Weird situation, would appreciate some input.
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05-06-2016, 03:53 PM
RE: Weird situation, would appreciate some input.
(05-06-2016 03:48 PM)Deesse23 Wrote:  
(05-06-2016 03:06 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Seth did an interview a couple weeks ago with Tracie Harris from 'The Atheist Experience'. In passing it came up that her parents were both dead...it caught Seth off guard and he apologized profusely. Ms. Harris stopped him and told him not to worry, she had not had a relationship with her parents in quite some time. She briefly described the situation and I felt liberated by it. People just don't talk out loud about cutting ties with their parents. It's just not socially acceptable even when the relationship is toxic and irreparable.

When first I made the final decision to cut ties I went to a therapist for a few sessions about it...most people just don't understand. Her first question to me was wanting to know why I was there. I told her that I wanted her permission to never speak to my mother again. I didn't know anyone else, at that time, who had ever completely removed a parent or parents from their lives.

It helps still when I find out others have had to do the same. I understand the pain that comes from that decision and the pain that makes that decision necessary.

Thanks again.

I just learned the same thing. It was always hard to try and explain my situation to my friends who didnt have disfunctional families like i did.
Never thought joining TTA would actually help me with this topic.
Hug

TTA has been a mental and emotional lifesaver for me on many fronts.

Hugs back atcha.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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05-06-2016, 04:02 PM
RE: Weird situation, would appreciate some input.
Hey, I think everything here has been said. I just wanted to let you know that I read this and if you still feel the need to talk, I have an available ear and you know where to find me Smile

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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05-06-2016, 04:09 PM
RE: Weird situation, would appreciate some input.
I would advise you not to open doors to people you don't wish to enter.

But do what you think best.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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05-06-2016, 04:11 PM
RE: Weird situation, would appreciate some input.
There comes a time
when you must clean out your closets,
and take down
your dusty photographs.
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05-06-2016, 05:18 PM
RE: Weird situation, would appreciate some input.
(05-06-2016 02:33 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Anyhow...should I send my mother a sympathy card? Part of me says it's the decent thing to do. Part of me says...let sleeping dogs lie. Undecided

I'd visit Max's grave. In my own time. Seems like the only decent thing to do to me.

#sigh
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05-06-2016, 08:20 PM
RE: Weird situation, would appreciate some input.
(05-06-2016 05:18 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(05-06-2016 02:33 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Anyhow...should I send my mother a sympathy card? Part of me says it's the decent thing to do. Part of me says...let sleeping dogs lie. Undecided

I'd visit Max's grave. In my own time. Seems like the only decent thing to do to me.

If I ever met the man it would have been when I was too young to remember.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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05-06-2016, 08:35 PM
RE: Weird situation, would appreciate some input.
Hug
My nieces are in that difficult position, my EX brother in law is a despicable rat of a person. It is never talked about for the very reasons you have mentioned.
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05-06-2016, 08:57 PM
RE: Weird situation, would appreciate some input.
(05-06-2016 08:35 PM)skyking Wrote:  Hug
My nieces are in that difficult position, my EX brother in law is a despicable rat of a person. It is never talked about for the very reasons you have mentioned.

I think there are a few things that make this situation difficult to be open about. One is the whole "Honor Thy Mother and Father" thing. The other is that it is so distasteful to even think that a parent (particularly a mother) is so bad that even the children can't stand to be around them/him/her.

There are times when I am jealous of people who have good relationships with their parents. I feel cheated. She was never there when most people can turn to their mother.

My rational self realizes that there is something really wrong with my mother and there always has been - she was 17 when she had me, she was always a bad mother. In fact, she is a truly unpleasant person who has alienated nearly everyone who has ever been part of her life.

I will never forget her screaming...don't kill her Fritz, I want to kill her too but you can't kill her. I was 16. Undecided

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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05-06-2016, 08:57 PM
RE: Weird situation, would appreciate some input.
(05-06-2016 08:35 PM)skyking Wrote:  Hug
My nieces are in that difficult position, my EX brother in law is a despicable rat of a person. It is never talked about for the very reasons you have mentioned.

My sister hasn't spoken to me in eight years. It's a long story but suffice it to say we were never super close as kids and as adults were even more distant. My sister is someone who always kept people at arm's length. It took my father's death for our relationship to completely blow up. She accused my husband of stealing my father's money, what little there was. It was ridiculous. Anyway, she's someone who holds a grudge for ever. She hasn't spoken to her only child for 15 years. Her son became a psychologist just to try and figure out what was wrong with his mother.

Sorry, this thread brought up some bad memories.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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05-06-2016, 09:07 PM
RE: Weird situation, would appreciate some input.
(05-06-2016 08:57 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(05-06-2016 08:35 PM)skyking Wrote:  Hug
My nieces are in that difficult position, my EX brother in law is a despicable rat of a person. It is never talked about for the very reasons you have mentioned.

My sister hasn't spoken to me in eight years. It's a long story but suffice it to say we were never super close as kids and as adults were even more distant. My sister is someone who always kept people at arm's length. It took my father's death for our relationship to completely blow up. She accused my husband of stealing my father's money, what little there was. It was ridiculous. Anyway, she's someone who holds a grudge for ever. She hasn't spoken to her only child for 15 years. Her son became a psychologist just to try and figure out what was wrong with his mother.

Sorry, this thread brought up some bad memories.

I think we have the same sister. Sad

Hug Pretty much to everyone.

This is what I learned... who you were born to is chance. You had no control, you had no choice and it's not your fault. It is also not your fault you finally chose not to be their doormat anymore. In fact it's a huge credit to your character to leave them behind not only for yourself but for the other people in your life that they might have poisoned.

As an individual your have a right not to be tormented, especially by those who are supposed to love you. Find love where you can, forgive yourself and leave bad people to their own devices.

Hug again. Heart

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