Welcome Mark Dreher
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21-08-2013, 05:47 AM
RE: Welcome Mark Dreher
(21-08-2013 01:01 AM)Mark Dreher Wrote:  ...

Many atheists, have problems, I can not fix.

i.e. homosexuals, or Jewish.

Those, I would have a hard time, fixing.

But, if you are outside of those two obvious problems.

I can save you.
...

Praise be! I am immune. I am unfixable!

Rolleyes

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21-08-2013, 05:48 AM
RE: Welcome Mark Dreher
(21-08-2013 05:05 AM)Mark Dreher Wrote:  
(21-08-2013 04:57 AM)Shannow Wrote:  OMG it's the Anti-HoC!

Shocking

The end times are at hand! Repent you fools...repent...


So the criteria for entrance to heaven and ever-lasting life are to say grace and go to church?

That is...erm...new thinking...don't suppose you have any evidence aside from the Bible you created to support this do you?



I have tons of evidence, tons and tons and tons.

And yes, the key, to going to Heaven, is quite simple.

Grace, every meal.

And church, every week.

Even a murderer

Would go to Heaven.

If he did that.

Another poster here who also claims a personal relationship with god, PleaseJesus, disagrees with you. They claim the criteria for admission to heaven is much more stringent than what you describe here. I am a bit confused. Who am I to believe?
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21-08-2013, 05:49 AM
RE: Welcome Mark Dreher
(21-08-2013 05:39 AM)Stark Raving Wrote:  Wait just a minute here.

So Dark Light gets saved, but you won't even talk to me?

That's not fair at all! I wanna be saved too!!

Saved from what, yourself? Tongue

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21-08-2013, 05:55 AM
RE: Welcome Mark Dreher
(21-08-2013 05:23 AM)Dark Light Wrote:  
(21-08-2013 01:01 AM)Mark Dreher Wrote:  Hey, Dark Light, my dear, I don't know if I can convert you.

Many atheists, have problems, I can not fix.

i.e. homosexuals, or Jewish.

Those, I would have a hard time, fixing.

But, if you are outside of those two obvious problems.

I can save you.

So..

We'll see.

Alright. Well, I suppose I'm one of the lucky ones. I am not even an atheist by definition. I am not Jewish, nor homosexual. Let's have it then.




The Book of Life, records very little information.

It is a simple thing.

It says, this meal, did you say grace?

Yes/No.

It says, this week, did you attend church?

Yes/No.

And that, is about it.

When you kneel before the throne, on your last day, God "will call for the book".

The Book of Life.

And he will open it.

And if it is filled with "Yes's"

You go to Heaven.

If it is filled with "No's"

You go to Hell.

It is such a simple matter

That you can not believe it.
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21-08-2013, 06:00 AM
RE: Welcome Mark Dreher
(21-08-2013 05:48 AM)devilsadvoc8 Wrote:  
(21-08-2013 05:05 AM)Mark Dreher Wrote:  I have tons of evidence, tons and tons and tons.

And yes, the key, to going to Heaven, is quite simple.

Grace, every meal.

And church, every week.

Even a murderer

Would go to Heaven.

If he did that.

Another poster here who also claims a personal relationship with god, PleaseJesus, disagrees with you. They claim the criteria for admission to heaven is much more stringent than what you describe here. I am a bit confused. Who am I to believe?




That is a simple human.

Who does not, actually know.

You do not speak, with a simple human, right now.

"The Second Coming"

Of "The Lord Jesus Christ".

Maybe, you heard of me.

And maybe, you should give my words

A little more weight.
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21-08-2013, 06:02 AM
RE: Welcome Mark Dreher
So in all seriousness...Mark, it is obvious you don't actually believe all your gibberish (if you did, you wouldn't go making mistakes like calling god "he" all the time.) so it begs the question; what are you getting out of this? Is it just for entertainment? A drunken dare? Mental illness? What's the story Mark? Inquiring minds want to know.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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21-08-2013, 06:14 AM
RE: Welcome Mark Dreher
(21-08-2013 06:02 AM)Stark Raving Wrote:  So in all seriousness...Mark, it is obvious you don't actually believe all your gibberish (if you did, you wouldn't go making mistakes like calling god "he" all the time.) so it begs the question; what are you getting out of this? Is it just for entertainment? A drunken dare? Mental illness? What's the story Mark? Inquiring minds want to know.





Did I not tell you

We are done corresponding?

You spit in my face.

And for that, you will pay.

Now stop writing to me.
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21-08-2013, 06:23 AM
RE: Welcome Mark Dreher
(21-08-2013 06:14 AM)Mark Dreher Wrote:  
(21-08-2013 06:02 AM)Stark Raving Wrote:  So in all seriousness...Mark, it is obvious you don't actually believe all your gibberish (if you did, you wouldn't go making mistakes like calling god "he" all the time.) so it begs the question; what are you getting out of this? Is it just for entertainment? A drunken dare? Mental illness? What's the story Mark? Inquiring minds want to know.





Did I not tell you

We are done corresponding?

You spit in my face.

And for that, you will pay.

Now stop writing to me.
Well you certainly have a right to respond or not respond to anyone anywhere on an internet forum, but he does bring up a valid point when asking why you refer to god as a he when in other posts you claim god is a she and sits next to you. This seems like a very careless error.

"you will pay" is a childish and meaningless threat. You should refrain from such crap if you want to be taken seriously.
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21-08-2013, 06:25 AM (This post was last modified: 21-08-2013 06:29 AM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: Welcome Mark Dreher
Hey junior/assistant god,
Is it ok to say :
"Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub. Yeah god".
or "Father, son, holy ghost. The one who eats the fastest gets the most" for grace ?

I see you are, (just like Yahweh), a vengeful jr/assn't. god.
Does "you will pay", mean you have, shall we say, *powers* ?

Since Jebus sits at god's right hand, does he sit on your lap ? Is that fun for you guys ?

Waiting for that "tons and tons" of evidence. You weren't just shitting us , now were ya ?

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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21-08-2013, 06:27 AM
RE: Welcome Mark Dreher
(21-08-2013 06:14 AM)Mark Dreher Wrote:  And for that, you will pay.

Ah yes, the Holy Army of Shekinah will shove their collective fingers up their bums, thus bringing forth the anointed one, Mark Dreher, who will make us all pay.

You're an unpleasant shit Mark. Please fuck off. We don't like you.
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