When Someone Tells You "NO".
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09-02-2017, 06:12 AM
When Someone Tells You "NO".
What’s your reaction when someone tells you you’re not capable of doing something?

Especially when you damned well know you CAN?

Have you ever gone way the hell out of your way to do something - just because somebody told you that you couldn’t?

I grew up in Kalamazoo, and in elementary school - I met a guy that I’ll call Dave, not for his protection - but to keep the prick from suing me - should he ever see this missive. We went to the same school for a couple of years and got to be somewhat friends. He lived about ½ mile away.

In the early 70's my family moved to a rural area, to escape the inter-city bullshit that was brewing at the time and went to the nearest town’s school. I lost track of most of my friends from Kalamazoo. The second year we lived here - on the first day of school - I ran into Dave. His family had also moved out to the country. His house was less than a mile away. We ended up becoming pretty close friends. We both played guitar - and both got forced into going to church. (His dad was a part time preacher as well). We even got mistaken for brothers on occasion.

We also competed on just about everything - probably on what some would say was at an unhealthy level. I’d buy a guitar - Dave would buy one. I’d buy an electric guitar - so would Dave. We even ended up dating sisters - after I took up with this girl he’d taken out previously. (I also hit on her sister more than once. Too much fun. )

In the meantime - we’d both gotten to be pretty good guitar players - and both could sing reasonably well. We both played in churches - together and solo. I loved it, because – yes sonny — the girls DO like that sort of shit. Any guy with enough limbs to play a guitar, at least 6 teeth and one eye that works - should be able to get laid at least once in a while - providing he can play decently.

At the time there was (probably still is) an Jebus freak organization called “Youth for Christ” out of Kalamazoo. They were a group put together by a used car dealer’s wife (I suppose as a hobby) - of musicians that would go around and play all the different churches in the area - and of course - beg for money for their “causes”. The specifics aren’t really important.

I had some event or another that I wanted to go to – and asked Dave if he wanted to go. He said he couldn’t – as he was busy that day. I asked what he had going on - and he said (somewhat hesitantly) that he was trying out for “The Teen Team” – the YFC “rock band”. I was somewhat surprised - and asked why he hadn’t mentioned it earlier. I asked when and where tryouts were. He told me, and said he’d appreciate me coming to cheer him on. I said maybe I should try out too. He said – “No, I don’t really think you’d be qualified - you don’t read sheet music”. (true - I played everything by rote).

Yup – you got it — it pissed me off and motivated me.

So I did some wrangling - and got myself in for an audition.

I got in the band. Dave didn’t. He tried playing a pretty well known song - that was pretty easy. I came in with my Ovation Deacon (a pretty wild guitar at the time) and my Fender Twin amp - and did a song that was considerably harder - with much more guitar work. Listening to the tapes later - I did pick out several mistakes I’d made - but covered pretty well.

I didn’t even stay with the band more than a couple months – once I realized what a bunch of cheesedick assholes these people were. That really pissed Dave off. He became an even bigger prick, than he was before.

And in case you’re wondering – nope – I haven’t seen him in probably 20 years.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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09-02-2017, 06:28 AM
RE: When Someone Tells You "NO".
Things were rough for my first husband and I and the girls. In a small town with few opportunities for jobs and some addiction issues my husband had made me decide that we needed to leave that area and start over somewhere new. How was I going to manage that? I decided to join the military. I was 25, had two kids, and had never been and athletic or outdoors kind of person. Everyone in my family said I would never make it through basic training.

Every day of basic when things were rough and I was over-tired and stressed and ready to say screw this...I was driven on by my need to prove all the naysayers wrong. So, yeah, I made it through basic...I did things I never thought I could do. I passed my final PT test with stress fractures in my pelvic bones. And then I made it through AIT.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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09-02-2017, 07:12 AM
RE: When Someone Tells You "NO".
More often than not, the "no" comes from inside my own head rather than from someone else. Those are the hardest ones to beat.

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Because sometimes they're wrong, and sometimes they're right.
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09-02-2017, 07:57 AM
RE: When Someone Tells You "NO".
In my early 20s I bought a dilapidated house - cheap. It was totally falling apart and I set about fixing it up.

So, after getting done with all the hard stuff like replacing rotten floors and such (with the help of a series of books and occasional hired muscle) I decided to sand the old wood floors where they were still preserved.

I went to a tool rental place to rent a sander. The guy told me I couldn't rent one because I would not know how to use it. Just refused, he said I would break the sander.

Pissed me off. Yes, I was young and female, but!!!!!!! Went to another place and rented one and sanded my little heart out.

That entire thing was based on people telling me I could not - could not buy a house, could not fix it, could not get a loan..... but the man with the sander took the cake.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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09-02-2017, 08:40 AM
RE: When Someone Tells You "NO".
It doesn't really bother me if someone tells me I'm not capable of doing something. I guess I just never really cared what other people think. I know what I can do, so I give two fucks what others think. It doesn't really give me a fire if someone says you can't do something. I feel like it's more of a weakness of their own, than anything to do with me and what I am capable of.
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09-02-2017, 08:50 AM
RE: When Someone Tells You "NO".
I have always been curious to see if I could do something. Not for or because of someone. Simply out of my own interest.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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09-02-2017, 10:40 AM
RE: When Someone Tells You "NO".
Basic training, sure. Learning to play "La Villa Strangiato", from Rush -- and learning to play guitar at that level in general -- yep.

But most all the people in my life are encouraging.
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09-02-2017, 11:18 AM
RE: When Someone Tells You "NO".
(09-02-2017 10:40 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  Basic training, sure. Learning to play "La Villa Strangiato", from Rush -- and learning to play guitar at that level in general -- yep.

You sure picked a high mountain to climb learning LVS. Both Lee and Lifeson said that it was one of the hardest pieces they've ever had to record.
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09-02-2017, 11:34 AM (This post was last modified: 09-02-2017 01:56 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: When Someone Tells You "NO".
(09-02-2017 06:12 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  What’s your reaction when someone tells you you’re not capable of doing something?

They're usually right, so I just go "So, how 'bout 'dem Bears?" and do it anyway and poof, now I'm capable. Smile

#sigh
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09-02-2017, 12:41 PM (This post was last modified: 09-02-2017 12:51 PM by Thumpalumpacus.)
RE: When Someone Tells You "NO".
(09-02-2017 11:18 AM)Heath_Tierney Wrote:  You sure picked a high mountain to climb learning LVS. Both Lee and Lifeson said that it was one of the hardest pieces they've ever had to record.

It is. I understand it took about forty takes to record it in one pass, performing as a band -- i.e. no overdubs.

I can play the first solo with no problem, but the second one (where they're going back and forth between C and F# in a tritone motif) is one I simply improvise. Big Grin (I use G major as the scale, but go modal with it to emphasize the tonics they're playing.) Played it onstage once in my life, at an open-mic. All five musicians in attendance were slack-jawed. The pretty barmaid was bored. Smile

I'm a bit rusty on it now, having playing so many years acoustic-only -- but I can still play the song's structure with no issues.
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