When I pray to Jesus
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23-06-2016, 04:08 PM
RE: When I pray to Jesus
(23-06-2016 02:50 AM)Typho2k Wrote:  Just wondering how the setup must be in order to receive the optimal 5 striped signalpower from Jesus so he can hear my prayer.

Should I bend over the bed with my elbows resting on it?

Should I use 'in the name of Jesus' before saying 'amen'?

Must I say 'amen' to make him acknowledge my prayer?

Should I go down on my knees so he can unload his salvation all over me?

Or is it as easy as just telling Jesus what I want without any setup or structure?

You forgot to cross yourself. Nothing will come of it unless you cross yourself.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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23-06-2016, 04:12 PM
RE: When I pray to Jesus
(23-06-2016 04:08 PM)Dom Wrote:  You forgot to cross yourself. Nothing will come of it unless you cross yourself.

I always thought crossing yourself was to stop yourself going.

Or maybe I just have a weak bladder.
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23-06-2016, 04:23 PM
RE: When I pray to Jesus
(23-06-2016 04:12 PM)Mathilda Wrote:  
(23-06-2016 04:08 PM)Dom Wrote:  You forgot to cross yourself. Nothing will come of it unless you cross yourself.

I always thought crossing yourself was to stop yourself going.

Or maybe I just have a weak bladder.

Lol. You have to paint a cross on your forehead with holy water. You can't enter the church without that. Dunno what happens if you enter without a holy water crossing.. Tongue

Also, you have to make a cross motion over your head and chest whenever you hear something evil. Or else the devil will get you.

Every Catholic knows that crossing yourself as often as possible protects you from all evil.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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24-06-2016, 10:17 PM
RE: When I pray to Jesus
Covered in Jesus' sweet, sticky salvation.
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26-06-2016, 02:26 PM
RE: When I pray to Jesus
Well according to Reverend Fun:
[Image: DF4CReg.jpg]

Need to think of a witty signature.
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26-06-2016, 02:39 PM
RE: When I pray to Jesus
(23-06-2016 02:50 AM)Typho2k Wrote:  Just wondering how the setup must be in order to receive the optimal 5 striped signalpower from Jesus so he can hear my prayer.

Should I bend over the bed with my elbows resting on it?

Should I use 'in the name of Jesus' before saying 'amen'?

Must I say 'amen' to make him acknowledge my prayer?

Should I go down on my knees so he can unload his salvation all over me?

Or is it as easy as just telling Jesus what I want without any setup or structure?

There were three preachers talking about prayer, one said you have to bow your head. Have to show humbleness, the second one said you have to be on your knees or it is a sham you aren't really praying The third said you have to have your hands folded together or it is not really a prayer. In the corner of the room was an electrician working on a problem of wiring, He piped up and said "The best prayng I ever did I was hanging by one ungloved hand 40 feet above a half a million volt generator.
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27-06-2016, 01:00 AM
RE: When I pray to Jesus
(23-06-2016 04:23 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(23-06-2016 04:12 PM)Mathilda Wrote:  I always thought crossing yourself was to stop yourself going.

Or maybe I just have a weak bladder.

Lol. You have to paint a cross on your forehead with holy water. You can't enter the church without that. Dunno what happens if you enter without a holy water crossing.. Tongue

Also, you have to make a cross motion over your head and chest whenever you hear something evil. Or else the devil will get you.

Every Catholic knows that crossing yourself as often as possible protects you from all evil.
Well, we could devise a set of experiments.
Perhaps get some snails, paint them different colours, get a bunch of teams. Each team prays for their coloured snail to win the race. Each team prays in a specific way. Of course we need a control group, a bunch of dirty atheists that don't pray at all.

Then run the races a few thousand times. See if there is a statistical advantage towards any of the groups.

Then perhaps get someone else to perform these tests again and see if they get the same results.
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