What's Your Favourite Bible Verse?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
11-09-2012, 12:15 PM
RE: What's Your Favourite Bible Verse?
The original Hebrew was "Jesus wanked"... Y'know... what you do when you're feeling sad... but the Greek translators spilled coffee on the essential bit... that's why I always use the NASB translation of the Bible which has accurate reproductions of the coffee stains for the discerning customer, so that you can judge for yourself.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like morondog's post
11-09-2012, 12:18 PM
RE: What's Your Favourite Bible Verse?
(11-09-2012 12:15 PM)morondog Wrote:  The original Hebrew was "Jesus wanked"... Y'know... what you do when you're feeling sad... but the Greek translators spilled coffee on the essential bit... that's why I always use the NASB translation of the Bible which has accurate reproductions of the coffee stains for the discerning customer, so that you can judge for yourself.

That's apparently what Jesus meant when he said he would wash us white as snow. Confused

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Erxomai's post
11-09-2012, 12:25 PM
RE: What's Your Favourite Bible Verse?
(11-09-2012 10:57 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  My favotite is the proof that god was too dumb to know what Adam wanted in a wife, what would be appropriate, and that he was into bestiality : Genesis 2:18-20.
God made animals for Adam to check out, and name, ... "but none PROVED to be a suitable partner for the man".

God says to Adam "Fuck this animal, name it and give me a rating on 1-10 if you think it makes a good life partner"

Adam "Why do I have to do this" ? Is this one of those obeying tests you talked about yesterday. I'm thinking you're more of an idiot than a god. I disbelieve"
(rolls a spot check of 17 - Yep that's good enough to detect bullshit)

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Rahn127's post
11-09-2012, 12:27 PM
RE: What's Your Favourite Bible Verse?
I've posted this before but its such a beautifully written verse.

Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, verses 9-21: "...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the LORD did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu..." ["skip a bit, brother"]... "And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

Behold the power of the force!
[Image: fgYtjtY.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like FSM_scot's post
11-09-2012, 01:45 PM
RE: What's Your Favourite Bible Verse?
(11-09-2012 10:57 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  My favotite is the proof that god was too dumb to know what Adam wanted in a wife, what would be appropriate, and that he was into bestiality : Genesis 2:18-20.
God made animals for Adam to check out, and name, ... "but none PROVED to be a suitable partner for the man".

Priceless! Good call.

Question every angle, Study every angle, Research every angle
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
11-09-2012, 01:47 PM
RE: What's Your Favourite Bible Verse?
(11-09-2012 10:55 AM)frankiej Wrote:  Exact same thread on 2 forums? Hmm.... I like the second one though...

To see what different people come up with. I find it really interesting just what verses people pick. And if they will come up with the same one or find new and more interesting ones.

Question every angle, Study every angle, Research every angle
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
11-09-2012, 02:49 PM
RE: What's Your Favourite Bible Verse?
[Image: the-most-interesting-man-in-the-world-atheist-meme.jpg]

[Image: Untitled-2.png?_subject_uid=322943157&am...Y7Dzq4lJog]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Logica Humano's post
11-09-2012, 06:07 PM
RE: What's Your Favourite Bible Verse?
But the hand of the LORD was heavy upon them of Ashdod, and he destroyed them, and smote them with emerods. 1 Samuel 5:6

Nothing like a plague of hemorrhoids!

Member of the Cult of Reason

The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
-Baron d'Holbach-
Bitcion:1DNeQMswMdvx4xLPP6qNE7RkeTwXGC7Bzp
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
11-09-2012, 07:17 PM
RE: What's Your Favourite Bible Verse?
Y'all may be familiar with Romans 1:16-32, which is a pretty famous rant against pagans (taken by Christians, I'm sure, to also include us atheists), setting the tone for Paul's letter of outreach to (you guessed it) the budding church in Rome. It's used specifically and conspicuously by zealots to denounce homosexuals as evil sinners, though it really runs the whole gamut of denouncing folks Paul sees as immoral. It ends (v. 32) with a punctuated slam: "and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them."

My FAVORITE verses start with the very next sentence, the beginning of Romans 2 (vv. 1-3), which everybody seems to outright ignore...

Quote:1) Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. 2) And we know that the judgment of God rightly falls upon those who practice such things. 3) But do you suppose this, O man, when you pass judgment on those who practice such things and do the same yourself, that you will escape the judgment of God?

BAM. Read the fucking Bible, hypocrites.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like rook2004's post
11-09-2012, 10:15 PM
RE: What's Your Favourite Bible Verse?
Ezekiel 23:20
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

That was one freaky chick!! Laugh out load
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like SlipStitch's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: