What wine type do priests use?
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04-09-2015, 09:48 PM
What wine type do priests use?
Just wondering, what type of wine do priests use at mass? Is there a specific type, or brand? Do they just pick up anything Binny's alcohol depot, or is there a certain type that works best for absorbing the Holy Spirit? Lol

"If you cannot explain it simply, you don't understand it enough" -Albert Einstein
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04-09-2015, 09:58 PM
RE: What wine type do priests use?
Cream of Sam Yung Boi. Big Grin

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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04-09-2015, 10:07 PM
RE: What wine type do priests use?
(04-09-2015 09:58 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  Cream of Sam Yung Boi. Big Grin

It's Sum

And you're bad.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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04-09-2015, 10:16 PM (This post was last modified: 04-09-2015 10:40 PM by cactus.)
RE: What wine type do priests use?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_wine
Gawd isn't too terribly picky about his wine.

Fun fact, though, some Catholic churches won't let you become a priest if you have celiac disease and can't eat the communion wafers. There are gluten free alternatives, but some Catholics are so fucking hard core that they simply won't accept that as an option. Gawd is all like "real wheat or GTFO, you celiac cunts! How dare you defy my word with your Satan-borne illnesses!!!" so some crafty bastards (or I guess I should say bitches, since it was a bunch of nuns) have outsmarted Gawd and created communion wafers with a gluten content of 100 parts per million: low enough that your body probably won't notice, high enough to officially be classified as "not gluten free" (because Gawd obviously cares a lot about FDA regulations, you know, with how much he told people in the Bible to wash their hands and taught them the germ theory of disease and everything) and most importantly, high enough gluten content that Gawd will still love you. It's a win all around!

Man, these homeopathic communion wafers are the greatest invention since the Jews invented Sabbath Mode for their appliances; and you know what, this magical wafer recipe only took 10 years to develop! Now who says nuns have too much free time on their hands and never get anything important accomplished.

If we came from dust, then why is there still dust?
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04-09-2015, 11:05 PM
RE: What wine type do priests use?
(04-09-2015 10:16 PM)cactus Wrote:  Gawd isn't too terribly picky about his wine.

It ain't great, but it'll get'cha to Heaven.

"Owl," said Rabbit shortly, "you and I have brains. The others have fluff. If there is any thinking to be done in this Forest - and when I say thinking I mean thinking - you and I must do it."
- A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner
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04-09-2015, 11:26 PM
RE: What wine type do priests use?
Something young and fruity.
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05-09-2015, 12:00 AM
RE: What wine type do priests use?
It depends. If the crackers are saltines, they're advised to go with a merlot or cabernet, with a lot of tannins to cleanse the palate. Club-style butter crackers are better-served with a rosé or perhaps a nice malbec, lighter and fruitier, to allow the flavor of the wafer to blossom.
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05-09-2015, 12:55 AM
RE: What wine type do priests use?
Probably Zinfidel wine and they write an I in front of the bottle before using it lol.

I would guess whatever is the absolute cheapest wine they can get their hands on.


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05-09-2015, 01:10 AM
RE: What wine type do priests use?
(05-09-2015 12:55 AM)Shadow Fox Wrote:  Probably Zinfidel wine and they write an I in front of the bottle before using it lol.

I would guess whatever is the absolute cheapest wine they can get their hands on.

Satanists, on the other hand, simply scratch out the "Z".
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05-09-2015, 01:49 AM
RE: What wine type do priests use?
(05-09-2015 01:10 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  
(05-09-2015 12:55 AM)Shadow Fox Wrote:  Probably Zinfidel wine and they write an I in front of the bottle before using it lol.

I would guess whatever is the absolute cheapest wine they can get their hands on.

Satanists, on the other hand, simply scratch out the "Z".

...oh..uh...yeah...thats what I meant to say lol.


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