Was happier as a Theist
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26-07-2014, 03:37 PM
Was happier as a Theist
I definitely was more happy when I thought I had a future and this God of mine was in love with me and protecting me and heard the every thought and longing in my mind and heart and was going to provide for me, and my every trial or suffering was atoning for sin and was a test from God, and my share in the cross.

I felt more secure and that there was a plan for my life. If I wanted a wife and it was God's will,l he would send her and I would know when I met the one that God wanted me to marry, and if he wanted me to be celibate in order to be more dedicated to God, than I would know that as well.

In a sense I was free of many responsibilities Because I could just say, "it's all in God's hands".

It was great and awe inspiring to contemplate the magnificence of this God who spoke the world and this whole universe into existence and what he/she/it had in store for those who love him/her.

It was heart breaking and so empty when I realized this God wasn't faithful to his word and was very cruel hiding the truth from everyone and leaving those who dedicate themselves to him in darkness and confusion. I felt more and more bitter towards this God that is unwilling to be there for the orphan, to be a friend to the lonely and broken hearted, to ease the pain of those who are abandoned, unwanted, unloved, and infirm.

Suddenly, I felt all alone. I have no clue how to take care of myself or provide for a family like I had always wanted. I'm bipolar and suffer from mental illness and the damage I've done to myself through drug abuse and huffing, and God isn't going to heal me.

Suicide became much more tempting when it seemed that I could just decompose and disappear and be in no more pain or have to be held accountable to God.

So, sadly, life has become quite empty without faith. I suppose all there is to live for is hobbies, a good girlfriend or wife if such a thing were to ever be likely for me, a good movie, a friendship, or material possessions which I don't really give a shit about, provided that I have a cell phone and a roof over my head.

But sadly it is an empty life. I was happier when I had simpleminded faith in a lie.
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26-07-2014, 04:38 PM
RE: Was happier as a Theist
But now that you know the truth, you know that it's your decisions to make that will affect your life. Praying to a god that isn't there would've never worked, but now that you know it's up to you, there's nothing to stop you, nothing to make your decisions for you and you don't have to wait for something to happen.

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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26-07-2014, 04:47 PM
RE: Was happier as a Theist
(26-07-2014 03:37 PM)Wicked Clown Wrote:  I definitely was more happy when I thought I had a future and this God of mine was in love with me and protecting me and heard the every thought and longing in my mind and heart and was going to provide for me, and my every trial or suffering was atoning for sin and was a test from God, and my share in the cross.

I felt more secure and that there was a plan for my life. If I wanted a wife and it was God's will,l he would send her and I would know when I met the one that God wanted me to marry, and if he wanted me to be celibate in order to be more dedicated to God, than I would know that as well.

In a sense I was free of many responsibilities Because I could just say, "it's all in God's hands".

It was great and awe inspiring to contemplate the magnificence of this God who spoke the world and this whole universe into existence and what he/she/it had in store for those who love him/her.

It was heart breaking and so empty when I realized this God wasn't faithful to his word and was very cruel hiding the truth from everyone and leaving those who dedicate themselves to him in darkness and confusion. I felt more and more bitter towards this God that is unwilling to be there for the orphan, to be a friend to the lonely and broken hearted, to ease the pain of those who are abandoned, unwanted, unloved, and infirm.

Suddenly, I felt all alone. I have no clue how to take care of myself or provide for a family like I had always wanted. I'm bipolar and suffer from mental illness and the damage I've done to myself through drug abuse and huffing, and God isn't going to heal me.

Suicide became much more tempting when it seemed that I could just decompose and disappear and be in no more pain or have to be held accountable to God.

So, sadly, life has become quite empty without faith. I suppose all there is to live for is hobbies, a good girlfriend or wife if such a thing were to ever be likely for me, a good movie, a friendship, or material possessions which I don't really give a shit about, provided that I have a cell phone and a roof over my head.

But sadly it is an empty life. I was happier when I had simpleminded faith in a lie.

You seem to be depicting the anthropomorphic Judaeo/Christian type god.
It is possible to contemplate a Universal force for the good without going down the path of those thousands of religions that want to convert you.
You don't have to 'know' to believe in possibilities, despite how remote they may seem.......... In terms of infinity many things are possible; our secular approach can be tempered with a little looking towards esoteric spiritual considerations.........
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26-07-2014, 05:29 PM
RE: Was happier as a Theist
I always found it a bit creepy when they said God was "in love" with me... Being all hetero and that.

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26-07-2014, 05:33 PM
RE: Was happier as a Theist
I wouldn't say I was much happier as a believer. There was a comforting peace of mind that I had whenever things would seem bleak that God would do as he willed, and that he had a plan for me and my family.

Believing that God was at my side backed me into a corner, and only I could pull myself out.

Accepting reality may make things seem worse, but it's even more dangerous to put your trust in something false. I was just reading a story about a woman who says she heard God tell her to "let him take the wheel" of her car, so she did, and she let her car run over a motorcyclist, almost killing him. If someone believed it was God's will to do something life threatening, they might hesitate to do it. But if they believe that what God wants will work out for good in the long run, they'll do whatever it is regardless of the risks involved.

Believing in real and true things is much safer and much more fulfilling. I don't see life as meaningless. I'm glad I had a chance to be here despite all the enormous odds. I'm not going to give an invisible being credit for my life.
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26-07-2014, 05:33 PM
RE: Was happier as a Theist
Quote:But sadly it is an empty life. I was happier when I had simpleminded faith in a lie.


People con themselves all the time about silly shit like that. You can go back to it. Hell, you may even convince yourself.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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26-07-2014, 06:00 PM (This post was last modified: 26-07-2014 06:24 PM by Stevil.)
RE: Was happier as a Theist
We make this shift when we go from being dependent children to being independant adults.
At first our life is about pleasing mum and dad, doing what they tell us to do, knowing that they will be there for us. But then we grow up and find out that we need to lead our own lives, make our own decisions, pull ourselves out of holes if need be.
I could imagine that this shift from dependance to independence can be quite unnerving for some people, but it is just part of life.

The independence view is much more demanding, much more rewarding but of course there is the risk that you let your self sink into the abyss and just give up. I'd say that if this is the case then your parents probably failed you in helping you develop life skills. But of course you are in the drivers seat, you can change things if you want.
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26-07-2014, 06:17 PM
RE: Was happier as a Theist
I was like this for a very long time It can take years to truly build your self back up
My faith was everything I was it was the truest statement about me I lived it every damed day it consumes you when I lost My faith it hurt like hell
That said I made peace with all of that and the last 2 years have been the happiest of my life
I have been an atheist for 6 years now the only advice I can give is there are no quick fixes out there its slow and painful but at least for me it was worth it in the end
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26-07-2014, 06:39 PM
RE: Was happier as a Theist
And I was happier when magic existed, Santa was real, and there were no problems in the world aside from figuring out what 1+1 equaled.

But, eventually, everyone has to grow up and face reality.

Or, at least they should, we let a ridiculous number of people stay idiots for some reason.

Popcorn I put more thought into fiction than theists put into reality.
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26-07-2014, 07:34 PM
RE: Was happier as a Theist
(26-07-2014 03:37 PM)Wicked Clown Wrote:  I definitely was more happy when I thought I had a future and this God of mine was in love with me and protecting me and heard the every thought and longing in my mind and heart and was going to provide for me, and my every trial or suffering was atoning for sin and was a test from God, and my share in the cross.

I felt more secure and that there was a plan for my life. If I wanted a wife and it was God's will,l he would send her and I would know when I met the one that God wanted me to marry, and if he wanted me to be celibate in order to be more dedicated to God, than I would know that as well.

In a sense I was free of many responsibilities Because I could just say, "it's all in God's hands".

It was great and awe inspiring to contemplate the magnificence of this God who spoke the world and this whole universe into existence and what he/she/it had in store for those who love him/her.

It was heart breaking and so empty when I realized this God wasn't faithful to his word and was very cruel hiding the truth from everyone and leaving those who dedicate themselves to him in darkness and confusion. I felt more and more bitter towards this God that is unwilling to be there for the orphan, to be a friend to the lonely and broken hearted, to ease the pain of those who are abandoned, unwanted, unloved, and infirm.

Suddenly, I felt all alone. I have no clue how to take care of myself or provide for a family like I had always wanted. I'm bipolar and suffer from mental illness and the damage I've done to myself through drug abuse and huffing, and God isn't going to heal me.

Suicide became much more tempting when it seemed that I could just decompose and disappear and be in no more pain or have to be held accountable to God.

So, sadly, life has become quite empty without faith. I suppose all there is to live for is hobbies, a good girlfriend or wife if such a thing were to ever be likely for me, a good movie, a friendship, or material possessions which I don't really give a shit about, provided that I have a cell phone and a roof over my head.

But sadly it is an empty life. I was happier when I had simpleminded faith in a lie.
It's kinda like when I was a child. I had no responsibility. Someone else took care of all my needs. Many times I think about how easy life was back then as I'm sure most adults do. But then I remember that there was little freedom as a child. Then I realize that being an adult is way better. Anything lost from childhood is worth the freedom of being an adult.
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