Who wants to pull my finger? And other fart stories.
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19-07-2013, 01:35 PM
RE: Who wants to pull my finger? And other fart stories.
(19-07-2013 12:57 PM)ghostexorcist Wrote:  What about pushing too hard and crapping yourself?




That's just fucking hilarious. George Brett speaks truth to power. I got his rookie card, I think it just went up in value. Big Grin

Even though I live 1/2 mile from work and I got a corner office all of 10 feet from the bathroom I keep a spare change of clothes in my office 'cause sometimes 10 feet is just a bridge too far. In going on 30 years only 1 colleague has ever asked me about the change of clothes. We haven't spoken since. ... Good thing we got showers in the bathrooms in the event of chemical spills. It's the janitors I feel bad for.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
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Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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19-07-2013, 01:36 PM
RE: Who wants to pull my finger? And other fart stories.
(19-07-2013 01:21 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(19-07-2013 01:11 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  I believe you refer to the insidious shart.

If you've found you've sharted in your pants, Emily Post's Rules of Sharting Etiquette requires that you leave your sharty undies in the bathroom for some poor sucker to throw away.

Why don't we have a queefing Shartnado thread?

BRILLIANT!
This is the sort of question that should be brought up in the Forum Issues section.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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19-07-2013, 01:38 PM
RE: Who wants to pull my finger? And other fart stories.
(19-07-2013 01:36 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  
(19-07-2013 01:21 PM)Chas Wrote:  Why don't we have a queefing Shartnado thread?

BRILLIANT!
This is the sort of question that should be brought up in the Forum Issues section.

I would, but the Authority hates me. Dodgy

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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19-07-2013, 01:39 PM
RE: Who wants to pull my finger? And other fart stories.
(19-07-2013 01:38 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(19-07-2013 01:36 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  BRILLIANT!
This is the sort of question that should be brought up in the Forum Issues section.

I would, but the Authority hates me. Dodgy

They fear what they can't understand.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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19-07-2013, 01:44 PM
RE: Who wants to pull my finger? And other fart stories.
Years ago I was standing in a long checkout line at Barnes & Noble when a woman sidled up to a nearby book rack. She was browsing with her back to us when all of a sudden she let loose with one of the most raucous, ear-rending farts I've ever heard,

She played it off like nothing happened while everyone in line tittered or rolled their eyes - until The Stink hit us. It rolled through our ranks like an invisible, oily cloud, and then just hung there. No one wanted to lose their place, so we endured it as best we could.

Eventually the foul stench dissipated, just in time for her significant other to come up behind her for a hug. I shudder to think of how close the poor bastard came to sharing our fate and forever associating her ass with such a noxious emission. I know I lost a bit of my innocence that day...
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19-07-2013, 01:53 PM
RE: Who wants to pull my finger? And other fart stories.
(19-07-2013 01:44 PM)Atheist_pilgrim Wrote:  Years ago I was standing in a long checkout line at Barnes & Noble when a woman sidled up to a nearby book rack. She was browsing with her back to us when all of a sudden she let loose with one of the most raucous, ear-rending farts I've ever heard,

She played it off like nothing happened while everyone in line tittered or rolled their eyes - until The Stink hit us. It rolled through our ranks like an invisible, oily cloud, and then just hung there. No one wanted to lose their place, so we endured it as best we could.

Eventually the foul stench dissipated, just in time for her significant other to come up behind her for a hug. I shudder to think of how close the poor bastard came to sharing our fate and forever associating her ass with such a noxious emission. I know I lost a bit of my innocence that day...

That's the most poetic fart story I've ever heard.

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19-07-2013, 02:02 PM
RE: Who wants to pull my finger? And other fart stories.
One of the loudest farts I have ever made was one time at the gym doing leg presses. I didn't really know if I should be proud or embarrassed...
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19-07-2013, 02:11 PM
RE: Who wants to pull my finger? And other fart stories.
This thread has me dying. Fart stories rock.

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19-07-2013, 02:48 PM (This post was last modified: 19-07-2013 06:17 PM by Erxomai.)
Who wants to pull my finger? And other fart stories.
(19-07-2013 01:53 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(19-07-2013 01:44 PM)Atheist_pilgrim Wrote:  Years ago I was standing in a long checkout line at Barnes & Noble when a woman sidled up to a nearby book rack. She was browsing with her back to us when all of a sudden she let loose with one of the most raucous, ear-rending farts I've ever heard,

She played it off like nothing happened while everyone in line tittered or rolled their eyes - until The Stink hit us. It rolled through our ranks like an invisible, oily cloud, and then just hung there. No one wanted to lose their place, so we endured it as best we could.

Eventually the foul stench dissipated, just in time for her significant other to come up behind her for a hug. I shudder to think of how close the poor bastard came to sharing our fate and forever associating her ass with such a noxious emission. I know I lost a bit of my innocence that day...

That's the most poetic fart story I've ever heard.

This was the best fart part:

"It rolled through our ranks like an invisible, oily cloud, and then just hung there. No one wanted to lose their place, so we endured it as best we could."
Bowing

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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19-07-2013, 02:48 PM
RE: Who wants to pull my finger? And other fart stories.
(19-07-2013 12:57 PM)ghostexorcist Wrote:  What about pushing too hard and crapping yourself?

That's called sharting. Drinking Beverage
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