What negative experiences have you had with Christians?
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08-02-2016, 07:13 PM
RE: What negative experiences have you had with Christians?
(08-02-2016 06:49 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(08-02-2016 09:09 AM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  Anger is a part of who I am. Much less now, but still present given the right stimuli.

I cannot be angered. I will not allow it. I don't like me when I'm angry.

(08-02-2016 09:22 AM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  I got "help" before. I'd rather be dead than an fn zombie. Your "help" only hinders. I tried it years ago. I went to a state mental health clinic and was diagnosed erg generalized anxiety disorder and depression in one visit. I do not deny that I had a problem with anger at one point, but it was caused by certain events. The "medicines" only made me not care about anything at all, and caused restless leg syndrome, which is freakin aggravating.

Hey if God does for you what Seroquel and Wellbutrin do for me, more power to you.
Seraquil doesn't make you feel like a damn zombie? What about the restless leg sindrome crap? Just curious.

Peace
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08-02-2016, 07:26 PM
RE: What negative experiences have you had with Christians?
(08-02-2016 07:13 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  
(08-02-2016 06:49 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  I cannot be angered. I will not allow it. I don't like me when I'm angry.


Hey if God does for you what Seroquel and Wellbutrin do for me, more power to you.
Seraquil doesn't make you feel like a damn zombie? What about the restless leg sindrome crap? Just curious.

Peace

Nope. It does make me twitchy in the head and neck just before falling asleep, but the sleep is so vivid and sometimes lucid that I look forward to the twitches. I use it primarily for sleep. At lower doses like 50-100mg it works more like an antihistamine than an atypical antipsychotic. It is by far the most effective sleep aid I've found this side of barbituates.

#sigh
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08-02-2016, 07:29 PM
RE: What negative experiences have you had with Christians?
(08-02-2016 07:05 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(08-02-2016 07:01 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  It's understandable how some keep trying to equate a past state to how I am now, but it really is different. A lot different. I don't expect any here to just take my word for it because of your dispositions, but when I say my hatred, and pain and burden was lifted, it was. You can call it whatever you want, but it changed me wholly.

Most would probably think that one can't do that without drugs of some sort, but it happened to me.

Your brain, and its instinct for self-preservation, was the drug.
Well sure. Of course it was. I was actively changing all I could on my own, but couldn't just remove my self hatred, and the general anger and spite I felt. I was doing all I could to change many parts of my life. Really I have always been compassionate and passionate and held myself with very little worth. None of that really changed yet. Regardless of my efforts I couldn't change somethings about myself. As far as the anger was concerned; I was comfortable with it. To me it was a friend. I didn't abandon that, it was taken from me. Was my mind a part of this? Of course it was. Everything I am talking about is of the mind.

It's not like I saw some dude floating above the road and went on a magical journey. Everything that took place that day and since at times and varied degrees was produced for observation to me in my mind. No visible God figure, no audible sound waves. It all came from my mind, but I sure didn't put it there. It's not like I came to a self realization, as I had long since traversed all those roads repeatedly. I really don't know how to explain it very well. Consider your perception or disposition.
Now consider it changing wholly, instantly, permanently and without even thinking about it.

Generally self realization is a process of growth more than an instant miraculous, joyous, revealing event.

At least in my experience.
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08-02-2016, 07:30 PM
RE: What negative experiences have you had with Christians?
(08-02-2016 07:26 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(08-02-2016 07:13 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  Seraquil doesn't make you feel like a damn zombie? What about the restless leg sindrome crap? Just curious.

Peace

Nope. It does make me twitchy in the head and neck just before falling asleep, but the sleep is so vivid and sometimes lucid that I look forward to the twitches. I use it primarily for sleep. At lower doses like 50-100mg it works more like an antihistamine than an atypical antipsychotic. It is by far the most effective sleep aid I've found this side of barbituates.
Never really helped me with sleep.

Shhh
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08-02-2016, 07:32 PM
RE: What negative experiences have you had with Christians?
(08-02-2016 07:29 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  Now consider it changing wholly, instantly, permanently and without even thinking about it.

Generally self realization is a process of growth more than an instant miraculous, joyous, revealing event.

At least in my experience.

Perhaps instead of something divine it was an 'A-Ha' moment.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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08-02-2016, 07:50 PM
RE: What negative experiences have you had with Christians?
(08-02-2016 07:32 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(08-02-2016 07:29 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  Now consider it changing wholly, instantly, permanently and without even thinking about it.

Generally self realization is a process of growth more than an instant miraculous, joyous, revealing event.

At least in my experience.

Perhaps instead of something divine it was an 'A-Ha' moment.
Yeah, and believe me I tried repeatedly to rationalize it away as such. But given the sheer power of it, the revelations of it, and the continued verification of it over time, it can't justifiably be called such. I have and have had self realizations over the years before and after that first event. They just aren't even comparable in any way except they do both happen in the mind on some level. At the very least; that wouldn't explain the radio or the complete washing away of pain or sense of joy. Sure you can realize something and have an emotional reaction on some minor level, but not like this. And a breakdown would have caused worsening of my condition, not the alleviation of it.

I do apologize for confusing you with Julep (shit, that's not how you spell it, is it?). Please try not to take offense. I have always been bad with names, and didn't mean to make anyone seem as if they aren't an individual To me. I have always viewed things from an outside perspective, and it caused depersonalization. Couple that with the memory thing, and the general tension from my presence here, and yeah. Not excusing it, or asking you to. It was a mistake.

Peace
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08-02-2016, 07:53 PM
RE: What negative experiences have you had with Christians?
(08-02-2016 07:30 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  
(08-02-2016 07:26 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Nope. It does make me twitchy in the head and neck just before falling asleep, but the sleep is so vivid and sometimes lucid that I look forward to the twitches. I use it primarily for sleep. At lower doses like 50-100mg it works more like an antihistamine than an atypical antipsychotic. It is by far the most effective sleep aid I've found this side of barbituates.
Never really helped me with sleep.

Shhh

Others I know have said that as well. But you were likely on higher doses of 400-800mg than my 50-100mg. ... Oh, I forgot to mention I add a kicker of trazodone. Ain't technology grand?

#sigh
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08-02-2016, 07:55 PM
RE: What negative experiences have you had with Christians?
(08-02-2016 07:32 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(08-02-2016 07:29 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  Now consider it changing wholly, instantly, permanently and without even thinking about it.

Generally self realization is a process of growth more than an instant miraculous, joyous, revealing event.

At least in my experience.

Perhaps instead of something divine it was an 'A-Ha' moment.

Same thing.

#sigh
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08-02-2016, 08:12 PM
RE: What negative experiences have you had with Christians?
(08-02-2016 07:53 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(08-02-2016 07:30 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  Never really helped me with sleep.

Shhh

Others I know have said that as well. But you were likely on higher doses of 400-800mg than my 50-100mg. ... Oh, I forgot to mention I add a kicker of trazodone. Ain't technology grand?
No, I was only on like 150 mg I think, and an antidepressant. But it made me not care about anything and made me physically weaker than normal.
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08-02-2016, 08:38 PM
RE: What negative experiences have you had with Christians?
(08-02-2016 08:12 PM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  
(08-02-2016 07:53 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Others I know have said that as well. But you were likely on higher doses of 400-800mg than my 50-100mg. ... Oh, I forgot to mention I add a kicker of trazodone. Ain't technology grand?
No, I was only on like 150 mg I think, and an antidepressant. But it made me not care about anything and made me physically weaker than normal.

Weird. I take meds precisely because I want to care about things.

#sigh
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