What was the las straw before you deconverted?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
31-03-2016, 11:04 AM
RE: What was the las straw before you deconverted?
As with most it was a life time of questions and questionable connections. And a lot lead up to the point but I remember the last night I decide I truly didn't believe anymore.

The last straw was having my heart being broken by a girl I loved. It was more or less a cat fish. We would talk on-line for hours, I felt like we connected on many levels. We would even call each other to talk about our days. But I never knew what she looked like. When I asked for a description I would only get vague answers, She had seen me because I owned a webcam. But she didn't want to buy one. I even offered to buy one for her and mail it. 5 months. this went on. I had grown a mustache for a costume and she liked it. Everyone around me, and myself didn't. So I shaved it off. She got angry and stopped talking to me. I would send her messages, saying if that's truly what she wanted. Never to talk with me again I would fuful her wishes. I log off of the chat sight, and IM. and never went back. She had my phone number and made no attempt to call. I felt used. Up to that point I've never really had any relationships with woman that didn't involve me being used.

I'm a little ashamed to say I did cry. Feeling like my heart being ripped out of my chest. I kneel and prayed to God. "Why can't I have a relationship? I have always been kind and caring. I've been told how great a guy I am. But it always ends the same way. Me alone. I've prayed for 29 years. Why have you ignored my prayers for all these years? Maybe because your not there. Show me. Show me I'm wrong." Nothing. Not a sound or a sign. Just silence. I picked myself off my knees, wiped my tears from my eyes and said well I guess I on my own on this one.

After that I joined dating sights. Non discrimently. I started look more at atheist videos on youtube. since I felt perhaps they would have more inseat on how to live life turning their back of god. But the more I looked the more I realized it made sense to me. All those question for all those years started to make more sense when God wasn't in the equation.

...sorry maybe I should have put this in personal issues.

Don't Live each day like it's your last. Live each day like you have 541 days after that one where every choice you make will have lasting implications to you and the world around you. ~ Tim Minchin
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
08-08-2017, 01:51 AM
RE: What was the las straw before you deconverted?
I am a little ashamed to admit that I was not one of those children who questioned everything that I was taught in church. When I was a child until about my late teenage years, I was about as good as a Christian girl as you could get. I willingly swallowed just about everything the church told me. I was not able to start the process to deconvert until I found a moral objection.

I remember that I had recently been transferred out of the private Christian school that was basically owned by my church into public school. But that wasn't enough. My science teachers would teach us about evolution and biology, geology and cosmology and I just sat there with my arms crossed thinking "That's not true." I was an idiot. So one Saturday (I grew up Seventh Day Adventist), I was in Bible Study with many of the other teenagers in our church. We were pretty excited because the pastor of our church was going to take the time to come and speak directly to us. I'll never forget one of the things he said.

During the course of his talk, he admitted to our faces that he raped his wife, but it was okay because they were married and you can't rape someone that you're married to.

That was the thing that finally got me to step back and really look at the religion that I was born into. But the really shocking part was the reaction of the other teenagers in the room. A small number were like me, teenagers who were in public school. But most of them were attendees of the private school that I once belonged to. In public school, we had been given a modern version of sexual education, including consent. Myself and the other public school teenagers glanced at each other like "WTF?!" But from the private school teenagers... no reaction at all.

It was then that I realized that Christianity was not the end-all-be-all when it came to morality. Here I was, a teenager, with a moral belief that did not align with my church's pastor.

Word of the incident must have spread, because not long after that my mother and father stopped insisting that we go to church. (I'm about 85 percent sure that my parents were at least agnostic and only took my sister and I to church to make my highly religious grandparents happy.) It still took several more years for me to finally describe myself as an atheist, but it was my first step and without a moral failing within the church I'm still unsure how I would have been able to take that first step.

-
"Who is the clergy?"
"A bunch of mindless idiots who were the first against the wall when the revolution came."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like LightSage's post
08-08-2017, 07:21 AM
RE: What was the las straw before you deconverted?
I left the Catholic Church for good in the early 1970's and engaged in comparative religious study for about a decade. During that time I described myself as an agnostic. In 1982, I read an article in THE AMERICAN ATHEIST titled The Agnostic's Dilemma. I had an epiphany of sorts and was, from that moment onward, an atheist. Consider
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Gwaithmir's post
08-08-2017, 07:28 AM
RE: What was the las straw before you deconverted?
For me, the moment was when the attribute of consciousness fell out of my God-concept. A God without consciousness is no god at all.

Then later than year I read The God Delusion and became an atheist.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Thoreauvian's post
08-08-2017, 08:16 AM
RE: What was the las straw before you deconverted?
I don't think was a specific last straw, but there were many reinforcements that I had made the right decision.

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like outtathereligioncloset's post
08-08-2017, 10:56 AM
RE: What was the las straw before you deconverted?
I had left the Baptist church, realized the resurrection and most Old Testament stories were myth, but still holding to the power of prayer. Facepalm

About ten years ago I read Bart Ehrman's Misquoting Jesus, then watched The God Who Wasn't There shortly after.

I. Was. Done...
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes aloneinalabama's post
08-08-2017, 11:17 AM
RE: What was the las straw before you deconverted?
I hate the words "convert and deconvert". You change positions, like changing cloths, you don't magically turn into a different species.

Just like you don't become the restaurant when you enter the door. You also don't stop being the restaurant when you exit it.

Outside that though, there was no "last straw" for me, but lots of tiny thoughts over several years that simply added up to my conclusion to leave the restaurant.

Some arrive at their conclusion over longer periods of time or shorter periods of time. I will say this, if you gave up on a religion because bad things happen, or that you hate the hypocrisy in some member's behaviors, that is not the core reason why one should give up on the idea. Lack of evidence is the only core and best reason to ditch a position.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Brian37's post
08-08-2017, 12:08 PM
RE: What was the las straw before you deconverted?
True, Brian- but those bad behaviors or hypocrisy of church members can serve to force some distance between you and your church. And that opening is room enough for someone to sort of snap out of the zombification of the church.

Toward the remaining years of my faithful Christianity, I was in a discipleship program. As I was finishing my second and final year of the program, the pastor gave us a sermon in which he encouraged us to continue to go to church every week, and to stay active in church. He then used a parable to describe why- that we are like ice cubes in an ice tray and the freezer is the church. If the ice doesn't remain in the freezer, it will melt. And the same is true with our faith.

He was right, in my case (thought not everyone's case, of course). I stopped going to church due to some bad experiences with my church, the church leadership and elders, and a growing general distaste for being directed and told what to do and how to think. I had become fed up with my personal life being dictated by other as people equally flawed as I, though far more arrogant and demanding.

The last straw for my strained faith, though, came years later when I really began to dig into how the Bible required the 6-day creation and original sin for the sacrifice of Jesus to make any sense. And I, as much as I tried to learn otherwise, still believed in evolution. And that spat in the face of original sin and the fallen nature of humanity.

And then I just started to hungrily devour information about other ways that scientific knowledge about our universe had usurped Biblical knowledge as more reliable and accurate. It wasn't really until my own religious father asked me if I still believed that I realized that I didn't anymore- that I was an atheist.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Emma's post
08-08-2017, 12:43 PM
RE: What was the las straw before you deconverted?
I was at the tail end of a long fuzzy agnostic phase ("the bible may not be literal truth but of course there's still truth in there...right?"). I read Strobel's The Case for Christ. So unconvincing and blatantly propagandist. I guess I have the good fortunate of literally having a "step away from Jesus" moment. I know exactly where I was and the exact second, I remember looking around the park and laughing to myself saying "Holy shit! It's not true, none of it's really true! There isn't a God!" It felt so good, very liberating, everything looked just a bit clearer and sharper. The quick nice sensation you have after you've just vomited? Like that.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like jerry mcmasters's post
25-08-2017, 04:43 AM
RE: What was the las straw before you deconverted?
For me, the last straw was seeing so many corrupt friends, acquaintances, enemies, siblings go into Christian ministry because they wanted power and authority and praise from people, and NONE OF THEM were ever humbled or put in their place. In fact, time and again it was the most corrupt people I knew who were most successful in ministry. But worse was when those same corrupt people turned and hurt good or meek people, and god and the church did nothing. That caused such bitterness in me and I tried to rationalize it, but one day I just realized that it was all proof that there was no god of justice, no gatekeeper who was keeping score. Then the videos about errors in scripture made sense. It was ALL man made. All human based and driven by ego or self deception.

Here is the thing about potential...You either use your gift or your gift uses you. You are either a rocket or a bomb.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Oaken's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: