What to tell 7 year old in private school
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16-11-2011, 08:03 AM
What to tell 7 year old in private school
My 7 year old daughter asked last night "don't we pray before eating?".

Me = brought up Methodist - Atheist since college (20+ years)
Wife = non-practicing-but-still-clinging-to-creationism baptist
Kid#1 = 15, once in same private school, but now in public still believes I think
Kid#2 = 13, once in same private school, but now in public not much believing anymore
Kid#3 = my 7 year old

It was at a restaurant and I just get stumped when this stuff happens. My wife said "you pray at school huh?". And my daughter replied "uh-huh". And that was pretty much the end of it. Oh, and Kid #2 said "We do it at Thanksgiving...". Which is partially true because we're usually with neighbors and they do it.

Anyway, just sharing an awkward moment, one of many to come I'm sure.

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16-11-2011, 08:10 AM
RE: What to tell 7 year old in private school
(16-11-2011 08:03 AM)wllay Wrote:  My 7 year old daughter asked last night "don't we pray before eating?".
It was at a restaurant and I just get stumped when this stuff happens. My wife said "you pray at school huh?". And my daughter replied "uh-huh". And that was pretty much the end of it. Oh, and Kid #2 said "We do it at Thanksgiving...". Which is partially true because we're usually with neighbors and they do it.

It is your choice to send them to a private school with religious overtones, so I'm confused as to why you were so unprepared for this "awkward moment".

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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16-11-2011, 08:18 AM
RE: What to tell 7 year old in private school
Just tell your kid that you will say grace when Jesus ACTUALLY PAYS for the food. Big Grin

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16-11-2011, 08:46 AM
RE: What to tell 7 year old in private school
(16-11-2011 08:10 AM)Chas Wrote:  It is your choice to send them to a private school with religious overtones, so I'm confused as to why you were so unprepared for this "awkward moment".

Yeah, you're right, my choice. Doesn't make it any less awkward though. I made it through the older 2 going to the same school. I guess I'm banking on my ability to instill logic and intelligence to my children so they will figure it out for themselves like I did.

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16-11-2011, 08:47 AM
RE: What to tell 7 year old in private school
Different places, different customs.
If the person at the head of the table prays, bow your head and join in, or not, as you please. If the person whose table it is just says "Good appetite" and digs in, do that. If the head of the table raises a glass of wine and makes a toast, raise your glass, and drink, or not, as you please.
In all cases, wait politely and follow the custom to the extent your own convictions allow. If your convictions go counter to the customs of the host, don't sit at that table.

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16-11-2011, 06:11 PM
RE: What to tell 7 year old in private school
I'll probably have this situation arise... in fact, I know it's going to happen. My wife is the same, she clings to religion still. However, she is definitely not a strict religious and is one that believes in Evolution. She want our kids to go to private school because that's how she was brought up.

I made an agreement with her though. I told her I will never lie to my kids. When they eventually ask me about my own views, I will explain. I won't however try and convince them either way. I want them to come to their own conclusions. You know, that free-will stuff.

I am hoping they will be free thinkers. The great thing is that they would then be more religiously educated free thinkers that actually learned the scripture in a religious setting.

I would explain to your child why you don't if you think your wife is comfortable with that. I'm hoping my wife holds her end of the bargain up. I swear, she seems like she could be an Atheist, but is one of those people that cling to religion for the fear/hope of an afterlife.
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16-11-2011, 06:53 PM
RE: What to tell 7 year old in private school
(16-11-2011 06:11 PM)NoahsFarce Wrote:  I'll probably have this situation arise... in fact, I know it's going to happen. My wife is the same, she clings to religion still. However, she is definitely not a strict religious and is one that believes in Evolution. She want our kids to go to private school because that's how she was brought up.

I made an agreement with her though. I told her I will never lie to my kids. When they eventually ask me about my own views, I will explain. I won't however try and convince them either way. I want them to come to their own conclusions. You know, that free-will stuff.

I am hoping they will be free thinkers. The great thing is that they would then be more religiously educated free thinkers that actually learned the scripture in a religious setting.

I would explain to your child why you don't if you think your wife is comfortable with that. I'm hoping my wife holds her end of the bargain up. I swear, she seems like she could be an Atheist, but is one of those people that cling to religion for the fear/hope of an afterlife.

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17-11-2011, 06:51 AM
RE: What to tell 7 year old in private school
(16-11-2011 06:11 PM)NoahsFarce Wrote:  I'll probably have this situation arise... in fact, I know it's going to happen. My wife is the same, she clings to religion still. However, she is definitely not a strict religious and is one that believes in Evolution. She want our kids to go to private school because that's how she was brought up.

I made an agreement with her though. I told her I will never lie to my kids. When they eventually ask me about my own views, I will explain. I won't however try and convince them either way. I want them to come to their own conclusions. You know, that free-will stuff.

I am hoping they will be free thinkers. The great thing is that they would then be more religiously educated free thinkers that actually learned the scripture in a religious setting.

I would explain to your child why you don't if you think your wife is comfortable with that. I'm hoping my wife holds her end of the bargain up. I swear, she seems like she could be an Atheist, but is one of those people that cling to religion for the fear/hope of an afterlife.

Man that's sounds exactly like me. My wife "believes" because she's afraid not to. Although she understands and recognizes evolution and other sciences as facts. She's really an Atheist in waiting but I'll let her come to that realization on her own.

We go to her families for holidays and they are very religious. During the dinner prayer I bow my head out of respect for them and their home. At my house, however, we don't pray nor would I ever whether my wife wanted to or not. I talk to my children about the sciences not religion. They've pretty much figured it our along with Santa Clause.
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17-11-2011, 07:10 AM
RE: What to tell 7 year old in private school
(17-11-2011 06:51 AM)free2011 Wrote:  Man that's sounds exactly like me. My wife "believes" because she's afraid not to. Although she understands and recognizes evolution and other sciences as facts. She's really an Atheist in waiting but I'll let her come to that realization on her own.

We go to her families for holidays and they are very religious. During the dinner prayer I bow my head out of respect for them and their home. At my house, however, we don't pray nor would I ever whether my wife wanted to or not. I talk to my children about the sciences not religion. They've pretty much figured it our along with Santa Clause.

I hope things go smoothly for me. We are just over a year into our marriage and have a 15mo and another on the way next year. I didn't admit to myself that I'm actually an Atheist until after our son and marriage. Her and I don't pray. I suppose she might, but it's not the "proper" way.

I don't know, even when I was a Catholic, I always felt uncomfortable praying before meals or after something good/bad happened in my life. I felt incredibly selfish the few times I did. I don't understand how these religious people can sit there and thank God for a feast while millions of "his children" are suffering/starving elsewhere.

And I always thought of the Bible as a story rather than a literal word of God. Needless to say, I was clinging to religion for dear life. Finally came to the realization that it was because of an irrational fear. Yes, I am still afraid of death. Who in their right mind wouldn't at least be a bit afraid? Life is good and I sincerely wouldn't mind living forever... imagine being alive for the moment when humans make contact with another intelligent civilization... I CAN HOPE RIGHT? At least now, I'm not afraid of death because of the fear of punishment for "sins".

Oh, I sort of went on an off-topic rant didn't I? Back on topic... I am the same way as you. I participate in religious activities around family and even go to Church on the holidays (they call us Easter Christians). In all honesty, I really don't feel fighting over it is necessary. My wife and her family aren't super religious to the point of offensiveness. They accept gay people and science. They don't believe that their God is a jealous God. So yea, I'm not going to argue with my wife to the point of ruining our wonderful marriage.

I have 0 doubts that my children will love and accept science as both their parents do as well regardless of our belief/unbelief system. They are growing up in America, not a third world country like my wife did. Just the fact that they are going to accept science is enough for me to be confident that they will be unbelievers by the time they grow up.
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17-11-2011, 07:17 AM
RE: What to tell 7 year old in private school
(17-11-2011 07:10 AM)NoahsFarce Wrote:  I have 0 doubts that my children will love and accept science as both their parents do as well regardless of our belief/unbelief system. They are growing up in America, not a third world country like my wife did. Just the fact that they are going to accept science is enough for me to be confident that they will be unbelievers by the time they grow up.

If you don't provide a clearer message for your children, then your certainty that they will love science and disavow religion is unwarranted. The U.S. is the most religious of the western nations, so your faith that growing up there is enough is misguided.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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