What are your views on monogamy?
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19-04-2017, 10:44 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
A monorail is a train with one track.

A monopole is a theoretical magnet with only one pole.

I guess monogamy means you go fuck yourself...



Big Grin

(Better hide that from my SO..)

Heh

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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19-04-2017, 11:11 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
Strictly monogamous when I'm married. Total slut when I'm not.
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19-04-2017, 11:56 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
So, a little bit of lawyering here, hopefully to help the discussion:
There are two different issues here (in the currently vaguely agreed-upon view among those involved).
Some people love and bond with more than one person, and that's what's called polyamory. Their partners may or may not be polyamorous (shortened to poly), and they may or may not have any relationships with each other. This is becoming increasingly viewed as a sexual orientation.
Soft and hard swinging has nothing to do with love, and may involve both (all?) members of a couple. Individuals and couples and groups involved may also develop close friendships outside of the sexual relationship, and it's not uncommon for long-time partner couples to get together for barbecues and family game nights and all the other neighborly stuff that couples do with their friends, but then sometimes afterwards, they send the kids to bed (or get a sitter and go out) and then have sex with those friends. This is also euphemistically called "being in the lifestyle." This is considered a sexual preference. People in the lifestyle roundly reject fetishization of the experience (not fetishes; those are fine).

Polyamory and swinging really do not go together well--being poly doesn't make you more likely to enjoy swinging or maintaining a healthy relationship in which swinging is part of your sex life, and looking for love among swingers is going to be fruitless.

Okay, back to the discussion!
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19-04-2017, 11:57 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
Polyamory would make me uncomfortable. Like the way I feel when I'm taking a dump on someone else's toilet uncomfortable.

#sigh
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19-04-2017, 11:59 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
Well, there was sex, drugs and Rock'n Roll - followed by monogamous marriages.

It all had it's place and time. I wouldn't change any of it if I could do it over again.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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19-04-2017, 12:38 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 10:42 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(19-04-2017 10:26 AM)Larai19 Wrote:  So, polygamy...

Would I do it? Probably not.
...

Technically, if you're a straight female, polyandry might be more fitting.

Why is polygamy acceptable here in Malaysia yet polyandry is not?
Because women have more sense, that's why!


Anyway, monogamy (from google: the practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one [female, to be etymologically precise] partner) would be an example of a strategic relationship.

Which means, shared vision, shared goals, shared financial information, etc.

Ain't got time for that.

Girl_nails

And the only thing I have time for...go figure. Tongue

Turns out that longer I'm with my wife the more I treasure our relationship, going on 28 years and I can't imagine not spending everyday with her. Different strokes for different folks.

Emotional support. Check.
Exciting sex life. Check.
Trust. Check.
Respect. Check.
Shared finances. Check.
Intellectual challenge. Double check.
Love. Triple check.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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19-04-2017, 12:45 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
I believe we are biologically predisposed to not be monogamous, and that monogamy was a relatively recent cultural adaption that directly opposes our natural sexual tendencies. I believe the version of sexual evolution that defines us as having spent the vast majority of our tribal pre history in egalitarian groups that shared everything from food to child raising responsibilities to mates is most likely the version that is closest to the truth. Thus, in an ideal world, we would not be chained to monogamy, so to speak.

That said, the realities of the modern world can't simply be ignored. Like it or not, we live in a property based society in which everything around us was built around the concept of a monogamous household. And even with a significant cultural shift, there are some factors that are beyond a simple shift in thinking, such as the prevalence of dangerous STDs in an overcrowded world. Statistics show that the more sex partners you have the more at risk you are for these regardless of whether or not you use protection. And it's a big issue in some less developed parts of the world where populations are being decimated by HIV.

At any rate, when I say that, despite my acceptance of alternatives to monogamy as being okay, I would still rather stick with one sex partner due to the above mentioned contextual realities of modern society, I'm basically just speaking hypothetically. My relationship exists for the kids at this point and my spouse is more like a roommate than a partner. At this point I'd be happy if I could remember what it feels like to be hugged. Sex is a distant memory, and the concept of having the time, opportunity, or state of mind to look elsewhere for it is a distant concern.

I've had two sex partners in my life. I would have been content staying monogamous with either if they actually liked me.

'Murican Canadian
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19-04-2017, 12:54 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
There is a difference between social and sexual monogamy.

If the male sticks around and shares a household with the female and their offspring (in order to afford slow maturing offspring sustenance and protection) it's social monogamy. It is not necessarily (and often not) sexual monogamy.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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19-04-2017, 12:54 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
It is certainly something to approach with great care, coming from a long monogamous relationship. What happens when you have all of these​ positive things for years, and then the sexual relationship just stops?
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19-04-2017, 01:00 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 12:54 PM)skyking Wrote:  It is certainly something to approach with great care, coming from a long monogamous relationship. What happens when you have all of these​ positive things for years, and then the sexual relationship just stops?

Sex is not the same as love. I guess if there is love, you find a way to satisfy your sex drive while continuing to treasure the love.

But - if the disappearance of sex is not linked to hormonal changes as we age, then there may not be love after all.

Ask a young person - sex is super important.

Ask an old person - sex is good but - meh.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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