What are your views on monogamy?
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06-07-2017, 06:27 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(06-07-2017 10:10 AM)julep Wrote:  
(28-06-2017 01:41 PM)mordant Wrote:  It is not that being married is "about" fancy parties and clothing and pomp and circumstance, but all those things are symbolic and the brain deals in symbols. I maintain that any woman who says she would be happy with "cheap rings and going to the pub afterwards" hasn't thought it through and will eventually blame you for this tawdry excuse of a wedding that puts her at a permanent social disadvantage in sharing with other women. Eventually, it becomes about you not loving or caring enough. The symbolism is stronger by far than the rational facts on the ground. Few and far between be the spouse who can hold their own against that relentless pull.

I bought my current wife a horribly expensive engagement ring because she told me she "didn't need anything fancy" and then I just smiled and let her pick it out. It was $10K of "not fancy". Case closed. To this day I fear her being mugged on the street for it. Fortunately it is not ostentatious, she picked quality over size / quantity. Again -- symbolic. Back when the DeBeers syndicate established diamonds as the measure of a man's ardor, they were fucking brilliant.

All that said, our actual wedding consisted of us, a justice of the peace, two of our three surviving children, and an overnight at a local B&B. But then again, it was the third time for both of us, we're old, and no one wants to go to third weddings, and certainly doesn't want to bestow gifts on you.

My one and only wedding, 21 years ago, was Justice of the Peace, one night in a hotel, and a $20 engagement ring. The total cost of my wedding/honeymoon, including the blood tests and our rings: around $500. I have never regretted anything about that day, nor have I blamed my husband for it; we agreed to the details and both wanted to be married much more than we wanted to get married. We split every cost, including the wedding/engagement rings, right down the middle.

I've talked with plenty of other females about their weddings and ours and never experienced any social pressure or criticism from them. And, again, I've never regretted doing things the way we did. I had no desire for the stress of a high-budget big production princess fantasy.
Very cool. I find subjective requirements to be highly selective. As I mentioned, for my current wife, it was just an expensive engagement ring that says "you're priceless to me" but she didn't need much re: the actual wedding either. We spent what little we did mostly because we're in a position to, and it made it interesting for her kids. It's funny what hurts some people's feelings and what doesn't. Frankly, to me it seems almost random sometimes.
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06-07-2017, 08:02 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(06-07-2017 03:43 PM)Dworkin Wrote:  Hi,

37 years ago we married in the registry with two witnesses (apart from our daughter). We had a reception for the five of us in McDonalds. One of those witnesses died a few years back. We are now grandparents. Time passes.

I have been a very lucky guy. Smile Thank God I went into that pub on that friday night and argued with my soon to be wife, who I can hear in the next room. Coming to bed soon.

D.

My woman now is the first gal in my fifty years I've ever felt comfortable with saying "yes, dear."

You just know when someone has your best interests at heart even when it doesn't sound like it.

I love you, Coco.
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09-07-2017, 10:15 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
To me, monogamy is one of those weird things "you people" do that I don't understand. It's a lot like being in love I guess. I just look at the person and go "WTF". Never had a BF or GF or anything of the sort. Don't want one either. And no I am not Asexual.
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09-07-2017, 11:11 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
Life without love ... <shivers>
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09-07-2017, 01:13 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(09-07-2017 11:11 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  Life without love ... <shivers>

Helps with singin' the blues though...

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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09-07-2017, 03:58 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(09-07-2017 01:13 PM)morondog Wrote:  
(09-07-2017 11:11 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  Life without love ... <shivers>

Helps with singin' the blues though...

It's been my experience that it's love that gives you the blues -- both good and bad.
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10-07-2017, 02:48 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(09-07-2017 10:15 AM)BlkFnx Wrote:  To me, monogamy is one of those weird things "you people" do that I don't understand. It's a lot like being in love I guess. I just look at the person and go "WTF". Never had a BF or GF or anything of the sort. Don't want one either. And no I am not Asexual.
"you people" ? What are you an extraterrestrial ?

I don't want Fop, goddamn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!
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10-07-2017, 04:36 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(10-07-2017 02:48 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  
(09-07-2017 10:15 AM)BlkFnx Wrote:  To me, monogamy is one of those weird things "you people" do that I don't understand. It's a lot like being in love I guess. I just look at the person and go "WTF". Never had a BF or GF or anything of the sort. Don't want one either. And no I am not Asexual.
"you people" ? What are you an extraterrestrial ?
thats why i put it in quotes. I mean people who try practice monogamy. I don't understand it at all.
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10-07-2017, 04:43 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(10-07-2017 04:36 AM)BlkFnx Wrote:  
(10-07-2017 02:48 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  "you people" ? What are you an extraterrestrial ?
thats why i put it in quotes. I mean people who try practice monogamy. I don't understand it at all.
What about it don't you understand? I'm just not sure that I'm following what you're trying to say/implying here.

If you don't date, thats cool, in fact it's pretty much the same "idea" as monogamy, in that instead of dating just one person....you are dating no people, which is cool if that's what you want to do.

Monogamy simply means that when you do "date", you stick with the one person and see how it goes. That can range from whilst you're in the dating phase, just to see how it goes, and if if doesnt work out, break up and move on, OR stick with them the whole time, because they are the one for you.

Some people choose to not do that, and just stick their things into other peoples things willy nilly, (or have their things have things stuck in them), and thats cool too, if it makes you happy. Personally, it's not for me, and even if it was, I'm not sure I'd have the time to date more than one person lol.

I don't want Fop, goddamn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!
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10-07-2017, 06:50 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(10-07-2017 04:43 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  
(10-07-2017 04:36 AM)BlkFnx Wrote:  thats why i put it in quotes. I mean people who try practice monogamy. I don't understand it at all.
What about it don't you understand? I'm just not sure that I'm following what you're trying to say/implying here.

If you don't date, thats cool, in fact it's pretty much the same "idea" as monogamy, in that instead of dating just one person....you are dating no people, which is cool if that's what you want to do.

Monogamy simply means that when you do "date", you stick with the one person and see how it goes. That can range from whilst you're in the dating phase, just to see how it goes, and if if doesnt work out, break up and move on, OR stick with them the whole time, because they are the one for you.

Some people choose to not do that, and just stick their things into other peoples things willy nilly, (or have their things have things stuck in them), and thats cool too, if it makes you happy. Personally, it's not for me, and even if it was, I'm not sure I'd have the time to date more than one person lol.

I have friends, we "hang out", and sometimes we have sex. The idea of "dating" is bizarre to me. I grok loving someone, but the idea of being "in love" and wanting to date them... Either I like someone or I don't, either I want to hang out with someone or I don't. Maybe we have sex, maybe we don't. Monogamy as far as I have observed it is nothing more than mutual slavery. If that's your deal than good on you, but I am incapable of understanding why someone would want something like that. I don't date at all, nor do I just stick it into anyone willy nilly (though the same could not be said of my younger years). Think more friendships with benefits than fuck buddies. No roses, no dates, just having a good time and maybe "having a good time".
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