What are your views on monogamy?
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21-04-2017, 03:47 PM
What are your views on monogamy?
(21-04-2017 03:33 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I must say, I'm pretty impressed by you monogamous atheist gentlemen.

I am monogamous for several reasons including but not limited to the following.

- I value my relationship (marriage) much more than I value a cheap thrill.

- I have been cheated on and know how it feels. It made me feel like a worthless piece of garbage.

- Even though I am as dirty minded as most men are, I value intimacy in a relationship over just having an orgasm.
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21-04-2017, 03:51 PM
What are your views on monogamy?
There is one more thing. My wife is psychic and somehow just knows everything. She would feel a disturbance in the force if I did something like that. Seriously.

- I don't want to be the next John Bobbitt. Smile
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21-04-2017, 06:29 PM (This post was last modified: 21-04-2017 06:41 PM by Ro3bert.)
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
What is the difference between monogamy, serial monogamy and polygamy?

If you really delve into the nature of the human species you will find that monogamy is the exception to the the rule with primates. I am not advocating for or against monogamy or polygamy but there are vary few species that practice true monogamy, certain geese fall into that category along with some other species. The primate Homo Sapiens Sapiens does not fall into that category.

I have been married three times so that entitles me to the serial monogamy class. Is that right or wrong? Just because I haven't remained true to my first wife does that absolve me from being some sort of polygamist? My father was married three times so he falls under that same umbrella. But does that mean we were/are polygamists.? I guess that makes me a serial polygamist.

So many other animals mate for only one season so why shouldn't Homo Sapiens Sapiens be subject to that same privilege?

Our cultures are far more complicated than other animals; some of it because there is much confusion about status. For instance Donald Trump is an alpha male in a large pond and so he feels justified in "grabbing pussy" while other males with high social standing are jealous but have to accede due to their lesser standing in the social order. There are lesser alpha males in smaller ponds that allow them certain privileges that lesser males are not allowed: big frog in as small pond.

PS I've been married to the same woman for 40+ years now and haven't "cheated" on her, don't know about her (she was a flight attendant flying around the world) and gone from home for sometimes a week at a time.

Well, I guess I've ranted enough.

Today is the best day of my life and tomorrow will be even better.
Robert himself
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21-04-2017, 07:05 PM
What are your views on monogamy?
I practice serial monogamy then.

As to the mating part, I don't mate anymore as I had my nuts clipped. I just want the companionship and pretend mating.
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22-04-2017, 12:49 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(21-04-2017 06:29 PM)Ro3bert Wrote:  What is the difference between monogamy, serial monogamy and polygamy?

If you really delve into the nature of the human species you will find that monogamy is the exception to the the rule with primates. I am not advocating for or against monogamy or polygamy but there are vary few species that practice true monogamy, certain geese fall into that category along with some other species. The primate Homo Sapiens Sapiens does not fall into that category.

I have been married three times so that entitles me to the serial monogamy class. Is that right or wrong? Just because I haven't remained true to my first wife does that absolve me from being some sort of polygamist? My father was married three times so he falls under that same umbrella. But does that mean we were/are polygamists.? I guess that makes me a serial polygamist.

So many other animals mate for only one season so why shouldn't Homo Sapiens Sapiens be subject to that same privilege?

Our cultures are far more complicated than other animals; some of it because there is much confusion about status. For instance Donald Trump is an alpha male in a large pond and so he feels justified in "grabbing pussy" while other males with high social standing are jealous but have to accede due to their lesser standing in the social order. There are lesser alpha males in smaller ponds that allow them certain privileges that lesser males are not allowed: big frog in as small pond.

PS I've been married to the same woman for 40+ years now and haven't "cheated" on her, don't know about her (she was a flight attendant flying around the world) and gone from home for sometimes a week at a time.

Well, I guess I've ranted enough.

I think the only rights and wrongs when it comes to relationships are about honesty and consent.

Personally I value companionship, love and affection over sex any day.

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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22-04-2017, 01:25 AM (This post was last modified: 22-04-2017 01:29 AM by JesseB.)
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(20-04-2017 10:24 PM)WillHopp Wrote:  I have never cheated on anyone. Ever. I feel sorry for those who do and those who can't believe no one does.

I've been with like a few women (idk prolly a lot of women, like 10 or 12 I think). I'm only interested in committed relationships, I don't sleep with anyone unless the expectation is a committed relationship, and I'm generally pretty slow to fuck anyone. I've had many times I was basically told we were gonna have sex or break up, and I just broke up with them on the spot cause I didn't trust them yet... Not once have I been with a woman who wasn't fucking other guys on the side. I've also seen so much of it in other relationships (most of the time the guy was unaware that his wife was fucking other people), Eventually I had no real choice but to start assuming all women fuck whoever they want whenever they want and they don't care about relationships, they just use people as objects, tools or toys. That doesn't mean I think that's 100% true, only that its so common that it's far safer to assume it's this way. I don't like it and I don't want it to be so common.

I've known guys who cheat, I treat them like the worthless shits they are (Personal opinion, I'm ok with people who do poly but I hate anyone that cheats). But I've known FAR fewer guys that cheat than girls that cheat. I do think this is mostly a generational thing, how people are raised as children now, it is not inherently a gender related issue. It's prolly been the opposite at times where most guys would cheat and most women didn't, though I can't say for sure there's a lot of bullshit on the subject that isn't reliable. However I think currently the source is just really shitty parenting that's been going on for far too long.

You can pitty me all you want, I can pitty myself all I want. Pity isn't going to become a woman who won't cheat though. And to all the women who really don't cheat, I got nothing but respect for all of you, same for any man who doesn't cheat. I'll admit I've had a lot of shit people in my life, maybe the real problem is I'm just bad at picking partners for myself. Someone pretends to like me I want to believe them so maybe I miss the signs that they are a worthless cheater. Who know's. I'm just sick of it though.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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22-04-2017, 01:30 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(22-04-2017 12:49 AM)Robvalue Wrote:  
(21-04-2017 06:29 PM)Ro3bert Wrote:  What is the difference between monogamy, serial monogamy and polygamy?

If you really delve into the nature of the human species you will find that monogamy is the exception to the the rule with primates. I am not advocating for or against monogamy or polygamy but there are vary few species that practice true monogamy, certain geese fall into that category along with some other species. The primate Homo Sapiens Sapiens does not fall into that category.

I have been married three times so that entitles me to the serial monogamy class. Is that right or wrong? Just because I haven't remained true to my first wife does that absolve me from being some sort of polygamist? My father was married three times so he falls under that same umbrella. But does that mean we were/are polygamists.? I guess that makes me a serial polygamist.

So many other animals mate for only one season so why shouldn't Homo Sapiens Sapiens be subject to that same privilege?

Our cultures are far more complicated than other animals; some of it because there is much confusion about status. For instance Donald Trump is an alpha male in a large pond and so he feels justified in "grabbing pussy" while other males with high social standing are jealous but have to accede due to their lesser standing in the social order. There are lesser alpha males in smaller ponds that allow them certain privileges that lesser males are not allowed: big frog in as small pond.

PS I've been married to the same woman for 40+ years now and haven't "cheated" on her, don't know about her (she was a flight attendant flying around the world) and gone from home for sometimes a week at a time.

Well, I guess I've ranted enough.

I think the only rights and wrongs when it comes to relationships are about honesty and consent.

Personally I value companionship, love and affection over sex any day.

Me too. Too bad that's so hard to find eh?

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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22-04-2017, 01:36 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(21-04-2017 03:33 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I must say, I'm pretty impressed by you monogamous atheist gentlemen. Very impressed indeed. I've know quite a few men and women who were rather....oh, shall we say.... happy to spread their seed and let their viginas be available to others at the drop of a hat. Many, if not most of them were religious.

I knew a girl in college who had sex with a few hundred men and later became a born again christian. Then she drove everyone nuts with her holier than thou routine and later condemned gay people who were having sex and dying of aids in the 80's and 90's. What a twit.

I think it's telling that atheists have lower divorce rates than theists. Sex isn't sanctified by a god or a church to an atheist. It's simply a natural part of life. I think theists get married to have sex and then realize they're not experienced and maybe go outside of the marriage to experiment with other partners. I donno. But theists seem to have an odd view of sex and monogamy.

>.> I value monogamy because dating sucks. People are confusing as fuck and scary. I just wanna find one person I like being around and feel safe with and can trust will be there with me. And in return I offer the same. No uncertainty, no more dating, no rejection, no wondering if they are gonna flip out over something you say.

I do/have done some crazy shit, but I'd rather be quite fucking boring. Have a simple life, not work too hard, spend tons of time raising my child/children, be there with my wife. Honestly, being a father is far more important to me than being a husband, but I'd like to be both, and be good at both. I sure as hell put in the effort when I'm with someone.

I've really never had a family (at least not one that made me feel I was part of a family), I want that.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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22-04-2017, 03:04 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(20-04-2017 01:05 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(20-04-2017 12:21 AM)JesseB Wrote:  I could be just fine with Poly but.... It boils down to the same problem, I don't think anyone could be loyal to another person or relationship, the second they get a chance to fuck a hottie they'll do it.

Nah, if you love the one you're with you don't do that shit.

I know. And I know that mean's I've never been loved by anyone I have been with. I am quite aware of this.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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22-04-2017, 03:11 AM
RE: What are your views on monogamy?
(20-04-2017 09:16 AM)JesseB Wrote:  
(20-04-2017 01:05 AM)morondog Wrote:  Nah, if you love the one you're with you don't do that shit.

I've never seen it. Not once. People seem to love the checkbook of the one's they are with, or how hot their bodies are, things like that. I've never seen an example of someone actually loving another person and choosing to be with them for life. Nor have I seen an example of someone who hasn't/wouldn't cheat. (outside of myself and that would suggest that it is possible there are others out there, however I've gotten tired of looking)

Well, my parents are an example. Married in 1958 and utterly dedicated to each other. Although, in truth, I wouldn't know if either had strayed early on.

I've had enough heart-to-hearts with friends and acquaintances, male and female, to know that cheating is the default.

I am certain about only 2 guys, both Dutch, who have not strayed.
And one of those, with his partner since childhood, didn't even need a marriage contract.

(21-04-2017 03:33 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I must say, I'm pretty impressed by you monogamous atheist gentlemen. Very impressed indeed.
...

So am I.

And you can add me to that list. Although, unlike those who profess love, affection and stuff, for me it's about breach of contract.

Social contracts can be renegotiated but not broken.

Of course, there's a bit of interpretation regarding "cheating". My ex (for 14 years) would consider my pathological flirting to be cheating but I wouldn't.

I would consider her numerous sexual affairs to be cheating be she called that "entertainment".

Not that I'm bitter. I'm over it. Really, I am.

Weeping

(22-04-2017 01:25 AM)JesseB Wrote:  ...
I've been with like a few women (idk prolly a lot of women, like 10 or 12 I think). ...

OK. You beat me, there.

I've only managed 10... Blush

... in three hours.

But they were small ones in the Philippines so it probably only counts as 5.

Angel

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