What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
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08-02-2016, 02:13 PM
What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
I was watching old Gunsmoke episodes today and a woman was telling a young man the difference between him and his dad was, "He (the dad) was a man." She was making it clear that the young man's act of killing a woman and running away was cowardly and that "real men" would never act that way. That taking ownership of your actions is one mark of a real man.

We often hear about the stereotypical expectations for women and they are hotly debated but I would like to discuss these same expectation for men. The term "real man" is so subjective and yet culturally and socially important to the boys and young men growing up.

For anyone:
What does being a "real man" mean to you?
Do you think that boys are lacking in this training in our current times and culture as opposed to previous cultural and historical times?

Some questions for the men here:
Where or from whom, did you learn to be a man?
Are you still learning, is it an ongoing thing?
Did you have an ideal man that you tried to emulate?
Do you try to teach/share that to other young males/boys?

If you have any other pertinent questions feel free to add them to the discussion.

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08-02-2016, 02:37 PM (This post was last modified: 08-02-2016 02:43 PM by Szuchow.)
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  For anyone:
What does being a "real man" mean to you?

Nothing. Those are words without meaning. Or attempt to discredit someone by claiming that fantastical creature called "real man" wouldn't do x where x is something that person uttering those absurd words find not to his liking.

(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Do you think that boys are lacking in this training in our current times and culture as opposed to previous cultural and historical times?

No.

(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Where or from whom, did you learn to be a man?

I did not. I am a man and I will be one regardless of what anyone think about me and regardless of whatever I may do.

(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Are you still learning, is it an ongoing thing?

One can not learn to be a man. One is a man or one is not.

(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Did you have an ideal man that you tried to emulate?

I try to not hurt others and respect their freedom. Can't say if I'm succeeding in this as one can not be a judge in one own case.

(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Do you try to teach/share that to other young males/boys?

No. I don't have an offspring and other people children aren't my concern or responsibility.

In short "real man" is like "good, old times" - it mean whatever person saying such words want. It's a nostalgia for things that never were.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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08-02-2016, 02:40 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  I was watching old Gunsmoke episodes today and a woman was telling a young man the difference between him and his dad was, "He (the dad) was a man." She was making it clear that the young man's act of killing a woman and running away was cowardly and that "real men" would never act that way. That taking ownership of your actions is one mark of a real man.

We often hear about the stereotypical expectations for women and they are hotly debated but I would like to discuss these same expectation for men. The term "real man" is so subjective and yet culturally and socially important to the boys and young men growing up.

For anyone:
What does being a "real man" mean to you?
Do you think that boys are lacking in this training in our current times and culture as opposed to previous cultural and historical times?

Some questions for the men here:
Where or from whom, did you learn to be a man?
Are you still learning, is it an ongoing thing?
Did you have an ideal man that you tried to emulate?
Do you try to teach/share that to other young males/boys?

If you have any other pertinent questions feel free to add them to the discussion.

If we strip away the physical differences between the sexes, we will find all that is left is stereotyped cultural norms to define what is a "real man". Many of these cultural norms are nothing more than the sort of sexism that feminists criticize when females are cast in traditional cultural roles. Young boys should just be taught to be the best kind of person they can be.
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08-02-2016, 02:44 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
A real man?

To not be a child or adolescent boy. Outside of that I dont buy into the "real man" crap anymore than I do "real woman"

I'm not sure what training one needs to be a man other than going through puberty If you mean rights or initiation into adulthood I think thats for every person (or family i suppose) to decide for themselves.
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08-02-2016, 02:57 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  I was watching old Gunsmoke episodes today... SNIP ... That taking ownership of your actions is one mark of a real man.
I don't know how many of the cultural ideals espoused in Gunsmoke will hold up today, but I do agree with this one, although I would apply it to women also.

Taking ownership of your actions is one mark of a real adult.

(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  What does being a "real man" mean to you?
By "real man" I would say an adult, maturely behaved man.

A man has an obligation to support himself to the best of his ability.
If a man chooses to have a family, he has an obligation to support that family as well.
Seeking help for oneself or one's family is not a sign of weakness.
A man's priorities are family, job, self, in that order.
If a man is in a position to help others, he should do so.
You are responsible for your actions and the consequences of them.
If you're wrong, admit it, fix it and move on.

(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Where or from whom, did you learn to be a man?
My father, mostly, although there are always other influences.

(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Are you still learning, is it an ongoing thing?
Never stop learning.

(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Did you have an ideal man that you tried to emulate?
No

(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Do you try to teach/share that to other young males/boys?
Yes

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Freedom offers opportunity. Opportunity confers responsibility. Responsibility to use the freedom we enjoy wisely, honestly and humanely. ~ Noam Chomsky
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08-02-2016, 03:16 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
Having a post-puberty male sexual reproductive system.

"Allow there to be a spectrum in all that you see" - Neil Degrasse Tyson
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08-02-2016, 03:18 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  I was watching old Gunsmoke episodes today and a woman was telling a young man the difference between him and his dad was, "He (the dad) was a man." She was making it clear that the young man's act of killing a woman and running away was cowardly and that "real men" would never act that way. That taking ownership of your actions is one mark of a real man.

We often hear about the stereotypical expectations for women and they are hotly debated but I would like to discuss these same expectation for men. The term "real man" is so subjective and yet culturally and socially important to the boys and young men growing up.

For anyone:
What does being a "real man" mean to you?
Do you think that boys are lacking in this training in our current times and culture as opposed to previous cultural and historical times?

Some questions for the men here:
Where or from whom, did you learn to be a man?
Are you still learning, is it an ongoing thing?
Did you have an ideal man that you tried to emulate?
Do you try to teach/share that to other young males/boys?

If you have any other pertinent questions feel free to add them to the discussion.
What does being a "real man" mean to you?

I don't really subscribe to the notion of being a real man. It's a silly concept to me.

Where or from whom, did you learn to be a man?

I haven't learned from anyone.

Are you still learning, is it an ongoing thing?

Nope, But I'm still learning how to be me.

Did you have an ideal man that you tried to emulate?

Nope.

Do you try to teach/share that to other young males/boys?

If anything I'll try to help them become themselves. Confidence and self-worth is properly the most important things to help you develop your own identity. I think most things spring from those.
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08-02-2016, 03:20 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
It means nothing.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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08-02-2016, 03:29 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
Well, I think Heatheness has the heart of it - taking responsibility, accepting responsibility, acting honourably. Drinking Beverage

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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08-02-2016, 03:29 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
Not being a dick. Not being childish. Handling your responsibilities like an adult. Not being threatened by a woman of equal footing.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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