Who should I love?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
15-05-2016, 04:39 PM
Who should I love?
I don't think I'm good at loving family. I love my friends, though. I love my mom. Other people, I like and care about, but I would feel dishonest if I said that I love them. I feel really bad about that. For years, I've been having a hard time telling my dad "I love you" and I know that has made him unhappy. Unsure

☆☆☆
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-05-2016, 04:42 PM
RE: Who should I love?
(15-05-2016 04:39 PM)CosmicRaven Wrote:  I don't think I'm good at loving family. I love my friends, though. I love my mom. Other people, I like and care about, but I would feel dishonest if I said that I love them. I feel really bad about that. For years, I've been having a hard time telling my dad "I love you" and I know that has made him unhappy. Unsure

You can love me, OK?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Born Again Pagan's post
15-05-2016, 04:50 PM
RE: Who should I love?
You don't need to be "good" at loving anyone. Love is a complicated feeling. You either feel it or you don't, you can't choose to love someone.

You may also love someone without realizing it. This often happens when you have misunderstood the meaning of the word "love" and you expect it to be something very special.

But in any case, you don't need to feel pressured to love anyone. I care about people and love them in different degrees. I can't tell my father that I love him and I still feel awkward around him because he's been away most of my life. I do care about him, but eh. Who cares. No need to put labels on your feelings.

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like undergroundp's post
15-05-2016, 04:50 PM
RE: Who should I love?
(15-05-2016 04:39 PM)CosmicRaven Wrote:  I don't think I'm good at loving family. I love my friends, though. I love my mom. Other people, I like and care about, but I would feel dishonest if I said that I love them. I feel really bad about that. For years, I've been having a hard time telling my dad "I love you" and I know that has made him unhappy. Unsure

Love who you come to love. There is no real choice.

You are asking many questions of yourself to others. Just be patient. Think to yourself. The answers will come. Trust yourself that you will make both good and bad decisions. That's life.

As Lennon said, "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans."

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like Banjo's post
15-05-2016, 04:51 PM
RE: Who should I love?
(15-05-2016 04:50 PM)undergroundp Wrote:  You don't need to be "good" at loving anyone. Love is a complicated feeling. You either feel it or you don't, you can't choose to love someone.

You may also love someone without realizing it. This often happens when you have misunderstood the meaning of the word "love" and you expect it to be something very special.

But in any case, you don't need to feel pressured to love anyone. I care about people and love them in different degrees. I can't tell my father that I love him and I still feel awkward around him because he's been away most of my life. I do care about him, but eh. Who cares. No need to put labels on your feelings.

Agreed.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Banjo's post
15-05-2016, 04:55 PM
RE: Who should I love?
(15-05-2016 04:50 PM)undergroundp Wrote:  You don't need to be "good" at loving anyone. Love is a complicated feeling. You either feel it or you don't, you can't choose to love someone.

You may also love someone without realizing it. This often happens when you have misunderstood the meaning of the word "love" and you expect it to be something very special.

But in any case, you don't need to feel pressured to love anyone. I care about people and love them in different degrees. I can't tell my father that I love him and I still feel awkward around him because he's been away most of my life. I do care about him, but eh. Who cares. No need to put labels on your feelings.

I see.

I know that I have a misunderstanding if what love is. I can admit this. It was never really clear to me. It only became more confusing in recent years because I hear people say that love is a choice and not a feeling at all. It's confusing to me.

I really appreciate all these answers.

☆☆☆
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-05-2016, 05:01 PM
RE: Who should I love?
I'm not good at loving family just because they're related, either. Love who you want to, and get out of that environment to one where you can think for yourself ASAP. Think of the person you have to be right now as a hermit crab-style shell that you can shred soon.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like julep's post
15-05-2016, 05:11 PM
RE: Who should I love?
(15-05-2016 04:39 PM)CosmicRaven Wrote:  I don't think I'm good at loving family. I love my friends, though. I love my mom. Other people, I like and care about, but I would feel dishonest if I said that I love them. I feel really bad about that. For years, I've been having a hard time telling my dad "I love you" and I know that has made him unhappy. Unsure

Tell your dad you love him whether you feel it or not. You can reconcile the feelings over time, but it sounds like he wants to hear it and you should give him this little pleasure while you still can.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Aliza's post
15-05-2016, 05:11 PM
RE: Who should I love?
Love is something you can learn to do but it is not something you can manufacture at will or because you feel you should. Many people feel at odds with what they think love is or might be or should be. That's really very normal.

For me love is simply caring deeply about the well being of someone you know personally. That means a variety of love to me. My children and grandchildren I love more than my own life is worth, others less so but I still love them. It don't think love is just one thing or another, I think it's as variable as colors on a spectrum.

I think your youth is a contributing factor here as in some of your other posts because you seem overly hard on yourself about your expectations on your feelings or thoughts. I know I've always been my own hardest critic and for many that never goes away but experience can help with that.

So my thoughts are, question yourself because it's good to do self evaluations but don't be so critical of what you feel or think. You don't have to conform, you are unique and that's not a bad thing. In fact. in my book it's a very good thing. Smile

[Image: dnw9krH.jpg?4]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Heatheness's post
15-05-2016, 10:08 PM
RE: Who should I love?
Loving someone is different than being loving to someone. Not that anyone's saying otherwise...I just thought it pertinent to point out.

As you were.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 7 users Like Stark Raving's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: