What's your deal breaker in relationships?
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10-08-2014, 02:56 PM
RE: What's your deal breaker in relationships?
And I'll add the Christian plague that infects our nation (y el Mundo) really screws up how many people look at marriage, do marriage, and what they expect from marriage. It's no wonder that so many marriages fail, although I think it more has to do with people that should not have gotten married in the first place than marriage itself being a faulty paradigm.

A good number of people on this site, females (that I've noticed), got married relatively young and held to a religious view of marriage and ended up in a terrible situation. Luckily many have made their way out...but talking to them is definitely a good reference for this topic. I won't point out these people though, so you will have to find them yourself Wink.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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10-08-2014, 02:57 PM
RE: What's your deal breaker in relationships?
(10-08-2014 02:48 PM)WhiskeyDebates Wrote:  
(10-08-2014 01:51 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  just curious and you don't need to go into details but have you ever had someone betray your trust so much so, that you ended things?

I know it was not addressed to me but yes absolutely. Trust is a thing that once lost I can't get back for that person no matter how hard they try. there will always be that little voice at the back of my head reminding them of what they did.

That said other then some out and out unapproved infidelity it's very hard to lose my trust and I've only ever had to ghost one person from my life.

Anyway carry one! Smile
that would depend on if the person lied to me before they really knew me or before we were friends. also if they lied to me for fear of getting in trouble legally, they could get my trust back.

like we barely knew each other and I was suspicious that they were driving a stolen car.
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10-08-2014, 03:05 PM
RE: What's your deal breaker in relationships?
I was speaking purely in a romantic relationship, though I freely admit my way of thinking is slightly skewed. I can put up with just about anything because the stakes are not very high to me emotionally, having had and sadly lost the love of my life already.

I adapt in a relationship very well, I'm very fluid.
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10-08-2014, 04:08 PM
RE: What's your deal breaker in relationships?
(10-08-2014 01:51 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  
(10-08-2014 10:01 AM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  Dishonesty
just curious and you don't need to go into details but have you ever had someone betray your trust so much so, that you ended things?

No, thankfully.

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10-08-2014, 05:07 PM
RE: What's your deal breaker in relationships?
(10-08-2014 03:05 PM)WhiskeyDebates Wrote:  I was speaking purely in a romantic relationship, though I freely admit my way of thinking is slightly skewed. I can put up with just about anything because the stakes are not very high to me emotionally, having had and sadly lost the love of my life already.

I adapt in a relationship very well, I'm very fluid.

Hmmm. I don't adapt very well. I go into relationships kicking and screaming. Big Grin

Jk I'm not that afraid.

I'm sorry you lost the love of your life. Hugs Sad

The beauty of the heart, is the lasting beauty. - Rumi Heart
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10-08-2014, 05:14 PM
RE: What's your deal breaker in relationships?
(10-08-2014 02:48 PM)WhiskeyDebates Wrote:  
(10-08-2014 01:51 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  just curious and you don't need to go into details but have you ever had someone betray your trust so much so, that you ended things?

I know it was not addressed to me but yes absolutely. Trust is a thing that once lost I can't get back for that person no matter how hard they try. There will always be that little voice at the back of my head reminding them of what they did.

That said other then some out and out unapproved infidelity it's very hard to lose my trust and I've only ever had to ghost one person from my life.

Anyway carry one! Smile

I agree. I know myself, and it isn't that I'd hold a grudge towards the person, but I would always suspect them of lying. About other things. Dated enough of those types to last me a lifetime. Undecided

The beauty of the heart, is the lasting beauty. - Rumi Heart
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10-08-2014, 05:17 PM (This post was last modified: 10-08-2014 06:14 PM by WhiskeyDebates.)
RE: What's your deal breaker in relationships?
(10-08-2014 05:07 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  
(10-08-2014 03:05 PM)WhiskeyDebates Wrote:  I was speaking purely in a romantic relationship, though I freely admit my way of thinking is slightly skewed. I can put up with just about anything because the stakes are not very high to me emotionally, having had and sadly lost the love of my life already.

I adapt in a relationship very well, I'm very fluid.

Hmmm. I don't adapt very well. I go into relationships kicking and screaming. Big Grin

Jk I'm not that afraid.

I'm sorry you lost the love of your life. Hugs Sad

Gratitude Smile *hugs*
It was 10 years back this coming September and it set me on a singularly unique path in life. I love my life and the strange way I have lived it since. While death is never a grand companion to have at so young an age there is a kinda of rare wisdom (and madness to be honest haha) that comes with losing a wife and child before your 22. I've seen more countries on this goodly earth then most, done a lot of good and a lot of bad (for good reasons naturally) along the way.

It's been an interesting ride on this big blue marble Smile
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10-08-2014, 05:20 PM (This post was last modified: 10-08-2014 05:24 PM by WhiskeyDebates.)
RE: What's your deal breaker in relationships?
(10-08-2014 05:14 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  
(10-08-2014 02:48 PM)WhiskeyDebates Wrote:  I know it was not addressed to me but yes absolutely. Trust is a thing that once lost I can't get back for that person no matter how hard they try. There will always be that little voice at the back of my head reminding them of what they did.

That said other then some out and out unapproved infidelity it's very hard to lose my trust and I've only ever had to ghost one person from my life.

Anyway carry one! Smile

I agree. I know myself, and it isn't that I'd hold a grudge towards the person, but I would always suspect them of lying. About other things. Dated enough of those types to last me a lifetime. Undecided

Aye it's never a grudge I forgive very easy, life is a keenly short thing to hold people in a negative light but... when the tea cup shatters it does not rebuild it's self. It bears the the cracks forever and you're never not aware of them.
Love and trust is like that for me.
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10-08-2014, 06:48 PM
Re: RE: What's your deal breaker in relationships?
(10-08-2014 11:06 AM)Miss Suzanne Wrote:  For me, it's not being heard or interested in past a nod. For me, it's a real big deal since I don't have many people I feel like I can talk to and be heard. For example, the last guy I dated talked about him and the time I talked about me, he'd nod then go straight back into talking about work. He didn't ask me who Merasmus was when I said I was shooting him in TF2 (he's a PS3/4 guy, doesn't play PC at all)(and not being interested or supportive of my playing tf2 is a turn off too) or what pokemon I had (I met him preordering Y) or what games I had played in general. He just talked about himself, said he had a 3D tv and only seemed interested in what I said when I made fun of all the ass-shots in Metal Gear Rising. No, wait, he asked me what games I liked and we texted about games and he asked me, "is that all you do?" and he was the one that went into college for programing to one day be a game designer and worked as an IT guy?! How and how are you wanting to be a game designer or work with computers on a daily basis and not have any interest in what's going on in the PC world even if it's to compare it to Playstation or know what...I, I , oh I'm going off course but if the person doesn't care about what I like then it's a real deal breaker.

That and not being included, I guess I should say. What really got to me with my ex is that I could vent all sorts of things to him and he'd hardly tell me anything going on with him even if I had just had something happen to him (like a death in the family or a friend screw him over). He would casually say it happened (or I'd find out) and go on in conversation. He even said, "well I just want to have it be nodded and okay lets move on I don't get why it gets to you" and I even yelled once or twice, "because I don't know what the hell is going on with you." I even pointed out that I could tell him all sorts of stuff and he said, "and that's what you should do. I'm a good listener and you can tell me anything" but he couldn't? I guess it's like an inbalance of trust sort of thing? Like I'm not important enough to know how the other person feels or thinks when they expect me to tell them what I feel and think.

Other than that...oh, doing illegal shit, forcing their opinion on me and being an asshole. Marriage I can see either way. I can see the benifits of it but I see where it doesn't matter too. So really to me its either way just so long as I have my person.
*pats back* there there
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10-08-2014, 07:03 PM
RE: What's your deal breaker in relationships?
(10-08-2014 06:48 PM)rizzzzzzzzzzzz Wrote:  
(10-08-2014 11:06 AM)Miss Suzanne Wrote:  For me, it's not being heard or interested in past a nod. For me, it's a real big deal since I don't have many people I feel like I can talk to and be heard. For example, the last guy I dated talked about him and the time I talked about me, he'd nod then go straight back into talking about work. He didn't ask me who Merasmus was when I said I was shooting him in TF2 (he's a PS3/4 guy, doesn't play PC at all)(and not being interested or supportive of my playing tf2 is a turn off too) or what pokemon I had (I met him preordering Y) or what games I had played in general. He just talked about himself, said he had a 3D tv and only seemed interested in what I said when I made fun of all the ass-shots in Metal Gear Rising. No, wait, he asked me what games I liked and we texted about games and he asked me, "is that all you do?" and he was the one that went into college for programing to one day be a game designer and worked as an IT guy?! How and how are you wanting to be a game designer or work with computers on a daily basis and not have any interest in what's going on in the PC world even if it's to compare it to Playstation or know what...I, I , oh I'm going off course but if the person doesn't care about what I like then it's a real deal breaker.

That and not being included, I guess I should say. What really got to me with my ex is that I could vent all sorts of things to him and he'd hardly tell me anything going on with him even if I had just had something happen to him (like a death in the family or a friend screw him over). He would casually say it happened (or I'd find out) and go on in conversation. He even said, "well I just want to have it be nodded and okay lets move on I don't get why it gets to you" and I even yelled once or twice, "because I don't know what the hell is going on with you." I even pointed out that I could tell him all sorts of stuff and he said, "and that's what you should do. I'm a good listener and you can tell me anything" but he couldn't? I guess it's like an inbalance of trust sort of thing? Like I'm not important enough to know how the other person feels or thinks when they expect me to tell them what I feel and think.

Other than that...oh, doing illegal shit, forcing their opinion on me and being an asshole. Marriage I can see either way. I can see the benifits of it but I see where it doesn't matter too. So really to me its either way just so long as I have my person.
*pats back* there there
Thanks, I needed that *sniff sniff*

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