What the hell do I do?

[PsychoAmer.]

I'm 16 and my parents are insanely religious; cult-like. They are expecting me to get baptized; usually it happens before even this age. If I don't my life will be the closest anyone will ever get to hell. I have been an atheist for years now though and just don't know if I can bullshit this anymore.

[Aseptic Skeptic]

I'll give you the same advice that is generally given to everyone in your situation. Come out and make your stand for atheism only when doing so won't cause you harm. Don't lose your job over your beliefs, don't lose your home over your beliefs, don't exist in metaphorical hell for your beliefs.

how bad can it be? So you get baptized. So you sit in a pew for a few hours a month for the next few years. So what?

Suck it up, keep the peace, and when you're solid enough that you are ready to move out and start your own adult life in your own home out from under your parents' roof and your parents' rules, then do what you want.

Martyrdom never helps the martyrs. Don't martyr yourself over this; it won't help you at all.

[PsychoAmer.]

I am about to break. I'm seriously afraid of going awol. I have been already going through mental hell with this for years. I am subjected to hatred on an extreme level daily. I honestly feel like I'm going to have a mental break down at any moment; I have come really close. I'm living with the thought that even it I do bs my way through high school, then I gotta do it through college to in able to afford it, and then after those 7 years of hell I tell them I'm an atheist and they disown me. They have already said they will (they did to my sister). I don't think I can serve 7 more years of this sentence.

[Aseptic Skeptic]

No, you're actually not about to break.

Ask yourself, what is the alternative? Get disowned tomorrow and end up in foster care? Sure that's extreme, I know, but really, what is the alternative? How much veritable hell will you endure? Will is cost you your college degree if they disown you? Will you end up with a future working for $8/hour living in a dumpy trailer instead of having a nice job and a good home? I'm still being extreme; it's still possible to go to college while not living at home if you're determined.

Figure out what's the worst that will (not could) happen and weigh your odds. What happened with your sister? The answer could be a good way to measure what might happen to you.

But I will say this, even though you aren't going to want to hear it (I have way more experience with 16-year-olds than I ever want to admit). You think it's unbearable. You think you're going insane. You think you'll have a mental break down. You're wrong. It always amazes me what a black-and-white world teenagers live in and how everything in their lives is always extremely, well, extreme. I'm not trying to pick on you. I just want to help share some perspective that might benefit you.

Your actual brain is physically not developed. According to medical science, the human brain sin't finished growing and developing until we're in our early 20's. Not insulting you, it's just medical fact, so deal with it. This is mainly the reason why everything seems so extreme to people your age. This, and the lack of real lifetime experiences to put things into perspective.

You don't know me and you have no reason to trust me, but I don't know you and I have no reason to deceive you, so we're even. So, if you're willing, take what I've said to heart, or better yet, research it a bit and you'll see that I'm not making it up, be skeptical (I always am) and find this out for yourself.

Why?

Because all this extreme suffering you think you're enduring now is really not as extreme as you think. Learn to blow it off. Learn to deal with it without focusing on the extremity of the issue but instead on the reality of the issue and the reality of the alternative which is no-doubt much worse - and most importantly, on the reality of the benefits of sticking it out. If you can do that, and I know that you're biologically impaired for at least the next 6 years, give or take, so it's hard to do, but if you can do it, you'll find that it's not really as bad as you think it is.

I'm not trying to belittle the challenges you're facing. I'm sure they are real challenges and really hard for you to deal with. I don't doubt that a bit. All I am saying is that they're not as extreme as you think they are, and I've explained why.

Sorry if that's coming across as insulting. It's the plan truth, and it's truth I've shared with my teen-aged children who have come to grips with it and both have told me that knowing this stuff makes it much easier to deal with junk in their life.

Hopefully it will help you too.

[PsychoAmer.]

No, I don't find it offensive at all.

Maby I should've made this clearer before. I am not about to break just because of this. I have had mental breakdowns in the past. I am genetically susceptible to several mental problems. My head is screwed up; this is just what's the cherry on too. Tbe reason I am so concerned with this specific issue is because I'm worried about will happen with myself. I've been concerned I may just end it. Now, I know exactly what you are think dramatic depressed teen. This isn't the case. In fact, I am not sad at all. Not even close. My problem is the extremity of my nihilism weighed against the quality of my life. Since I was a young child I have had psychological issues, just like my dad (who killed himself). I think it derives itself from my deep understanding of things and me bwing unsettled with that (no, I'm not being pretentious nor trying to make myself to be some elitist, just giving you all the variables, as I have a 179 IQ, with my dad having an IQ of 171 - just trying to correlate things for you; don't put much stock in IQ scores anyways).

[Magoo]

If you don't believe in it, then it's just water over your head. Why get disowned from your family because of that? Just bite your lip and get through it until you are ready to come out, and you will be able to support yourself for college or whatever it is.

[aurora]

Join Mensa?

[Birdguy1979]

(03-01-2013 08:26 PM)PsychoAmer. Wrote:  I am about to break. I'm seriously afraid of going awol. I have been already going through mental hell with this for years. I am subjected to hatred on an extreme level daily. I honestly feel like I'm going to have a mental break down at any moment; I have come really close. I'm living with the thought that even it I do bs my way through high school, then I gotta do it through college to in able to afford it, and then after those 7 years of hell I tell them I'm an atheist and they disown me. They have already said they will (they did to my sister). I don't think I can serve 7 more years of this sentence.

Get yourself through college. I can't think of a bigger fuck you to them, than to use their money to get through school and move out. If you end up stopping at high school and can only make 10 dollars an hour, they will always rub your nose in it. They will tell you that your atheism is to blame. God won't let your effort pay off.

[That Icelandic]

I'll tell you what to do... tell them right out your an atheist, right to their faces. Trust me its theraputic. You can't just lead them on for years on end until u leave them. And if being threatened by their religulous attitudes give you mental trauma you need to tell someone who can help you. No one can force their ideas upon you. NO BODY.

[earmuffs]

(09-01-2013 04:38 PM)Magoo Wrote:  If you don't believe in it, then it's just water over your head. Why get disowned from your family because of that? Just bite your lip and get through it until you are ready to come out, and you will be able to support yourself for college or whatever it is.

This.