When Someone Tells You "NO".
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09-02-2017, 01:41 PM
RE: When Someone Tells You "NO".
I'm not all that good at combatting no when it comes from me, but for external noes, that depends on the source. If it's a peer saying I can't do something, that doesn't motivate me one way or the other.

If it's a boss or teacher or other authority figure, then I will work like crazy to prove them wrong. I know that's pathological and a bad character trait, but it's how I roll. I drink up every bit of knowledge and skill they have to give, get the approval or job, then move on. Once I've conquered the no I have no interest in sticking around.

It's been a while, though, since somebody told me no about myself. Now I work like crazy fighting noes by proxy, plentiful since I became a parent of an autistic child.

A little more than 10 years ago, an important doctor in the autism field at Children's Hospital in Boston told me my child would never be able to handle an abstract concept, that I should adjust my aspirations for my child way, way, way down. College? No way. Put him in a special school where he'll be able to cope, hope that someday he'll be able to bag groceries somewhere.

Every few years I write this big doctor a polite and informative letter about what my son's been up to. The last was about my son's acceptance to three colleges and some other facts about his senior year in high school. It's deeply satisfying--and I know that it's not at all gracious of me--to tell the doc how misguided his predictions were. I always mention my hope that he's not being so fucking judgmental and dismissive these days. (I leave out the swears)
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