What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
17-02-2016, 03:17 PM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
(17-02-2016 03:12 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(17-02-2016 03:09 PM)Dom Wrote:  Being given the top suite at the Venetian in Vegas (erroneously). I was only going to stay a few days but stayed a week, soaking in the Jacuzzi, sipping Champagne (real Champagne) and enjoying the views. When I would go to roam around a bit, I would come back to all my clothes picked up, washed, pressed and hung. I had a butler and a maid at the push of a button. Scrumptious lobster for dinner. And so forth. The suite was way bigger than my house - I counted 8 televisions. One rose at the foot of my bed at the push of a button. Cost me - nothing. Tongue

Hedonist.

Quite right! Big Grin

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-02-2016, 03:41 PM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
I spent three days in a Lutheran Indoctrination Camp a few years back... It was pretty absurd to me.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like Free Thought's post
17-02-2016, 04:15 PM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
Okay, it's long but I think you think it's worth it. Smile

The Day The Swat Team Came To Dinner


One afternoon I left work and after stopping at the store I went on home. When I got home I took the groceries in and put them away, peed, kicked of my shoes and sat down to check my mail and on some of my sites I visit. I had been home about 20 minutes when I got a phone call. The woman on the line said she was from the police and was I alright. I said “yes, why”.

She proceeded to tell me that they had received a call that I was distressed and might want to hurt myself. I said, no and that I just got home from work. She said, “Do you have any guns in the house?” I said, “No, I left those at my ex’s when I left because I didn’t have a safe.” Then I asked her who called and reported that, that it must be a mistake.” She said my daughter had. “I said, “That is not right. I had talked to my daughter earlier and she was fine and she knew that I was fine and they must have the wrong person.”

She asked if anyone else was in the house. I said, no, then she asked if I would step out of the house, that the police (her police chief) was there and they would like me to come out of the house. I began to get scared then. I said, “Is there someone in my house?” She had asked several times if there was anyone else in the house and for some reason I wondered if somehow some guy they were looking for might have been holdup in my house. She said, “If you could come out and speak to my chief that would be great.”

I went to the door and opened it and didn’t see anyone, then, I got suspicious and shut the door again and locked it. I asked her to identify herself, as I didn’t see anyone out there. I told her I was hanging up and calling 911 to confirm I was really talking to the police. I hung up. I called 911 and they connected me to the local police and right back to the woman officer I was speaking with. She said, my chief wants to speak to you. I said okay. I let my dog out the side door as the chief came on the phone.

He asked me again if I had any weapons in the house and I said no and then asked him what was going on. He said my daughter had called earlier and said that I was holding her at gun point and had threatened to kill her and myself. I said, “That’s could not be my daughter because she was home (40 miles away) and I had been at work all day. They must have the wrong people.” He said, okay, maybe they did but I needed to come out and talk to them. I said, I didn’t see any police. Then someone pipped the siren so I agreed to come out.

With my phone in my hand still talking to the chief and in my socked feet I stepped out of the house. Twelve police showed themselves from various places around my house, all with guns drawn on me, mostly pistols but also 3 rifles and everyone in swat team gear. I was scared then. I was instructed to raise my hands and get down on the ground. I raised my hands but I have a damaged knee and getting down on the ground is problematic for me. I said, I couldn’t, that my knee was crippled. The chief waved me over and three officers met me at my drive and put my hands behind my back, took my phone and cuffed me.

The chief and one officer started questioning me, by then tears were running down my face from the stress. They asked to search my house, I said, “Fine, just don’t look at the mess.” We all kind of chuckled. I told them I had talked to my daughter that afternoon and they were welcomed to call her. I told them she was home with her children and my son was at work. They said “Son?” And then they looked at each other. I said yes, they asked how old was I and how old my children were, I told them. The officer talked on his radio to the dispatcher and said, “None of the info we are getting from her matches what we have from the Cherokee Nation report.”

We talked, they explained that they had receive a report that Cherokee Nation emergency service had gotten a call from this woman and she claimed to be held at gun point and her mother threatened to kill the both of them. The address Cherokee Nation gave the police was my address. AT that time the other officers came out of my house and said my house was clear. They uncuffed me and we went back inside the house. They used my phone to call my daughter and ask her if she would confirm my statement. She did but she also got a bit hysterical. I talked to her a bit then hung up, promising I would call her later.

We sat down and talked about it, then it dawned on me that I’d only been in the house a month and that maybe the previous ladies (yes, there was a mom and daughter) were the ones they were looking for. I gave them my landlords name and number and they called him. He confirmed it was them that lived there before and yes they were members of Cherokee Nation. He gave them the new address and they apologized and left. The chief said he’s call me later. He did and when I asked about the two ladies he said the daughter had had a mental break and lied and that there was never any gun but she was now admitted to the hospital for treatment. I also found out my son had called the chief (his sister had called him) and he read them the riot act about scaring the shit out of his mother. Lol

Was sort of interesting that all this happened and not one reporter showed up to report the mistaken identity raid. My ex called later and I told him what all happened. He said, “They’re damn lucky.” I asked, “Why?” He replied, “Of all the people I know you are the one person who is cool as ice under stress and in an emergency. Anyone else and who knows what shit might have hit the fan. We could be watching, “shot by swat team by mistake at 6”. I laughed but not in a haha way. I have no idea why I didn’t pee my pants when I saw all those guns pointed at me but something in me said don’t move, don’t talk, don’t blink and I didn’t.

Now, the funny bit… Those cops that searched my house…. I had an adult literature site up on my computer checking my messages, I’ll bet they looked at and when I check my house out the lid to my toy box next to my bed was not latched, bet they checked that for guns too. Wonder if they were a bit surprised. Big Grin

[Image: dnw9krH.jpg?4]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 17 users Like Heatheness's post
17-02-2016, 04:34 PM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
I once forgot my bass on the way to a gig ... my band played twenty minutes without me as I hightailed back home to fetch it. Doh!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like Thumpalumpacus's post
17-02-2016, 04:38 PM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
I was married!!!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like DerFish's post
17-02-2016, 04:47 PM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
(17-02-2016 04:15 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Okay, it's long but I think you think it's worth it. Smile

The Day The Swat Team Came To Dinner


One afternoon I left work and after stopping at the store I went on home. When I got home I took the groceries in and put them away, peed, kicked of my shoes and sat down to check my mail and on some of my sites I visit. I had been home about 20 minutes when I got a phone call. The woman on the line said she was from the police and was I alright. I said “yes, why”.

She proceeded to tell me that they had received a call that I was distressed and might want to hurt myself. I said, no and that I just got home from work. She said, “Do you have any guns in the house?” I said, “No, I left those at my ex’s when I left because I didn’t have a safe.” Then I asked her who called and reported that, that it must be a mistake.” She said my daughter had. “I said, “That is not right. I had talked to my daughter earlier and she was fine and she knew that I was fine and they must have the wrong person.”

She asked if anyone else was in the house. I said, no, then she asked if I would step out of the house, that the police (her police chief) was there and they would like me to come out of the house. I began to get scared then. I said, “Is there someone in my house?” She had asked several times if there was anyone else in the house and for some reason I wondered if somehow some guy they were looking for might have been holdup in my house. She said, “If you could come out and speak to my chief that would be great.”

I went to the door and opened it and didn’t see anyone, then, I got suspicious and shut the door again and locked it. I asked her to identify herself, as I didn’t see anyone out there. I told her I was hanging up and calling 911 to confirm I was really talking to the police. I hung up. I called 911 and they connected me to the local police and right back to the woman officer I was speaking with. She said, my chief wants to speak to you. I said okay. I let my dog out the side door as the chief came on the phone.

He asked me again if I had any weapons in the house and I said no and then asked him what was going on. He said my daughter had called earlier and said that I was holding her at gun point and had threatened to kill her and myself. I said, “That’s could not be my daughter because she was home (40 miles away) and I had been at work all day. They must have the wrong people.” He said, okay, maybe they did but I needed to come out and talk to them. I said, I didn’t see any police. Then someone pipped the siren so I agreed to come out.

With my phone in my hand still talking to the chief and in my socked feet I stepped out of the house. Twelve police showed themselves from various places around my house, all with guns drawn on me, mostly pistols but also 3 rifles and everyone in swat team gear. I was scared then. I was instructed to raise my hands and get down on the ground. I raised my hands but I have a damaged knee and getting down on the ground is problematic for me. I said, I couldn’t, that my knee was crippled. The chief waved me over and three officers met me at my drive and put my hands behind my back, took my phone and cuffed me.

The chief and one officer started questioning me, by then tears were running down my face from the stress. They asked to search my house, I said, “Fine, just don’t look at the mess.” We all kind of chuckled. I told them I had talked to my daughter that afternoon and they were welcomed to call her. I told them she was home with her children and my son was at work. They said “Son?” And then they looked at each other. I said yes, they asked how old was I and how old my children were, I told them. The officer talked on his radio to the dispatcher and said, “None of the info we are getting from her matches what we have from the Cherokee Nation report.”

We talked, they explained that they had receive a report that Cherokee Nation emergency service had gotten a call from this woman and she claimed to be held at gun point and her mother threatened to kill the both of them. The address Cherokee Nation gave the police was my address. AT that time the other officers came out of my house and said my house was clear. They uncuffed me and we went back inside the house. They used my phone to call my daughter and ask her if she would confirm my statement. She did but she also got a bit hysterical. I talked to her a bit then hung up, promising I would call her later.

We sat down and talked about it, then it dawned on me that I’d only been in the house a month and that maybe the previous ladies (yes, there was a mom and daughter) were the ones they were looking for. I gave them my landlords name and number and they called him. He confirmed it was them that lived there before and yes they were members of Cherokee Nation. He gave them the new address and they apologized and left. The chief said he’s call me later. He did and when I asked about the two ladies he said the daughter had had a mental break and lied and that there was never any gun but she was now admitted to the hospital for treatment. I also found out my son had called the chief (his sister had called him) and he read them the riot act about scaring the shit out of his mother. Lol

Was sort of interesting that all this happened and not one reporter showed up to report the mistaken identity raid. My ex called later and I told him what all happened. He said, “They’re damn lucky.” I asked, “Why?” He replied, “Of all the people I know you are the one person who is cool as ice under stress and in an emergency. Anyone else and who knows what shit might have hit the fan. We could be watching, “shot by swat team by mistake at 6”. I laughed but not in a haha way. I have no idea why I didn’t pee my pants when I saw all those guns pointed at me but something in me said don’t move, don’t talk, don’t blink and I didn’t.

Now, the funny bit… Those cops that searched my house…. I had an adult literature site up on my computer checking my messages, I’ll bet they looked at and when I check my house out the lid to my toy box next to my bed was not latched, bet they checked that for guns too. Wonder if they were a bit surprised. Big Grin

Damn, I nearly pissed myself in fright just reading that.

A man should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. -Ferris Bueller

That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs but what a ship is... what the Black Pearl really is... is freedom. -Jack Sparrow
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Imathinker's post
17-02-2016, 04:54 PM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
I was stranded in a public bathroom stall once. I was 4 or 5 years old, and I got into the stall and closed the door, and then couldn't figure out how to open it. I thought I was going to be stuck in there for the rest of my life and panicked. I don't remember how I eventually did get out. I might have figured out how to get the door open, or maybe I yelled for help until somebody came, or maybe I finally noticed that there was a good foot or so gap at the bottom of the door and I could just crawl under it. D'oh!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 9 users Like Grasshopper's post
17-02-2016, 04:57 PM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
(17-02-2016 04:15 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Okay, it's long but I think you think it's worth it. Smile

The Day The Swat Team Came To Dinner


One afternoon I left work and after stopping at the store I went on home. When I got home I took the groceries in and put them away, peed, kicked of my shoes and sat down to check my mail and on some of my sites I visit. I had been home about 20 minutes when I got a phone call. The woman on the line said she was from the police and was I alright. I said “yes, why”.

She proceeded to tell me that they had received a call that I was distressed and might want to hurt myself. I said, no and that I just got home from work. She said, “Do you have any guns in the house?” I said, “No, I left those at my ex’s when I left because I didn’t have a safe.” Then I asked her who called and reported that, that it must be a mistake.” She said my daughter had. “I said, “That is not right. I had talked to my daughter earlier and she was fine and she knew that I was fine and they must have the wrong person.”

She asked if anyone else was in the house. I said, no, then she asked if I would step out of the house, that the police (her police chief) was there and they would like me to come out of the house. I began to get scared then. I said, “Is there someone in my house?” She had asked several times if there was anyone else in the house and for some reason I wondered if somehow some guy they were looking for might have been holdup in my house. She said, “If you could come out and speak to my chief that would be great.”

I went to the door and opened it and didn’t see anyone, then, I got suspicious and shut the door again and locked it. I asked her to identify herself, as I didn’t see anyone out there. I told her I was hanging up and calling 911 to confirm I was really talking to the police. I hung up. I called 911 and they connected me to the local police and right back to the woman officer I was speaking with. She said, my chief wants to speak to you. I said okay. I let my dog out the side door as the chief came on the phone.

He asked me again if I had any weapons in the house and I said no and then asked him what was going on. He said my daughter had called earlier and said that I was holding her at gun point and had threatened to kill her and myself. I said, “That’s could not be my daughter because she was home (40 miles away) and I had been at work all day. They must have the wrong people.” He said, okay, maybe they did but I needed to come out and talk to them. I said, I didn’t see any police. Then someone pipped the siren so I agreed to come out.

With my phone in my hand still talking to the chief and in my socked feet I stepped out of the house. Twelve police showed themselves from various places around my house, all with guns drawn on me, mostly pistols but also 3 rifles and everyone in swat team gear. I was scared then. I was instructed to raise my hands and get down on the ground. I raised my hands but I have a damaged knee and getting down on the ground is problematic for me. I said, I couldn’t, that my knee was crippled. The chief waved me over and three officers met me at my drive and put my hands behind my back, took my phone and cuffed me.

The chief and one officer started questioning me, by then tears were running down my face from the stress. They asked to search my house, I said, “Fine, just don’t look at the mess.” We all kind of chuckled. I told them I had talked to my daughter that afternoon and they were welcomed to call her. I told them she was home with her children and my son was at work. They said “Son?” And then they looked at each other. I said yes, they asked how old was I and how old my children were, I told them. The officer talked on his radio to the dispatcher and said, “None of the info we are getting from her matches what we have from the Cherokee Nation report.”

We talked, they explained that they had receive a report that Cherokee Nation emergency service had gotten a call from this woman and she claimed to be held at gun point and her mother threatened to kill the both of them. The address Cherokee Nation gave the police was my address. AT that time the other officers came out of my house and said my house was clear. They uncuffed me and we went back inside the house. They used my phone to call my daughter and ask her if she would confirm my statement. She did but she also got a bit hysterical. I talked to her a bit then hung up, promising I would call her later.

We sat down and talked about it, then it dawned on me that I’d only been in the house a month and that maybe the previous ladies (yes, there was a mom and daughter) were the ones they were looking for. I gave them my landlords name and number and they called him. He confirmed it was them that lived there before and yes they were members of Cherokee Nation. He gave them the new address and they apologized and left. The chief said he’s call me later. He did and when I asked about the two ladies he said the daughter had had a mental break and lied and that there was never any gun but she was now admitted to the hospital for treatment. I also found out my son had called the chief (his sister had called him) and he read them the riot act about scaring the shit out of his mother. Lol

Was sort of interesting that all this happened and not one reporter showed up to report the mistaken identity raid. My ex called later and I told him what all happened. He said, “They’re damn lucky.” I asked, “Why?” He replied, “Of all the people I know you are the one person who is cool as ice under stress and in an emergency. Anyone else and who knows what shit might have hit the fan. We could be watching, “shot by swat team by mistake at 6”. I laughed but not in a haha way. I have no idea why I didn’t pee my pants when I saw all those guns pointed at me but something in me said don’t move, don’t talk, don’t blink and I didn’t.

Now, the funny bit… Those cops that searched my house…. I had an adult literature site up on my computer checking my messages, I’ll bet they looked at and when I check my house out the lid to my toy box next to my bed was not latched, bet they checked that for guns too. Wonder if they were a bit surprised. Big Grin

The stuff nightmares are made of.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Dom's post
17-02-2016, 05:56 PM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
(17-02-2016 03:12 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(17-02-2016 02:51 PM)pablo Wrote:  I was stranded on an island once.

With Gilligan and the Skipper? Wink

It was late November-ish when me and two buddies took a canoe out to the lake.
There is a small island in the middle and we went there to build a fire to warm up.
When we got out, we all assumed someone would tie up the boat.
By the time we noticed it drifting away, it was too late to swim to in water that cold.
It drifted to the far bank and just sat there as the sun was starting to go down and we were running out of firewood on the tiny island.
Some guy finally walked by and we asked him to come get us. Instead he tried to steal the canoe. He paddled it to the other side of the lake but it was too heavy for him to drag it away and he just left it on the bank. Fucker.
Now it was nearly dark and getting damn cold when a couple walked by. We managed to get their attention and rather than bring the canoe to us, they called the fire department. They showed up a little while later with trucks and rescue boats and picked us up.
One of the guys that was with me was relentlessly called Maryann by his brothers for a couple months after that.
True story. Facepalm
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 13 users Like pablo's post
18-02-2016, 02:16 AM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
When I was about 4 or 5 we were taking a bus from California to Arkansas. It was at night (have no idea the time) I woke up on the bus and mom was no where around and most people were off the bus. I panicked and ran off the bus. We were at a gas station so I was trying to open the door but my scrauning little butt didn't have enough muscle to open it. This man opened it for me and when I got inside I found my mom. But then I got in a lot of trouble for getting off the bus.

I never understand why? I mean I was too little to understand and mom should have carried me in instead of leaving me on the bus . I got a spanking.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like purpledaisies's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: