What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
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18-02-2016, 03:30 AM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
10 months in hospital expecting to die any day.

I have been in funny situations. That was not one of them. Especially month 10 when I was insane.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
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Banjo.
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18-02-2016, 06:36 AM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
When my husband and I were first dating, his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. A few weeks after the diagnosis, I was at work when he called me, talking about his mom and crying so hard I could barely understand him. I told my boss that my boyfriend's mother just died, so it was an emergency, he let me leave work. I ran for the next train from Boston to Salem. I got up to my boyfriend's place and he was still upset, and I was being supportive and comforting…when slowly it became apparent that the situation was not so dire. At one point I asked, gently, just to clarify: "So…your mom is not dead?"

What had happened was that my boyfriend had had a delayed emotional reaction to the news and had been suddenly overwhelmed by it.

Explaining things the next day at the office was a little embarrassing.

His mom's breast cancer was successfully treated, and she lived for another 16 years or so, pretty healthy until the last few months, when she developed thyroid cancer.
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18-02-2016, 06:43 AM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
I once got in a fist fight with a camel that was dancing on a pool table close by the Suez Canal. (This actually happened, but didn't make the internet because it was 1974.)
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18-02-2016, 07:14 AM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
I don't wan a talk about it.

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

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18-02-2016, 07:14 AM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
(17-02-2016 02:22 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  Interested to hear some stories. Popcorn

I'm not sure if it counts as sleepwalking, or what, but I occasionally wake up confused for a few seconds to a minute. I basically don't realize that I was dreaming, and try to reconcile that with what I'm seeing (usually a dark bedroom), all while being otherwise fully conscious and aware. I remember everything I do. This usually involves me doing or saying something a bit goofy, then going back to sleep. But not one time...

So, about ten years ago, I was dreaming that the house was being overrun by tiny robots with saws, or something similarly stupid. Without any hesitation, I sprang from my bed and ran out the back door. I literally went from sleeping in my bed to being on the back deck of my house in less than five seconds.

Now, I didn't have any time to formulate a plan, so I was kind of making this up as I went along. I went to my car, figuring I had to go somewhere. Maybe my parent's house? Why? I had no idea, but something had to be done.

It was about that time that I became aware of what was happening, and my heart sank. I was reaching for my pockets to get my car keys, but I didn't have any keys because I didn't have any pockets because I was sleeping naked. So, I fully woke up around 2:00 - 4:00 in the morning with the realization that I was in my driveway naked with no keys.

I quickly headed up the deck to get back in the house, and I had a creeping suspicion that in my haste to escape my robotic murderers, I still had the presence of mind to lock the door. I confirmed this when the knob wouldn't turn. We only had a doorbell on the front door, and I didn't want to bang so loud on the door to wake the neighbors. After a few increasingly louder knocks, I knew my wife wasn't waking up.

I finally said "fuck it" and sprinted down my driveway, naked, and ran up my front steps and started franticly pressing the doorbell. After what seemed like an eternity, I saw the dining room light go on and my very confused wife walk out and start looking around (for me). She walked out to the front door and peered out into the darkness. I'm glad she was too tired to think to turn the porch light on for a better look. She opened the door and I practically knocked her down, running past.

So, that was the worst thing I've done sleep walking (or whatever that is), but luckily she knew about it before hand. If you want, I have similarly weird stories about avoiding crocodiles to take a piss. Also, killing snakes. Night time can be very weird for me.
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18-02-2016, 07:47 AM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
(18-02-2016 07:14 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  I'm not sure if it counts as sleepwalking, or what, but I occasionally wake up confused for a few seconds to a minute. I basically don't realize that I was dreaming, and try to reconcile that with what I'm seeing (usually a dark bedroom), all while being otherwise fully conscious and aware. I remember everything I do. This usually involves me doing or saying something a bit goofy, then going back to sleep. But not one time...

So, about ten years ago, I was dreaming that the house was being overrun by tiny robots with saws, or something similarly stupid. Without any hesitation, I sprang from my bed and ran out the back door. I literally went from sleeping in my bed to being on the back deck of my house in less than five seconds.

Now, I didn't have any time to formulate a plan, so I was kind of making this up as I went along. I went to my car, figuring I had to go somewhere. Maybe my parent's house? Why? I had no idea, but something had to be done.

It was about that time that I became aware of what was happening, and my heart sank. I was reaching for my pockets to get my car keys, but I didn't have any keys because I didn't have any pockets because I was sleeping naked. So, I fully woke up around 2:00 - 4:00 in the morning with the realization that I was in my driveway naked with no keys.

I quickly headed up the deck to get back in the house, and I had a creeping suspicion that in my haste to escape my robotic murderers, I still had the presence of mind to lock the door. I confirmed this when the knob wouldn't turn. We only had a doorbell on the front door, and I didn't want to bang so loud on the door to wake the neighbors. After a few increasingly louder knocks, I knew my wife wasn't waking up.

I finally said "fuck it" and sprinted down my driveway, naked, and ran up my front steps and started franticly pressing the doorbell. After what seemed like an eternity, I saw the dining room light go on and my very confused wife walk out and start looking around (for me). She walked out to the front door and peered out into the darkness. I'm glad she was too tired to think to turn the porch light on for a better look. She opened the door and I practically knocked her down, running past.

So, that was the worst thing I've done sleep walking (or whatever that is), but luckily she knew about it before hand. If you want, I have similarly weird stories about avoiding crocodiles to take a piss. Also, killing snakes. Night time can be very weird for me.

Hey, I remember that one, you've mentioned it in the past, right? I'm sorry if it's something rather unpleasant for you, but it still makes me laugh Blush

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18-02-2016, 08:39 AM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
(18-02-2016 07:47 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  Hey, I remember that one, you've mentioned it in the past, right? I'm sorry if it's something rather unpleasant for you, but it still makes me laugh Blush

Yeah, I was pretty sure I had. I just figured it definitely qualified for "most absurd situation I've been in".
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18-02-2016, 08:46 PM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
I had a boy bully, torment me and stalk me at school in 7th grade because I wouldn't give him the time of day. He called me every foul name he could come up with at breaks between classes and followed me to every class I went to. This was in the late 60s and girls were not encouraged to complain about inappropriate behaviors of boys. I still complained to several of my teachers. Dozens of students saw this harassment every day

After 2 weeks I finally got fed up, he stood out in the courtyard and mouthed "whore" at me and that was all she wrote. I ploughed through the glass doors at a dead run. (I played sports and was a tomboy unfortunately for him.) He realized he'd gone too far but it was too late, I beat the fire right out of him, blacked his eye, bloodied his nose and when they pulled me off of him I was sitting on his chest pummeling his face.

The principle called my mom and when she came up to school he tried to tell her I would be expelled. She made him see the error of his ways and with teachers and students to back up my claim of harassment he reneged and just sent me home for the day.

The boy was expelled and sent to another school. I heard that his humiliation followed him (beaten up by a girl) but I don't know if that was true or if my friends were just trying to make me feel better.

Was the only time I ever got in a fight. lol

Hobo

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18-02-2016, 09:02 PM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
(17-02-2016 02:34 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Same one I been in for decades now.

Same. Consciousness is a fucking trip, man.

If we came from dust, then why is there still dust?
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18-02-2016, 09:15 PM
RE: What was the most absurd situation you've ever been in?
(18-02-2016 08:46 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  I had a boy bully, torment me and stalk me at school in 7th grade because I wouldn't give him the time of day. He called me every foul name he could come up with at breaks between classes and followed me to every class I went to. This was in the late 60s and girls were not encouraged to complain about inappropriate behaviors of boys. I still complained to several of my teachers. Dozens of students saw this harassment every day

After 2 weeks I finally got fed up, he stood out in the courtyard and mouthed "whore" at me and that was all she wrote. I ploughed through the glass doors at a dead run. (I played sports and was a tomboy unfortunately for him.) He realized he'd gone too far but it was too late, I beat the fire right out of him, blacked his eye, bloodied his nose and when they pulled me off of him I was sitting on his chest pummeling his face.

The principle called my mom and when she came up to school he tried to tell her I would be expelled. She made him see the error of his ways and with teachers and students to back up my claim of harassment he reneged and just sent me home for the day.

The boy was expelled and sent to another school. I heard that his humiliation followed him (beaten up by a girl) but I don't know if that was true or if my friends were just trying to make me feel better.

Was the only time I ever got in a fight. lol

Hobo

I'm really happy that you beat the snot out of him! That kind of shit has to stop! Shit, I got into fights all the time in school, because I didn't finish growing until I was 20, so I was way smaller (and smarter!) than most guys. Also, I am legally blind, and I am certain that the other kids noticed that I couldn't see for shit. I didn't start fights, but I did finish them, mostly (I HAD to). I remember one time when I was 14 and went home and told my dad's mother, who was visiting, that I had gotten into a fight at school. She only asked me if I had won! BTW, I fight dirty, since I have already mentioned that I was smaller than most guys. Nothing like a knee to the balls to level the playing field.
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