Who's had Family Stop Talking to You?
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21-06-2017, 02:32 PM
Who's had Family Stop Talking to You?
Who among you have had family essentially want to stop talking to you for one reason or another? Could be any reason, not just related to atheism. Family feuding over something, atheism, LGBTQ stuff, disowned by parents, etc. etc.?

I'm wondering, for those comfortable with sharing, what your stories are. What caused that rift? Were you close before that issue occurred? Do you think it will ever get patched up? How does that impact your relationship with other family members?
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21-06-2017, 02:41 PM
RE: Who's had Family Stop Talking to You?
I stopped talking to my aunt who is JW. She had right to believe whatever idiocy she wants but expecting that I won't say something about nonsense phrases like "god don't give you more than you can handle" is just plain stupid. Similarly I don't talk with my uncle who believes whatever tripe right wing talking heads in TV sell him.

I also don't talk with rest of my family, not cause of some specific reason, I just don't believe that "blood ties" mean something. These people are strangers as far as I'm concerned. My father was your brother? That's cool I guess but so what? would be apt description of my stance.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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21-06-2017, 02:48 PM
RE: Who's had Family Stop Talking to You?
(21-06-2017 02:41 PM)Szuchow Wrote:  I stopped talking to my aunt who is JW. She had right to believe whatever idiocy she wants but expecting that I won't say something about nonsense phrases like "god don't give you more than you can handle" is just plain stupid. Similarly I don't talk with my uncle who believes whatever tripe right wing talking heads in TV sell him.

I also don't talk with rest of my family, not cause of some specific reason, I just don't believe that "blood ties" mean something. These people are strangers as far as I'm concerned. My father was your brother? That's cool I guess but so what? would be apt description of my stance.

I very rarely talk with extended family. Especially on my dad's side, so I hear you there. But that really wasn't a big priority in my family growing up.
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21-06-2017, 02:50 PM
RE: Who's had Family Stop Talking to You?
(21-06-2017 02:32 PM)Emma Wrote:  I'm wondering, for those comfortable with sharing, what your stories are. What caused that rift? Were you close before that issue occurred? Do you think it will ever get patched up? How does that impact your relationship with other family members?

I never had that with family. My family always went by live and let live.

I had it with a friend however. Weird story actually and it keeps nagging me. I thought of him as being my best friend for almost 20 years actually. What's making it worse is that I don't actually know what caused it. One day everything was fine, the next day he didn't take my calls anymore and didn't respond to my mails. On August 15th it will be five years since I last heard from him. And for the life of me I couldn't say why. Which is probably worse than simply going seperate ways for a rock solid reason.

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21-06-2017, 02:51 PM
RE: Who's had Family Stop Talking to You?
My eldest sister quit talking to the entire family except my youngest sister, about 25 years ago. She was going through her second divorce, and was having a house issue. Rather than call me or one of her other three brothers for help, she let some jovies into her house, one of whom fixed whatever the problem was. She's been with that sect since then. To this day I haven't a clue as to why, except for the jovies probably being her new "family". Rolleyes If I happen to see her out in public, I get no eye contact or recognition that I'm anyone she ever even known. We used to be pretty close. Unsure As far as atheism is concerned, I'm in the closet to most of the family. My wife and her mother are True Believers™.
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21-06-2017, 02:54 PM
RE: Who's had Family Stop Talking to You?
(21-06-2017 02:48 PM)Emma Wrote:  
(21-06-2017 02:41 PM)Szuchow Wrote:  I stopped talking to my aunt who is JW. She had right to believe whatever idiocy she wants but expecting that I won't say something about nonsense phrases like "god don't give you more than you can handle" is just plain stupid. Similarly I don't talk with my uncle who believes whatever tripe right wing talking heads in TV sell him.

I also don't talk with rest of my family, not cause of some specific reason, I just don't believe that "blood ties" mean something. These people are strangers as far as I'm concerned. My father was your brother? That's cool I guess but so what? would be apt description of my stance.

I very rarely talk with extended family. Especially on my dad's side, so I hear you there. But that really wasn't a big priority in my family growing up.

Mother tried to impart value of familial ties to me but she failed in this. Can't say I'm concerned with it.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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21-06-2017, 03:17 PM
RE: Who's had Family Stop Talking to You?
My husband's family fractured irreparably over a couple of events. First, my nephew (my sister-in-law's kid) died of arsenic poisoning, and my mother-in-law had contacted CPS over that--which she was entirely wrong to do--which resulted in her having no further dealings with my SIL and BIL. Then my MIL died and there were further breaks over her will, so now my SIL speaks to none of us.

My family: my father is hyper-religious and getting worse with age. My mother left him and us when I was a teenager; she's had very little contact with any of us since then, since she likes her pets and wine a lot better than she ever liked us. My sister cut off all contact with the family about 15 years ago, although it took her a couple of years to get my father to stop stalking her. I think I'm more collateral damage than the real target, but it's still sad for me not to talk to her.

I've recently (December) told my father I don't want to see him anymore. He was abusive towards me physically--and in other ways--growing up, and I feel that I've done my duty towards him by letting him get to know his grandson. Now that my son's in college, I'm done. I reassured my father that I had no intention of interfering in his relationship with my son and have passed on all of his letters, etc. My father's reaction has been a barrage of letters, attempted bribes, and threats, including trying to convert my husband to Christianity so that he can exercise some spiritual authority over me. It's exhausting to think this will probably go on for quite some time to come, but I have hopes that eventually things will settle down. I hope he doesn't hire a private detective to follow me around like he did with my sister, but I wouldn't put it past him.

Fortunately my family of choice, that is, my husband and son, is going strong.
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21-06-2017, 04:19 PM
RE: Who's had Family Stop Talking to You?
Me, me, me! My sister hasn't spoken to me in 8 years. Hey, that's not so bad though! She hasn't spoken to her only adult child, his wife and probably her only grandchid in 12 years. Her son became a psychologist to try and figure out what the hell was wrong with his mother. He's still trying to figue it out. But I don't need a degree in psychology, I knew she was an asshole when I was a little kid.

If any of you have ever seen the movie Ordinary People with Mary Tylor Moore, the woman she plays in that movie is so close to my sister's personality it's frightening. The difference is that my sister isn't as nice as the character in the film and is 300 times more anal retentive than Mary Tylor Moore's character.

My sister will go to her grave never speaking to me. She doesn't speak to one of my brothers either. Hummm. There seems to be a pattern here.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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21-06-2017, 04:28 PM
RE: Who's had Family Stop Talking to You?
Didnt talk to my mom since ca. 1992 until she passed away earlier this year. Accused me of trying to assasinate her, forge the last will of my grandparents and other insane stuff. Was completely and batshit crazy and deluded (which her neighbours confirmed after i talked to them when she passed away). Last thing i told her in 1992 was that we will meet at her funeral next time. This happened past February.

My dad didnt talk to his mom (my grandma) for about a decade, although we lived just a few km from her. It was due to his sister (my aunt) being homosexual, having a gf with a little son, and my grandma treating him (almost) like me (the *real* grandson).

Ceterum censeo, religionem delendam esse
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21-06-2017, 04:30 PM
RE: Who's had Family Stop Talking to You?
I haven't spoken to my mother in a decade or so. The list of reasons is too long to get into and too convoluted to fully explain. I also have stopped reaching out to family members on her side of the family because I don't want to hear the BS that comes with it.

There were years when my sister and I didn't speak and that was mom-driven. However, I offered an olive branch when dad was at the end of his life as it was his one big wish to see us civil again before he died. We are in contact though we don't see each other often due to the geographic distance between us.

I haven't talked to my brother in quite a while. Mom is also a big player in that drama but more so it was his complete assholery when dad died that put an end to that relationship.

My oldest hasn't talked to me in months because my husband invited my son over to a BBQ to thank him for some help. She found out she wasn't invited and determined I was at fault. It means she will be able to ignore my 60th birthday next week. It won't be the first birthday she has ignored in the last few years.

Families are dangerous places. Undecided

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat

Are my Chakras on straight?
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