Where to start with Old Testament
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28-09-2015, 03:53 PM
Where to start with Old Testament
Read plenty of stuff in the bible like almost all of us have, but never actual whole books in it.

An old friend of the family passed a few weeks back and her family was having an estate sale. I picked up a few books and some cookie cutters and a wicker basket. Almost thought about picking up these really nice cabinets but I wouldn't had been able to get them home and no real place to put them.

I don't know what these books are
Midnight Bayou
Three roads to Valhalla
Harbin's Ridge

But they seemed like they might be interesting and they look like they are really old. The kind of book with no cover and its just a blank hardbound with a title and no page giving the description of its contents.

The other was an old bible, she was sorta religious but never talked about it with neighbors, at least with me anyway.

The cool thing is that it has the old testament as part of it. So I am wondering, "genesis" aside. Where should I start with this? I know numbers, Deuteronomy and Leviticus is pretty nasty when it comes to all the bat shit insane and immoral crap which is basically what I am looking for to get a few good laughs and to point out to some people out there of what is in the book itself.

Whats a good one to read for a few wtf moments?


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28-09-2015, 04:02 PM
RE: Where to start with Old Testament
I'd start at Genesis but feel free to skip large sections. It's kind of like reading Moby Dick, where even in good college English lit classes they let you skip a hundred chapters in the middle that just talk about whales and whaling.

Any time you see "begat": skip. Any time you see "thou shalt": skip. Any time you see "cubits" and find yourself mired in instructions for constructing a boat or a temple: skip.

After the first five books, you get to a bunch of stories about kings. There's battles and adultery and other fun stuff to read.

Psalms: skip unless you like poetry. In that case, read. Proverbs: skip.

Books about prophets: have some good stories. God throws hissy fit after hissy fit. Read, skip the parts you find too repetitive.

Song of Solomon: read with glass of wine and companion of your preferred gender within easy reach.
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28-09-2015, 04:03 PM
RE: Where to start with Old Testament
A fire.

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28-09-2015, 04:20 PM
RE: Where to start with Old Testament
The drug induced gibberish from Ezekiel.

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28-09-2015, 04:26 PM
RE: Where to start with Old Testament
In the beginning...
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28-09-2015, 04:31 PM
RE: Where to start with Old Testament
(28-09-2015 04:20 PM)Marozz Wrote:  The drug induced gibberish from Ezekiel.

Daniel's pretty trippy too. And Job.

#sigh
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28-09-2015, 04:43 PM
RE: Where to start with Old Testament
I agree on Daniel and Job. They are high on entertainment value. Or you could go with the biblical erotica of the Song of Solomon?

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28-09-2015, 04:45 PM
RE: Where to start with Old Testament
I like Genesis, Job, Jonah, and the Song of Solomon.
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28-09-2015, 04:56 PM
RE: Where to start with Old Testament
(28-09-2015 04:43 PM)Octapulse Wrote:  I agree on Daniel and Job. They are high on entertainment value. Or you could go with the biblical erotica of the Song of Solomon?

Yes. The song of Solomon is about the only thing worth reading in the entire bible. The rest of it is nonsense.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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28-09-2015, 04:57 PM
RE: Where to start with Old Testament
(28-09-2015 03:53 PM)Shadow Fox Wrote:  Read plenty of stuff in the bible like almost all of us have, but never actual whole books in it.

An old friend of the family passed a few weeks back and her family was having an estate sale. I picked up a few books and some cookie cutters and a wicker basket. Almost thought about picking up these really nice cabinets but I wouldn't had been able to get them home and no real place to put them.

I don't know what these books are
Midnight Bayou
Three roads to Valhalla
Harbin's Ridge

But they seemed like they might be interesting and they look like they are really old. The kind of book with no cover and its just a blank hardbound with a title and no page giving the description of its contents.

The other was an old bible, she was sorta religious but never talked about it with neighbors, at least with me anyway.

The cool thing is that it has the old testament as part of it. So I am wondering, "genesis" aside. Where should I start with this? I know numbers, Deuteronomy and Leviticus is pretty nasty when it comes to all the bat shit insane and immoral crap which is basically what I am looking for to get a few good laughs and to point out to some people out there of what is in the book itself.

Whats a good one to read for a few wtf moments?

For wtf moments, read Judges. You get Samson and also genocidal war based off of plagiarism of the Sodom rape crowd story.
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