What are your views on monogamy?
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19-04-2017, 02:42 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
For some reason, marrying a person is kinda like... dunno... like saying "that one is mine" and as much as I am invested in my partner, my partner is invested in me.
Doesn't mean I am not open for the occasional adventure if you know what I mean. As long as we are open about it and as long as we are both fine with it. Basically as long as it is purely sexual and we both agree, I don't mind.
Everybody wants to have fun. For a proper relationship with someone else... not so happy about that.

If I wasn't married, I would probably have multiple partners. But that would, very likely, be purely sexual for the most part.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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19-04-2017, 03:03 PM
What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 02:36 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  From what you can tell, do these examples all stem as a direct result from the open relationships? Could there have been other reasons for the divorces?

I have had deep conversations with some of them and the from what I can tell is that the emotions resulting from the hanky panky undermined everything else.

Every couple has problems. When you let something in the relationship that destroys the intimacy then everything else seems worse.

How do you think you would feel if you wondered if you partner enjoyed someone else more than you? I promise that the thought will enter your mind. Once you open Pandora's box it's open.
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19-04-2017, 03:13 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 03:03 PM)KUSA Wrote:  
(19-04-2017 02:36 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  From what you can tell, do these examples all stem as a direct result from the open relationships? Could there have been other reasons for the divorces?

I have had deep conversations with some of them and the from what I can tell is that the emotions resulting from the hanky panky undermined everything else.

Every couple has problems. When you let something in the relationship that destroys the intimacy then everything else seems worse.

How do you think you would feel if you wondered if you partner enjoyed someone else more than you? I promise that the thought will enter your mind. Once you open Pandora's box it's open.

Yeah, that would be difficult. Thanks for your input! I really appreciate it!

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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19-04-2017, 03:46 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
I have friends in open relationships, but I could never do it myself.
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19-04-2017, 04:16 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
One dog per owner.
That's it.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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19-04-2017, 04:42 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 12:38 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(19-04-2017 10:42 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Technically, if you're a straight female, polyandry might be more fitting.

Why is polygamy acceptable here in Malaysia yet polyandry is not?
Because women have more sense, that's why!


Anyway, monogamy (from google: the practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one [female, to be etymologically precise] partner) would be an example of a strategic relationship.

Which means, shared vision, shared goals, shared financial information, etc.

Ain't got time for that.

Girl_nails

And the only thing I have time for...go figure. Tongue

Turns out that longer I'm with my wife the more I treasure our relationship, going on 28 years and I can't imagine not spending everyday with her. Different strokes for different folks.

Emotional support. Check.
Exciting sex life. Check.
Trust. Check.
Respect. Check.
Shared finances. Check.
Intellectual challenge. Double check.
Love. Triple check.

Same here. I can't imagine anyone else in my life. It's been wonderful. My husband and I just get along with each other, what can I say.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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19-04-2017, 06:20 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
I don't have anything morally against non-monogamous relationships (involving serious partnerships, not casual dating). However, I personally couldn't handle the emotional complications. I'm kind of amazed that I ever achieved getting married, much less found a wonderful guy who still likes me after being together for 23 years, but somehow I did. I wouldn't want fucking to fuck that up.
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19-04-2017, 06:40 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
Yeah my wife gave me permission to fuck another woman and I did and it ended up a big mess but our marriage survived. I don't recommend it, to tell the truth. It's hard not to get carried away. For now on I'd rather keep it simple. If my wife steps out I don't want to know.
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19-04-2017, 06:44 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 10:01 AM)Thoreauvian Wrote:  
(19-04-2017 09:56 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  I'd like to hear your views on monogamy and open relationships.

Since I am an introvert, even one relationship is almost too much.

Undecided

> Ditto. Big Grin
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19-04-2017, 06:51 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
It should be whatever a couple is comfortable with.

Wife and I married only because of her insurance/retirement, her very uptight employment and my ability to leave her financially comfortable. Otherwise we were committed and knew we were together for the long haul.

We often spent nights apart due to our work. We never checked on each other. Neither of us would ever embarrass the other with a visible affair. Neither of us know if the other ever had an afair but that was never an important issue with us. In over 30 years we have never spent one minute total arguing about anything.

Most couples, IMO (and I am a Clinical Psychologist), have trouble with an open relationship but I do know of many who have done quite well with some fun variants.
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