or non beliefs in these difficult times.

I don't think it should be on you to provide a better verse since you're not even Christian but maybe point her in the right direction. If I was a theist I would appreciate someone clarifying something for me. There are actually some good quotes from the book of Job, even though it's a particularly fucked up story it really nails down the price of living with faith.

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18-01-2017, 04:18 PM
RE: Was I wrong to do this?
Tom, I see what you are saying but cherrypicking and changing the context is totally dishonest, regardless of the situation. Again, I really don't think that if she was quoting something from Romans 9 on how his brother Paul, was predestined to die as a child and that god killed him, you would be so cool with this.

Thanks for all your replies.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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18-01-2017, 04:48 PM
RE: Was I wrong to do this?
This reminds me. I gotta make sure no one reads a damned thing from the bible at my funeral. Everyone can just get drunk and tell funny stories about me, sing fun songs from Broadway musicals, play classical ballet music. That'll about do it.


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Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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18-01-2017, 05:08 PM
RE: Was I wrong to do this?
Indeed! My mom had it her way. "Alice's Restaurant" was the only specific request, and we sang along in harmony. The other request was a piano player taking requests.
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