What to do now?

[PsychoAmer.]

(16-02-2013 08:09 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  

(16-02-2013 07:58 PM)PsychoAmer. Wrote:  All of family besides two cousins. My parents have been like this always. After my dad killed himself when I was 3 my mom married a bigger radical than herself.

These cousins, are they older? Have you talked to them about how you feel?

Yeah, low to mid 20's. And no, it's way too risky in this family.

[Full Circle]

(16-02-2013 08:11 PM)PsychoAmer. Wrote:  

(16-02-2013 08:06 PM)Chas Wrote:  The point is to live. You have many years of freedom after you leave their house, years to live, love life, truth, knowledge, and love. I can't really know what your life is like now, but I can assure you that you can get through it.

Oh that's another thing; love. The only girl I will ever be able to love is gone. Off to college far away. I don't even find other girls attractive anymore. I mean I really loved this girl.

Look, at your age (and I'm not dissing you in any way, shape or form) everything is life or death. It was for me too.
All I can say is "Betsy Davis". Real person, love of my life at 15. Then my parents moved us to another state. I was f@#*ing crushed. Next thing I can say is "Leigh Ann Williams". And then came... anyway you get the point. There will be many loves in your life. It just doesn't seem that way now.

[Full Circle]

(16-02-2013 08:12 PM)PsychoAmer. Wrote:  

(16-02-2013 08:09 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  These cousins, are they older? Have you talked to them about how you feel?

Yeah, low to mid 20's. And no, it's way too risky in this family.

Alright then. What is needed is a cooling off period. Your home life is difficult but not insurmountable. At your age you are financially stuck. You sound to me like you have a head on your shoulders, brainstorm a bit and come up with some ideas on how you can cope and endure. Maybe its talking to your mom in private in a calm and respectful way and helping her understand that you dream of going to college and studying to be a scientist. That you are growing up and you have many questions. Its normal. Just a thought.

[PsychoAmer.]

(16-02-2013 08:18 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  

(16-02-2013 08:11 PM)PsychoAmer. Wrote:  Oh that's another thing; love. The only girl I will ever be able to love is gone. Off to college far away. I don't even find other girls attractive anymore. I mean I really loved this girl.

Look, at your age (and I'm not dissing you in any way, shape or form) everything is life or death. It was for me too.
All I can say is "Betsy Davis". Real person, love of my life at 15. Then my parents moved us to another state. I was f@#*ing crushed. Next thing I can say is "Leigh Ann Williams". And then came... anyway you get the point. There will be many loves in your life. It just doesn't seem that way now.

Oh I completely understand what you mean. I dislike how young people think everything is life and death and absolute. It's just I'm not even sexually attracted to women anymore because her. I'm a 16 year old male; that's not normal, and it's not from a lack of Testosterone. I actually find all women unattractive now. I'm supposed to be living my life right now.

[bemore]

Ive been suicidal in the past dude and suffer from depression and whilst our circumstances leading up may be different I empathize with what you are going through. At the time I took a little bit of comfort from my misery in planning on how to do it and in a way I glorified it, it seemed like positive action and something that I had control of.

From my searching on the net about suicide I saw nearly every single person who attempted but failed was glad that they were alive and that at the time instilled a bit more fight in me.

Youve gotta dig deep to find your own strength to carry on and if you dig hard enough you will find it. You can list as many reasons why you should die and I can list as many reasons on why you should live. Whilst your depressed and life is throwing down blows you dont see the good in yourself, nor the good that life can offer.

[Full Circle]

(16-02-2013 08:29 PM)PsychoAmer. Wrote:  

(16-02-2013 08:18 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  Look, at your age (and I'm not dissing you in any way, shape or form) everything is life or death. It was for me too.
All I can say is "Betsy Davis". Real person, love of my life at 15. Then my parents moved us to another state. I was f@#*ing crushed. Next thing I can say is "Leigh Ann Williams". And then came... anyway you get the point. There will be many loves in your life. It just doesn't seem that way now.

Oh I completely understand what you mean. I dislike how young people think everything is life and death and absolute. It's just I'm not even sexually attracted to women anymore because her. I'm a 16 year old male; that's not normal, and it's not from a lack of Testosterone. I actually find all women unattractive now. I'm supposed to be living my life right now.

Wherever your sexuality takes you remember that you'll probably fall in love more than once.
As for your homelife, be respectful and bide your time. You'll be a full grown man soon enough and then you can live your life on your own terms. Its all part of growing up. Hang on, its a hell of a ride!

We'll talk again soon, if its OK with you I'm tired, long day. Anything else on your mind that can't wait till tomorrow?

[PsychoAmer.]

(16-02-2013 08:36 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  

(16-02-2013 08:29 PM)PsychoAmer. Wrote:  Oh I completely understand what you mean. I dislike how young people think everything is life and death and absolute. It's just I'm not even sexually attracted to women anymore because her. I'm a 16 year old male; that's not normal, and it's not from a lack of Testosterone. I actually find all women unattractive now. I'm supposed to be living my life right now.

Wherever your sexuality takes you remember that you'll probably fall in love more than once.
As for your homelife, be respectful and bide your time. You'll be a full grown man soon enough and then you can live your life on your own terms. Its all part of growing up. Hang on, its a hell of a ride!

We'll talk again soon, if its OK with you I'm tired, long day. Anything else on your mind that can't wait till tomorrow?

No, by all means go to sleep please. Thanks for taking the time. I'll be on tomorrow afternoon (5 hours of morning church! Yay!!!).

[Full Circle]

(16-02-2013 08:39 PM)PsychoAmer. Wrote:  

(16-02-2013 08:36 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  Wherever your sexuality takes you remember that you'll probably fall in love more than once.
As for your homelife, be respectful and bide your time. You'll be a full grown man soon enough and then you can live your life on your own terms. Its all part of growing up. Hang on, its a hell of a ride!

We'll talk again soon, if its OK with you I'm tired, long day. Anything else on your mind that can't wait till tomorrow?

No, by all means go to sleep please. Thanks for taking the time. I'll be on tomorrow afternoon (5 hours of morning church! Yay!!!).

Thanks for listening to what I have to say. I'll check this thread tomorrow afternoon. There are a lot of great people here, some are as young as 13 and others are dinosaurs, but this is a an interesting group. Stick around and I guarantee you you'll find much to think about and laugh about. Over and out.

[aurora]

I agree with FullCircle in the fact that you have to bide your time. You're 16 and it won't be long until you're 18 and will be able to move out of where you are and live with more like-minded people. 2 years isn't long at all although it may seem that way because you're unhappy. Maybe a part-time job would be a good idea.
Maybe in the meantime you could make a future plan for yourself - where you want to live; what subjects you require to become a physicist etc... do some research.

You're going to be okay. Things just don't happen overnight. Be patient.

[PsychoAmer.]

(16-02-2013 08:53 PM)aurora Wrote:  I agree with FullCircle in the fact that you have to bide your time. You're 16 and it won't be long until you're 18 and will be able to move out of where you are and live with more like-minded people. 2 years isn't long at all although it may seem that way because you're unhappy. Maybe a part-time job would be a good idea.
Maybe in the meantime you could make a future plan for yourself - where you want to live; what subjects you require to become a physicist etc... do some research.

You're going to be okay. Things just don't happen overnight. Be patient.

I've actually just applied to a ton of places for a job. We'll see.

Thanks. I have a plan for the future but it'll leave me with $100K's in student loan debt.