What are your views on monogamy?
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19-04-2017, 01:02 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 12:45 PM)yakherder Wrote:  I believe we are biologically predisposed to not be monogamous, and that monogamy was a relatively recent cultural adaption that directly opposes our natural sexual tendencies. I believe the version of sexual evolution that defines us as having spent the vast majority of our tribal pre history in egalitarian groups that shared everything from food to child raising responsibilities to mates is most likely the version that is closest to the truth. Thus, in an ideal world, we would not be chained to monogamy, so to speak.

That said, the realities of the modern world can't simply be ignored. Like it or not, we live in a property based society in which everything around us was built around the concept of a monogamous household. And even with a significant cultural shift, there are some factors that are beyond a simple shift in thinking, such as the prevalence of dangerous STDs in an overcrowded world. Statistics show that the more sex partners you have the more at risk you are for these regardless of whether or not you use protection. And it's a big issue in some less developed parts of the world where populations are being decimated by HIV.

At any rate, when I say that, despite my acceptance of alternatives to monogamy as being okay, I would still rather stick with one sex partner due to the above mentioned contextual realities of modern society, I'm basically just speaking hypothetically. My relationship exists for the kids at this point and my spouse is more like a roommate than a partner. At this point I'd be happy if I could remember what it feels like to be hugged. Sex is a distant memory, and the concept of having the time, opportunity, or state of mind to look elsewhere for it is a distant concern.

I've had two sex partners in my life. I would have been content staying monogamous with either if they actually liked me.

Thank you for sharing! This definitely gives me some stuff to think about. Neither me or my husband got proper sex education because of being homeschooled and going to a Christian school. So, at 26 years old, I think I'll be using the internet soon to properly learn about STDs for the first time. Scary huh? Lol

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19-04-2017, 01:07 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 01:00 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(19-04-2017 12:54 PM)skyking Wrote:  It is certainly something to approach with great care, coming from a long monogamous relationship. What happens when you have all of these‚Äč positive things for years, and then the sexual relationship just stops?

Sex is not the same as love. I guess if there is love, you find a way to satisfy your sex drive while continuing to treasure the love.

But - if the disappearance of sex is not linked to hormonal changes as we age, then there may not be love after all.

Ask a young person - sex is super important.

Ask an old person - sex is good but - meh.

At 56, am I younger or older? Where's that line?
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19-04-2017, 01:14 PM
What are your views on monogamy?
I would get Jelly after a swinging night.
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19-04-2017, 01:16 PM
What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 11:57 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Polyamory would make me uncomfortable. Like the way I feel when I'm taking a dump on someone else's toilet uncomfortable.


I love the way you put things.
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19-04-2017, 01:42 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 01:14 PM)KUSA Wrote:  I would get Jelly after a swinging night.

I go back and forth. Sometimes I think I'd be super jealous and other times I think I'd be fine.

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their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
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19-04-2017, 01:45 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 01:42 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  
(19-04-2017 01:14 PM)KUSA Wrote:  I would get Jelly after a swinging night.

I go back and forth. Sometimes I think I'd be super jealous and other times I think I'd be fine.

I just think that emotions get too hectic. That's why if I were to do the multiple sex partners thing I'd do it outside of a relationship. Not if I'm with someone. That's how people get shot.

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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19-04-2017, 02:00 PM (This post was last modified: 19-04-2017 02:17 PM by KUSA.)
What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 01:42 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  
(19-04-2017 01:14 PM)KUSA Wrote:  I would get Jelly after a swinging night.

I go back and forth. Sometimes I think I'd be super jealous and other times I think I'd be fine.


You would be fine when you are horny but get jelly afterwards.

I have known couples that did this and it never worked out well. Someone always got upset. My marriage is more important to me than a nut.
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19-04-2017, 02:11 PM (This post was last modified: 19-04-2017 02:24 PM by LadyWallFlower.)
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 02:00 PM)KUSA Wrote:  
(19-04-2017 01:42 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  I go back and forth. Sometimes I think I'd be super jealous and other times I think I'd be fine.


You would be fine when you are horny but get jelly afterwards.

I have known couples that did this and it never worked out well. Someone always got upset. My marriage is more important to me than nut.

Mine is important to me too. I'm a very open minded person, but I can't argue with facts I've just read about STDs. Also, I just don't think Id be true to myself to have an open relationship. I'm really just afraid that my husband will be disappointed or unsatisfied with my conclusion on this subject. He would never pressure me to do anything I don't want to do, but I think he wants that more than I do.

EDIT: sorry for getting personal, but obviously this is not a topic I can talk to friends or family with. Lol

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their passions a quotation."
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19-04-2017, 02:24 PM
What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 02:11 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  Mine is important to me too. I'm a very open minded person, but I can't argue with facts I've just read about STDs. Also, I just don't think Id be true to myself to have an open relationship. I'm really just afraid that my husband will be disappointed or unsatisfied with my conclusion on this subject. He would never pressure me to do anything I don't want to do, but I think he wants that more than I do.

I don't see anything morally wrong with an open relationship but most people just can't handle the emotions afterwards.

I knew this couple where the wife wanted the husband to go off and have sex with other women and come home and then have sex with her. It just turned the wife on. This sounds like a dream come true for most men.

Eventually the wife became jealous even though it was her idea and for a while she enjoyed it. They divorced.

I have other examples but they all end the same.
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19-04-2017, 02:36 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 02:24 PM)KUSA Wrote:  
(19-04-2017 02:11 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  Mine is important to me too. I'm a very open minded person, but I can't argue with facts I've just read about STDs. Also, I just don't think Id be true to myself to have an open relationship. I'm really just afraid that my husband will be disappointed or unsatisfied with my conclusion on this subject. He would never pressure me to do anything I don't want to do, but I think he wants that more than I do.

I don't see anything morally wrong with an open relationship but most people just can't handle the emotions afterwards.

I knew this couple where the wife wanted the husband to go off and have sex with other women and come home and then have sex with her. It just turned the wife on. This sounds like a dream come true for most men.

Eventually the wife became jealous even though it was her idea and for a while she enjoyed it. They divorced.

I have other examples but they all end the same.

From what you can tell, do these examples all stem as a direct result from the open relationships? Could there have been other reasons for the divorces?

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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