What are your views on monogamy?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
20-04-2017, 09:26 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(20-04-2017 09:16 AM)JesseB Wrote:  Nor have I seen an example of someone who hasn't/wouldn't cheat.

Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of ... never mind. Sex is kinda icky and messy and gross. It's kind of like when I'm taking a shit, the fewer people exposed to it the better for the sake of humanity. Was it Grassy Tyson who said something like God put an amusement park in the middle of a sewer system?

#sigh
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like GirlyMan's post
20-04-2017, 09:44 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(20-04-2017 09:26 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Was it Grassy Tyson who said something like God put an amusement park in the middle of a sewer system?
It's an old joke, how do you know the human body was designed by a civil engineer... No one else puts a sewer line through a recreational area.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Missiletowe's post
20-04-2017, 09:48 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(20-04-2017 09:16 AM)JesseB Wrote:  I've never seen it. Not once. People seem to love the checkbook of the one's they are with, or how hot their bodies are, things like that. I've never seen an example of someone actually loving another person and choosing to be with them for life. Nor have I seen an example of someone who hasn't/wouldn't cheat. (outside of myself and that would suggest that it is possible there are others out there, however I've gotten tired of looking)

Ok, so probably very few of us then, but I'm one of those guys.

I've been with my wife, 11 years, (married for 4 years this year), and have never cheated on her and wouldn't generally. I find my wife attractive, but in multiple ways. Physically obviously, but I love her for just being herself. She likes a lot of stuff I don't and hates a lot of things I do like, but I find that interesting about her. We've been together since we were 18, so I've seen her change over the years (physically/mentally), and I love her more now than I ever have.

And as for loving her checkbook, man, if shes got one and hasn't told me lol. We're piss poor Laugh out load

Seriously though, I've made the commitment to be with her for life, and if we do end up breaking up for one reason or another, it won't be my decision.

I don't want Fop, goddamn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like OakTree500's post
20-04-2017, 10:03 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(20-04-2017 09:48 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  
(20-04-2017 09:16 AM)JesseB Wrote:  I've never seen it. Not once. People seem to love the checkbook of the one's they are with, or how hot their bodies are, things like that. I've never seen an example of someone actually loving another person and choosing to be with them for life. Nor have I seen an example of someone who hasn't/wouldn't cheat. (outside of myself and that would suggest that it is possible there are others out there, however I've gotten tired of looking)

Ok, so probably very few of us then, but I'm one of those guys.

I've been with my wife, 11 years, (married for 4 years this year), and have never cheated on her and wouldn't generally. I find my wife attractive, but in multiple ways. Physically obviously, but I love her for just being herself. She likes a lot of stuff I don't and hates a lot of things I do like, but I find that interesting about her. We've been together since we were 18, so I've seen her change over the years (physically/mentally), and I love her more now than I ever have.

And as for loving her checkbook, man, if shes got one and hasn't told me lol. We're piss poor Laugh out load

Seriously though, I've made the commitment to be with her for life, and if we do end up breaking up for one reason or another, it won't be my decision.
Quick add on to this:

As mentioned before, I'm married because it means something to me, and I know in a marriage or long term relationship, you have to make an effort. That's not to say it will 100% last, and it's OK if it doesn't, but you do have to really try. This is because my parents divorced when I was a young age, and I took it "constructively", I suppose is the word.

Re: my above quote - this mindset also come via my parents divorce, because my father WAS a serial cheater. Now, he's not like that any more, but he was when I was very young and has openly told me about it, after they broke up. It bothered me personally a lot that he would have done this A) to my mum but B) to me as well, effectively breaking up the family. Again, I look at things in a constructive manner and think, I wouldn't want that to happen to me, so why would I not fully commit to a person if they commit to me.

Very few of us about, it seems, but there are men who care about this sort of stuff.

I don't want Fop, goddamn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes OakTree500's post
20-04-2017, 10:15 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(20-04-2017 10:03 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  
(20-04-2017 09:48 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  Ok, so probably very few of us then, but I'm one of those guys.

I've been with my wife, 11 years, (married for 4 years this year), and have never cheated on her and wouldn't generally. I find my wife attractive, but in multiple ways. Physically obviously, but I love her for just being herself. She likes a lot of stuff I don't and hates a lot of things I do like, but I find that interesting about her. We've been together since we were 18, so I've seen her change over the years (physically/mentally), and I love her more now than I ever have.

And as for loving her checkbook, man, if shes got one and hasn't told me lol. We're piss poor Laugh out load

Seriously though, I've made the commitment to be with her for life, and if we do end up breaking up for one reason or another, it won't be my decision.
Quick add on to this:

As mentioned before, I'm married because it means something to me, and I know in a marriage or long term relationship, you have to make an effort. That's not to say it will 100% last, and it's OK if it doesn't, but you do have to really try. This is because my parents divorced when I was a young age, and I took it "constructively", I suppose is the word.

Re: my above quote - this mindset also come via my parents divorce, because my father WAS a serial cheater. Now, he's not like that any more, but he was when I was very young and has openly told me about it, after they broke up. It bothered me personally a lot that he would have done this A) to my mum but B) to me as well, effectively breaking up the family. Again, I look at things in a constructive manner and think, I wouldn't want that to happen to me, so why would I not fully commit to a person if they commit to me.

Very few of us about, it seems, but there are men who care about this sort of stuff.

I think there's a fair number of men who care...divorce can be a shattering experience for many kids, the kind of experience that does change your ideas about families and relationships. I'm fairly sure that my parents' divorce is one of the reasons I'm still married today (I've been married for 21 years at this point). I got a close-up view of a bad relationship and a lot of how-not-to lessons along the way.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like julep's post
20-04-2017, 10:22 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
I would never cheat. Ever. I'd rather kill myself.

I've only ever been part of monogamous relationships, but I've recently felt I would enjoy an open relationship if one was offered. It's very unlikely it ever will be, and I doubt anyone would be interested in me anyway. I've always been the "invisible" type. I'm amazed I managed to get married.

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Robvalue's post
20-04-2017, 10:45 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(20-04-2017 10:22 AM)Robvalue Wrote:  I've always been the "invisible" type. I'm amazed I managed to get married.

Maybe she just didn't notice you standing there Tongue

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Vera's post
20-04-2017, 11:06 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(19-04-2017 12:54 PM)skyking Wrote:  It is certainly something to approach with great care, coming from a long monogamous relationship. What happens when you have all of these​ positive things for years, and then the sexual relationship just stops?

My views on monogamy? I don't care one way or the other. Whatever makes "you" happy. That said, if you are in a relationship I suppose that you need to be on the same page as it most likely wouldn't be conducive if you weren't

To reference the quote above. I got married way to young (22) and was married for 4 years. After that I swore I wouldn't get married again. I had fun and slept with whoever I wanted with no expectations of a relationship developing. I met my current wife (been married for 17 years now) and something clicked between us and it just worked. Marriage is a dance you perfect over time so when you "can" find someone that will put up with your shit and also call you out on your shit I think you have found the one. I'm lucky with my wife as we have a very stable relationship.

As far as the sexual relationship you bring up goes. It's kind of like this. It "seems" when we were first married we fucked like bunnies every time we had a chance. 4 years later my daughter was born but that didn't make much difference. What I have found is as you get older sex becomes less of a desire. Don't get me wrong... I still want it and so does she. It just happens less than it used too and I'm fine with that. I remember when I was younger I wish they made a pill to make me not want sex. Imagine the things that I could have accomplished if I weren't thinking about getting laid every 5 mins??? Well.... I found the cure for that. Age. I'm 47 now and if we have sex twice a week I'm fine with that. If we go a couple weeks I start getting a bit antsy so we both feel the need. But living with the same person for so long sex doesn't seem to play as big of a role as it used too and I'm fine with that.

I remember vividly the day it happened. My wife came in one night and asked "are we doing anything tonight?" I was watching a show at the time and paused and said... "I'm kind of into this show right now". I immediately said "what the fuck did I just say???". Holy fuck... is this what getting older is?

I get to decide what my life looks like, not the other way around.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like RearViewMirror's post
20-04-2017, 01:27 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
I love this!

<<Marriage is a dance you perfect over time >>

Yup, that is how I have always felt about it. Monogamy works for me. My husband and I have been with each other since we were 17, married 4 years later, three kids. He is the only person I have ever had sex with and the mere thought of somebody else touching me intimately makes me physically ill. We are both 63 years old, now.

I, too, am a private person...and so is he. I doubt that I would remarry if he should die before me..but I hope he remarries after I die. I have sworn my children to commit order to the chaos that is their dad's style before another woman comes to be with him. I struggle against it all the time, but when gone...gawd, it is anybody's guess what the house will look like!

As for others; "as it harms none, do as ye please" but that's a tricky one, isn't it? I would never want my kids to be swingers or in a polygamous relationship. I think there is too much potential for heartache. Is there confusion when children grow older and wiser with swingers for parents? Do most parents curtail such activity during the rearing of children years and pick up again when the nest is empty?

I don't know; different styles for different people, I guess.

-Jeanne

"The Ox is slow, but the Earth is patient."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Jeanne's post
20-04-2017, 02:11 PM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
I think monogamy is most likely not the way our species is meant to mate, at least I don't think it reflects our natural desires. But from a societal standpoint, even leaving honesty and other issues of emotional attachment and morality aside, I can certainly understand the benefit of monogamy if not marriage outright. Passing on of property upon death, next of kin status, provable parentage, etc. If everybody just slept around all the time (especially going back to the days before adequate birth control) I would imagine the population would rise even faster than it already does.

So is monogamy what comes most naturally and is most in line with our desires and instincts? Probably not. I don't think at our core we're a "mate for life" species. But is is the best option in a cultural/societal sense? Quite possibly.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Mr. Boston's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: