What are your views on monogamy?
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24-06-2017, 10:12 PM (This post was last modified: 24-06-2017 10:16 PM by RocketSurgeon76.)
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(25-05-2017 11:12 AM)Stefan Mayerschoff Wrote:  I echo this idea. From an evolutionary standpoint, men and women fall into two different categories. Men are hardwired to spread their seed as far and wide as possible, since that's the most effective way to ensure the maximum number of progeny (and thus genetic material) survive to reproductive age. Women don't have that option, as each offspring requires a minimum of 9m gestation, plus substantial additional time for rearing and nurturing. So, the best evolutionary strategy for women is to attached themselves to a male that can provide protection, food, etc until such time as they can reproduce again.

Obviously we have made adjustments for societal norms, but at our core biologic essence, monogamy is not to be found.

All that aside, I'm happily married for 14 years (today, actually) and have not, nor would I ever cheat on my wife. Not because I have never felt desire for someone else, but because I respect her too much to do that to her and our marriage. As far as a mutually agreed upon open relationship, I don't think that would work for either of us. Not that we are particularly jealous people, I just think it would ultimately create its own baggage that would cause problems.

What you say here is only partly true. Men are capable of "spread[ing] their seed far and wide", but that doesn't automatically make it a good reproductive strategy, compared to monogamy and raising one woman's children in a (relatively) stable environment with full family/resource support. [Edit: That's because we're a social species, in which both resource availability and the status that comes with these resources and positions in the society matter, in terms of outcome, both on an evolutionary survival and social/reproductive success measure for offspring produced in those situations.] Likewise, women are capable of having children by multiple fathers, serially, but that isn't necessarily the best reproductive strategy, either, and for the same reason.

Humans have a clear past in non-monogamy, as evidenced by several things which include "killer/blocker sperm" designed to compete with other male sperm already present in the female reproductive system, as well as the "mushroom shaped" glans, which acts to "scoop out" previous competitor's contributions. Likely, at some point in our past, we were more like chimpanzees or bonobos, in our approach to mating.

Early in our evolutionary history, it appears, when we first began pairing up at all, a system developed that rewarded us with dopamine, the same hormone we get from a great meal or, say, cocaine, when we became infatuated with a person. This "wild, romantic love" phase has been found to last about four years (commonly called the "seven year itch", it actually turned out to be shorter, in research on the subject), which is just enough time for a couple to fall in love, make/have a child together, raise it until it can survive with just one parent's care, and then the couple "drifts apart" to find new opportunities. This was the beginning of our path to monogamy, and for many people and relationships, this "wild love and then drifting apart" pattern is the norm.

But we have evolved significantly as a social and pair-bonding species. Studies have shown that people in long term relationships are capable of renewing the "lizard brain level" (as I call it) testosterone-lust system and the dopamine-reward "infatuation" centers of the brain based on a third system-- based on vasopresin in men and oxytosin in women-- that "re-triggers" the other two systems when seeing even a picture of their mate. This tertiary bonding is not highly active in all men (or women), and it turns out that roughly half the species is monogamous, while the other half is not. Men are slightly less likely to be monogamous than women, but it's still close to 50/50 in both sexes.

In short, we're in a "transitional phase" away from a non-monogamous evolutionary past, and some of us still don't have systems that make us happier, long term, in a committed relationship. That's fine. The only real issue comes when we start calling monogamy "the norm" and shaming people into joining into long term pair bonding relationships for cultural reasons, when they're just not suited to it. We should say that both monogamy and polyamory are norms, and that part of normal sexual development is to figure out into which camp you personally belong. Smile

Me, I'm a monogamist. *shrug*

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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25-06-2017, 09:16 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
I'm built for monogamy.
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25-06-2017, 09:31 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(25-06-2017 09:16 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  I'm built for monogamy.

Question is, are you built for comfort? Rolleyes




"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderĂ²."
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25-06-2017, 10:27 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
Lol, I'm easy ... Like Sunday morning.
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25-06-2017, 10:33 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
Me, I'm just sittin' at the dock of the bay (well, figuratively, at least)... Though, as Fernando Pessoa says, "There are ships sailing to many ports, but not a single one goes where life is not painful." But also beautiful...





(Credit goes to Girly for introducing me to this great version which has the added bonus (for me) of showing places in Rio I actually lived close to. My lovely, lovely, Rio, I'm coming back, soon-ish (and PF willing Rolleyes )

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25-06-2017, 11:28 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(24-06-2017 10:12 PM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  In short, we're in a "transitional phase" away from a non-monogamous evolutionary past, ....

Technology has rendered evolution moot. Our robot overlords will realize soon enough that only a few genetically engineered super-members of our species require genitalia to maintain the meat maintenance unit population and the rest can be satisfied just by a few sucks on some synapses and diddling some dendrites. This is where evolution has got us. Gleefully engineering our own demise. Thanks Darwin.

#sigh
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25-06-2017, 11:30 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(25-06-2017 11:28 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(24-06-2017 10:12 PM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  In short, we're in a "transitional phase" away from a non-monogamous evolutionary past, ....

Technology has rendered evolution moot. Our robot overlords will realize soon enough that only a few genetically engineered super-members of our species require genitalia to maintain the meat maintenance unit population and the rest can be satisfied just by a few sucks on some synapses and diddling some dendrites. This is where evolution has got us. Gleefully engineering our own demise. Thanks Darwin.

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25-06-2017, 11:34 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(25-06-2017 11:28 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Our robot overlords will realize soon enough that only a few genetically engineered super-members of our species require genitalia

I, for one, welcome our asexual future Drinking Beverage

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25-06-2017, 11:36 AM (This post was last modified: 25-06-2017 11:43 AM by GirlyMan.)
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(25-06-2017 11:30 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  
(25-06-2017 11:28 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Technology has rendered evolution moot. Our robot overlords will realize soon enough that only a few genetically engineered super-members of our species require genitalia to maintain the meat maintenance unit population and the rest can be satisfied just by a few sucks on some synapses and diddling some dendrites. This is where evolution has got us. Gleefully engineering our own demise. Thanks Darwin.

[Image: jennings-overlords.jpg]

Steve Wozniak feeds his dogs filet mignon in the hopes that the robot overlords will take notice and treat us like pampered pets. Sounds as good a plan as any. Thumbsup Except for the neutering part. Sad

#sigh
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25-06-2017, 11:43 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(25-06-2017 11:36 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(25-06-2017 11:30 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  [Image: jennings-overlords.jpg]

Steve Wozniak feeds his dogs filet mignon in the hopes that the robot overlords will take notice and treat us like pampered pets. Sounds as good a plan as any. Thumbsup

One can only hope they judge us by his example, and say, not how we treat literally anything else; including but not limited to factory farmed animals, glacial ice caps, the working poor, sex education, nations filled with brown people, our infrastructure, and mimes.

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