When does dating criteria get to specific?
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12-10-2012, 09:41 PM
RE: When does dating criteria get to specific?
Kunoxian,

You asked when is your date criteria too specific?

It's an ambiguous question.

Did you mean:
a) When do you (the reader) feel that you've become too exclusive when detailing / specifying your selection criteria?
b) When does one's (the general public's / "my" (the writer's)) selection criteria become too specific?

The answer to a) is when I realise I'm not satisfying the needs of my inner ape.
This is a very short while after the realisation that looking for the "perfect" mate using pre-defined criteria excludes potential liaisons that could have broadened my horizon and opened up new experiences.
This happens shortly after the realisation that although many of these criteria are experiential, in truth, many are imposed by the culture that I grew up in.

The answer to b) is whenever your short-list is < 1.

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13-10-2012, 02:40 AM
RE: When does dating criteria get to specific?
I've seen people cease speaking to a potential date simply because of the way they said "Hello". Literally.

I realize we've all got our personal standards and we have every right to make them specific, but personally, I think "you lost me at 'Hello'" is just a little too far.

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13-10-2012, 03:03 AM
RE: When does dating criteria get to specific?
(12-10-2012 04:28 PM)poolboyg88 Wrote:  If it's YOUR criteria, for YOUR partner, it can never get too specific.

You owe yourself to have the best possible partner that you think you deserve. And you are NOT obligated to settle for less, and should NEVER feel like you have to settle for less.

Unless you are a pansexual, in which you'd settle for a relationship with a shoe box if it meant anything. xD jk, jk

Stereotyping.

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13-10-2012, 03:09 AM
RE: When does dating criteria get to specific?
People are too picky about things that don't really matter.

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13-10-2012, 05:01 AM
When does dating criteria get to specific?
(13-10-2012 03:09 AM)frankiej Wrote:  People are too picky about things that don't really matter.

Sounds to me like you're being too picky about people who are too picky. Consider

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13-10-2012, 05:43 AM
RE: When does dating criteria get to specific?
My criteria has always been extremely specific. But I can afford to be picky, I have SPD and NPD. So it's no big deal to me, I could go through my whole life with never being in a relationship and I wouldn't give it a second thought.

So my 3 criteria are (in order of importance):

1: Filthy stinking rich
2: All about me.
3: About to die with no living heirs or family and wants to get married today and leave me their fortune.

As for casual sex?
Criteria:
1: Erx's mom.

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13-10-2012, 11:26 AM
RE: When does dating criteria get to specific?
(12-10-2012 09:41 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Kunoxian,

You asked when is your date criteria too specific?

It's an ambiguous question.

Did you mean:
a) When do you (the reader) feel that you've become too exclusive when detailing / specifying your selection criteria?
b) When does one's (the general public's / "my" (the writer's)) selection criteria become too specific?

The answer to a) is when I realise I'm not satisfying the needs of my inner ape.
This is a very short while after the realisation that looking for the "perfect" mate using pre-defined criteria excludes potential liaisons that could have broadened my horizon and opened up new experiences.
This happens shortly after the realisation that although many of these criteria are experiential, in truth, many are imposed by the culture that I grew up in.

The answer to b) is whenever your short-list is < 1.

I meant "a"

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13-10-2012, 11:30 AM
RE: When does dating criteria get to specific?
(13-10-2012 11:26 AM)kunoxian drive Wrote:  
(12-10-2012 09:41 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Kunoxian,

You asked when is your date criteria too specific?

It's an ambiguous question.

Did you mean:
a) When do you (the reader) feel that you've become too exclusive when detailing / specifying your selection criteria?
b) When does one's (the general public's / "my" (the writer's)) selection criteria become too specific?

The answer to a) is when I realise I'm not satisfying the needs of my inner ape.
This is a very short while after the realisation that looking for the "perfect" mate using pre-defined criteria excludes potential liaisons that could have broadened my horizon and opened up new experiences.
This happens shortly after the realisation that although many of these criteria are experiential, in truth, many are imposed by the culture that I grew up in.

The answer to b) is whenever your short-list is < 1.

I meant "a"

In that case, to re-word my previous answer... when I haven't got laid for more than 48 hours.

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13-10-2012, 08:40 PM
RE: When does dating criteria get to specific?
(13-10-2012 05:43 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  My criteria has always been extremely specific. But I can afford to be picky, I have SPD and NPD. So it's no big deal to me, I could go through my whole life with never being in a relationship and I wouldn't give it a second thought.

...
I always thought of SPD and NPD as sort of opposites, I have SPD and asperger's, I have no desire to be around humans except unless it's to study them, and I never, ever make eye contact with them. =D I feel fortunate that I don't feel the need to spend lots of time looking for relationships. Other people seem to place a lot of value on these things, and spend a LOT of time worrying over them.

I dumped my last boyfriend because he "found Jesus." I considered it an irreconcilable difference.

Since then, I just haven't met anyone I'd even consider dating because I'm very specific and also very peevish.

I don't think dating criteria can be too specific. If there are things you are absolutely unable/unwilling to compromise on, then you should dismiss anyone with these "problems." I realize all relationships involve some compromise, but sometimes you just can't.
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13-10-2012, 10:34 PM
RE: When does dating criteria get to specific?
(13-10-2012 08:40 PM)amyb Wrote:  
(13-10-2012 05:43 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  My criteria has always been extremely specific. But I can afford to be picky, I have SPD and NPD. So it's no big deal to me, I could go through my whole life with never being in a relationship and I wouldn't give it a second thought.

...
I always thought of SPD and NPD as sort of opposites, I have SPD and asperger's, I have no desire to be around humans except unless it's to study them, and I never, ever make eye contact with them. =D I feel fortunate that I don't feel the need to spend lots of time looking for relationships. Other people seem to place a lot of value on these things, and spend a LOT of time worrying over them.

I dumped my last boyfriend because he "found Jesus." I considered it an irreconcilable difference.

Since then, I just haven't met anyone I'd even consider dating because I'm very specific and also very peevish.

I don't think dating criteria can be too specific. If there are things you are absolutely unable/unwilling to compromise on, then you should dismiss anyone with these "problems." I realize all relationships involve some compromise, but sometimes you just can't.

Not really. NPD is more to do with the person themselves, how they act and behave etc.. where as SPD is more in relation to how that person interacts with other people. To say I have NPD maaay be a bit of a stretch, I know I certainly fulfill every single bit of criteria of SPD but there are several criteria for NPD that I don't fall into while there are a lot of criteria for NPD I fit perfectly.
I know exactly what you mean about relationships. I truly am thankful I am the way I am, it seems like way more effort then it's worth. I mean growing up at high school with people around me in and out of relationships etc.. You see the crap on TV, guys doing anything for manipulative pair of breasts etc.. Girls spending weeks crying over some douche bag etc.. I'm glad I'm not like that.

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