What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
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08-02-2016, 04:44 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
(08-02-2016 02:13 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  I was watching old Gunsmoke episodes today and a woman was telling a young man the difference between him and his dad was, "He (the dad) was a man." She was making it clear that the young man's act of killing a woman and running away was cowardly and that "real men" would never act that way. That taking ownership of your actions is one mark of a real man.

We often hear about the stereotypical expectations for women and they are hotly debated but I would like to discuss these same expectation for men. The term "real man" is so subjective and yet culturally and socially important to the boys and young men growing up.

For anyone:
What does being a "real man" mean to you?
Do you think that boys are lacking in this training in our current times and culture as opposed to previous cultural and historical times?

Some questions for the men here:
Where or from whom, did you learn to be a man?
Are you still learning, is it an ongoing thing?
Did you have an ideal man that you tried to emulate?
Do you try to teach/share that to other young males/boys?

If you have any other pertinent questions feel free to add them to the discussion.

What does being a "real man" mean to you?
Nothing more than a tribal signifier that seeks to exclude. A walking, talking no-true-Scotsman fallacy. I detest all "real" verbiage, no matter what it is attempting to exclude/define.

Do you think that boys are lacking in this training in our current times and culture as opposed to previous cultural and historical times?
No. People have been bemoaning kids these days and proclaiming the comparative character benefits of walking to school uphill for six miles in both directions, etc., ever since the invention of writing--and presumably before that.

I agree that if one is a parent or mentor, it's important to point out when one's charges' stated ideals contradict their actions. I feel uncomfortable calling this something that is not worthy of a "real man." But I'm a pragmatist: if it works for guys to have an ideal of a real man to shape their behavior, I can't say I'm 100% against it.
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08-02-2016, 05:36 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
Fix any vehicle
Wrestle alligators
Drink beer
Shag birds
Grow a beard

That's about it I think.........I jest, I think it is all bullcrap.

It has already been said well, be a decent human being and take responsibility.
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08-02-2016, 05:41 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
Quote:Where or from whom, did you learn to be a man?
I've always hated the phrase, "real man". It's too ambiguous. What does it mean? If it emanates from the "be a man!" crowd, it's a pointless mantra.

Quote:Are you still learning, is it an ongoing thing?
Learning is a lifelong process, I reckon.

Quote:Did you have an ideal man that you tried to emulate?
I've always looked up to my late father. He came from nothing and made success for himself and us, his family. I'm always trying to emulate his work ethic, perseverance and relentlessness.

Quote:Do you try to teach/share that to other young males/boys?
I'd love to be a leader one day. Not in relevance to the "real man" or "BE A MAN!" crap, but in general. By example. Take accountability for your actions, be kind to others (it's not that fucking difficult), go after what you want in life irrespective of detractors, etc.
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08-02-2016, 06:05 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
(08-02-2016 05:41 PM)UndauntedToast Wrote:  "BE A MAN!"

Well now you made me do it.



I'm not sure still what it means via this either. But I take it has something to do with refusing to actually eat apples and contemplating Pink Floyd music at night.

Though this is my favorite reflection on the concept of what a manliness is all about. From my favorite sports coaching rant, though it actually was a positive sticking up for kids and folks who did nothing wrong, this silly line came out of it that resonates with what manness is I guess.



"Allow there to be a spectrum in all that you see" - Neil Degrasse Tyson
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08-02-2016, 06:43 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
(08-02-2016 05:36 PM)Blessed_Cheesemaker Wrote:  Fix any vehicle
Wrestle alligators
Drink beer
Shag birds
Grow a beard

That's about it I think.........I jest, I think it is all bullcrap.

It has already been said well, be a decent human being and take responsibility.

Can't I just wrestle with the birds and shag the gator?
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08-02-2016, 08:42 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
My husband is a big, burly, strong, hardworking guy.... who loves to cook, decorate the house, shop, buy scented candles and cries at chick flick movies. (however, he cooks meat and potatoes, decorates with stuff from Dragon*con and also loves shootem'up movies and all sports too)... he is the perfect man. He does and likes what he pleases without caring whether it fits anyone's idea of masculinity. He takes care of me while knowing I am capable of taking care of myself. He gives of himself just because he is generous to everyone. When I think of the perfect man... I think of him.

Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
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08-02-2016, 08:46 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
I hate that commercial for 1800 tequila with Ray Liotta. There's 2 guys drinking fruity drinks at a bar, laughing and obviously having a good time. Ray Liotta orders 1800 tequila and gives those 2 guys a "look". They immediately look guilty and order the tequila. They are now "real men".
To me, a real man would say "screw what you think I should drink, I'm having a good time with my friend while drinking a drink I like!" There are a lot of commercials out there that send that message. I hate them. The coolest guy to me is one who just does what he wants.

Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
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08-02-2016, 09:14 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
(08-02-2016 08:46 PM)rebel*ox Wrote:  I hate that commercial for 1800 tequila with Ray Liotta. There's 2 guys drinking fruity drinks at a bar, laughing and obviously having a good time. Ray Liotta orders 1800 tequila and gives those 2 guys a "look". They immediately look guilty and order the tequila. They are now "real men".
To me, a real man would say "screw what you think I should drink, I'm having a good time with my friend while drinking a drink I like!" There are a lot of commercials out there that send that message. I hate them. The coolest guy to me is one who just does what he wants.

Agreed.

[Image: dnw9krH.jpg?4]
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08-02-2016, 09:40 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
A "real man" gets killed by a meteorite.
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08-02-2016, 09:50 PM
RE: What Does "Being A Real Man" Mean To You?
Waking up with a woodie. Drinking Beverage

#sigh
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