Watching a religious loved one endure cancer (or other life threatening disease)
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23-01-2013, 12:46 AM
RE: Watching a religious loved one endure cancer (or other life threatening disease)
I wasn't really close to her, my mom was, though, and that's why she still visits her.

Kind of glad I'm not close to her, Alzheimer's is some scary shit. The daughter thinks she's happy and not suffering, therefore god. And I'm glad if she's in a pleasant mood, that's gotta be better than being in a shit mood and having no idea who you are or who anyone else is... But it also pains me because you'd think something like that would be evidence to these people that the personality and your memories and such are linked to your brain. It's her brain that's deteriorating, not her "soul" (whatever that's supposed to be).

Her children visit and tell each other she looks good and seems to recognize them, but I sort of doubt it. It's like a cousin I had who stopped breathing during birth, umbilical cord or something, and became brain damaged, he's never spoken a word, he can't do anything for himself, etc. yet people try to convince themselves he recognizes them and is communicating, but it seems unlikely to me. Again, people try to go for the more comforting explanation of things in these cases because it's not "fair." They're right, it's not fair, and it sucks that people have problems like that, but I think the error they're making is assuming that life is fair. And I think that also has a lot to do with the concepts of heaven and hell. That way, if shit seems unfair in life, god will even out the score sometime during eternity. In fact, several relatives have actually said that to me, more or less. So they believe things like you meet your loved ones again in heaven because it sucks and doesn't seem fair that they died.

Pardon my rambling, it's late and I've already taken a pill to put myself to sleep. Not working though...
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23-01-2013, 12:47 AM
RE: Watching a religious loved one endure cancer (or other life threatening disease)
I would never try to dissuade a believer of their finite terminality.
By providing open love to your family, irrespective of religious beliefs, I think you are acting
with an open decency.
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23-01-2013, 05:54 PM
RE: Watching a religious loved one endure cancer (or other life threatening disease)
Amyb, your comments about perceived fairness are spot on. My Christian BF says the Sam thing about the fairness deal. He says that some people have it so sucky in this,life that this can't be all there is and that he can't believe a loved one's death means we will not see them again. I thought death meant exactly that, never seeing the departed again, hence the grief in missing them. I said that wanting it to be so (god, afterlife, etc) doesn't make it so. He goes back too the fact that he just knows and you gotta have faith, so there it stays. We can discuss the matter civilly, and he knows where I stand.

Woof, you are correct. We can love people without having to agree with them on everything.

Godless in the Magnolia State
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