Who was Jesus?
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26-12-2011, 09:23 AM
Who was Jesus?
Just for this thread, let's assume a real Jesus existed.
What kind of person would he have been
How did he act, feel, think?

I have two theories, feel free to add/argue/whatever
btw this is not the whole thing I imagine, I am leaving out the whole psychology and deep stuff, just drawing a rough picture here:

Theory 1:
Jesus was a normal nice guy for his time. He liked to help people. He was smart and could teach people things.
He was a carpenter so he would have been known by the people in his town because he did stuff for them.
Maybe he would be a good listener.
So people generally liked him.
So at some point people would start telling stories about him and how he helped them with something, how he knew a medicine, how he was able to fix the door, how he gave bread to a hungry family, how this and that and even more. People would start trying to top each other with their stories how he helped them.
"But I saw him feeding X people with one fish!" (maybe he only showed them how to fish properly)
"But I saw him walking on water" (maybe he was only standing on a low bridge or a boat)
"But I saw him healing the blind" (Maybe someone was just sick and he knew a medicine)
These stories would be spread around town and the whole area. To lead to
"Did you hear of Jesus? He fed X people with one fish!"
"Did you hear of Jesus? He can walk on water!"
"Did you hear of Jesus? He heals the blind!"
> By that time it is only a story, no eye witness. There is a guy called "Jesus" in a nearby town who supposedly does miracles.

By this point you don't even have to wait for 40-60 Years to write a bogus story about someone you don't know.


2:Theory
There were news about a King of the Jews. And a guy called Jesus used to be in the Temple a lot. He would talk, he was maybe a very smart guy who could teach things and be a good listener. He was maybe a very religious guy. He had heard about that king, too.
He had a lot of charisma, he talked in and to bigger groups. People felt heard and understood. They thought he is that king who has to lead them. They became his followers.
At some point he actually believed that himself (even if he didn't in the beginning) and this would be when the mess started.
People would of course also talk a lot and the news about that guy "Jesus" would be spread and to make him sound even cooler you would be like
"Do you know that guy Jesus? He is our saviour, he won't only lead us out of our misery he also does miracles A B and C!"

And again I don't even need to wait for 40-60 Years to have someone write cool stories about Jesus without even knowing him or having seen him.

---------------------------------------

What do you think?

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26-12-2011, 11:02 AM
RE: Who was Jesus?
(26-12-2011 09:23 AM)Leela Wrote:  What do you think?

Plausible. More so than the divinity thing.

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26-12-2011, 06:20 PM
RE: Who was Jesus?
(26-12-2011 09:23 AM)Leela Wrote:  Just for this thread, let's assume a real Jesus existed.
What kind of person would he have been
How did he act, feel, think?

I have two theories, feel free to add/argue/whatever
btw this is not the whole thing I imagine, I am leaving out the whole psychology and deep stuff, just drawing a rough picture here:

Theory 1:
Jesus was a normal nice guy for his time. He liked to help people. He was smart and could teach people things.
He was a carpenter so he would have been known by the people in his town because he did stuff for them.
Maybe he would be a good listener.
So people generally liked him.
So at some point people would start telling stories about him and how he helped them with something, how he knew a medicine, how he was able to fix the door, how he gave bread to a hungry family, how this and that and even more. People would start trying to top each other with their stories how he helped them.
"But I saw him feeding X people with one fish!" (maybe he only showed them how to fish properly)
"But I saw him walking on water" (maybe he was only standing on a low bridge or a boat)
"But I saw him healing the blind" (Maybe someone was just sick and he knew a medicine)
These stories would be spread around town and the whole area. To lead to
"Did you hear of Jesus? He fed X people with one fish!"
"Did you hear of Jesus? He can walk on water!"
"Did you hear of Jesus? He heals the blind!"
> By that time it is only a story, no eye witness. There is a guy called "Jesus" in a nearby town who supposedly does miracles.

By this point you don't even have to wait for 40-60 Years to write a bogus story about someone you don't know.


2:Theory
There were news about a King of the Jews. And a guy called Jesus used to be in the Temple a lot. He would talk, he was maybe a very smart guy who could teach things and be a good listener. He was maybe a very religious guy. He had heard about that king, too.
He had a lot of charisma, he talked in and to bigger groups. People felt heard and understood. They thought he is that king who has to lead them. They became his followers.
At some point he actually believed that himself (even if he didn't in the beginning) and this would be when the mess started.
People would of course also talk a lot and the news about that guy "Jesus" would be spread and to make him sound even cooler you would be like
"Do you know that guy Jesus? He is our saviour, he won't only lead us out of our misery he also does miracles A B and C!"

And again I don't even need to wait for 40-60 Years to have someone write cool stories about Jesus without even knowing him or having seen him.

---------------------------------------

What do you think?

I prefer theory (1)
Actually Jesus is mentioned, very vaguely, by one or two 'non in group' historians.
One reference I think was to "that wandering mad man............";)
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26-12-2011, 06:22 PM
RE: Who was Jesus?
He was the guy that used to mow my lawn when I lived in California.


Oh, sorry, I thought you said it with a Spanish accent.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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26-12-2011, 09:38 PM
RE: Who was Jesus?
I too prefer theory 1, but I have another theory, which can explain his whole story.

Jesus was a time traveller armed with future technology, a pioneer in fact. The first time travel experiment in the history of mankind went awry, causing a rip in space-time. The time-traveller travelled back in time, but with a horrible side-effect - de-ageing. He arrived at his destination in a bright flash of light in front of a virgin. The disturbance in space-time caused the current version of Mary at that period of time to transcend into a version after conception by her husband. Using the final power from his hologram device, he attempted to explain to Mary his mistake and begged for her forgiveness. Mary interpreted it as a divine intervention and praised the Lord. The time travelling project was named Project JETUS which stood for Project Jumping Exponentially to Time Under Space. It was misinterpreted as Jesus, and that is how Jesus got his name.

Due to high frequency of genetic modifications in the future, our time traveller (we shall call him Jesus from now on) is born with higher than level intelligence, but inherited memories of his past, when he was a time-traveller. Faced with the prospect that he will never return back into his time, he went mad and attempted to warp this era and change history using his "natural" genetic advantages.

This explains his ability to speak in parables, create fear and respect among the unintelligent peasants and even high-ranked priests. His parables were in fact not "moral" stories as we all perceive, but in fact vague stories about why achieving time-travel is better than exploring the Andromeda galaxy, in which the proponents of Andromeda travelling are depicted as the antagonists in the story, while proponents of time-travelling are depicted as protagonists, often with "God" protecting them, which is an allusion to the central AI system protecting the Earth and its inhabitants.

With regards to his miracles, they were all due to his genetic abilities such as ethanol conversion, extra-hydrophobic limbs, atomic manipulation and many more.
However, the fatal decision of his parents not choosing impenetrable skin for their son (for each person can only possess 6 unique genetic modifications due to a law passed to control genetic manipulations), have led to his downfall.

With regards to his re-incarnation, it was all due to his ability to regenerate any lost body fluids as his stem cells are more active than usual. This also explains why "water" was seen when one of the guards poked his side, which was in fact pus.
He stayed around for a while after his "re-incarnation" (he was merely unconscious, and his ability to escape the tomb is due to his atomic manipulation, making the rock less dense) to further confuse his disciples.

After our time traveller has vanished, the time-travelling committee have rapidly modified their equipment to survive travelling through time and temporal detection. This allowed temporal detection of our time traveller which sent him back to the future. However, this was in front of his disciples and caused a great temporal disturbance, giving them similar abilities.

And thus this is the story of a time-traveller, who was mistaken to be the Son of God and possesses many miraculous abilities.

THE END

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26-12-2011, 09:46 PM
RE: Who was Jesus?
He was the guy that ensured hell on earth for the next 2000 years for people with brains bigger than the size of an ant.

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26-12-2011, 10:38 PM
 
RE: Who was Jesus?
You want to negate Jesus Christ but here you are two thousand years later still talking about him. In the history of mankind, Jesus Christ has been and still is the most important person to have ever walked the earth. The very fact that such a thing can be said about no one else is something very odd indeed. The fact that this is said about someone who had no wealth and wrote no books, the fact that at least 40 years after his death and resurrection, miraculous, nearly magical, Gospel texts were produced in his name, is beyond my comprehension. The history of civilization is divided at the time of his birth, for God's sake.

And you think you can just pooh-pooh it all because when you read the Gospel all you can say is, "That just doesn't make any sense to me."

Tell me, given the credentials of this lowly human being of mythic proportions, don't you think it's worth examining his life more closely? No one says you have to be a Christian. No one says you have to go to church. No one says you have to stop anything you're doing. In fact, that may be the best way to read the Gospels--from your own perspective. I mean, aren't you at all curious as to who this person was?

Who was Jesus? The greatest person to have ever walked the earth.

I mean seriously, look at my signature. What kind of person would say something like that? What kind of person would brazenly forgive people of the sins they have done against other people--as if they could. Lunatics don't even act like that. I'm telling you, when you go looking for Jesus Christ, you find a mystery. You can dismiss the mystery and walk away, but a thinking person can't do that. They will either follow him, like me. Or they will spend their lives trying to justify why they dont, like you.
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26-12-2011, 10:43 PM
RE: Who was Jesus?
(26-12-2011 10:38 PM)Egor Wrote:  You want to negate Jesus Christ but here you are two thousand years later still talking about him. In the history of mankind, Jesus Christ has been and still is the most important person to have ever walked the earth. The very fact that such a thing can be said about no one else is something very odd indeed. The fact that this is said about someone who had no wealth and wrote no books, the fact that at least 40 years after his death and resurrection, miraculous, nearly magical, Gospel texts were produced in his name, is beyond my comprehension. The history of civilization is divided at the time of his birth, for God's sake.

And you think you can just pooh-pooh it all because when you read the Gospel all you can say is, "That just doesn't make any sense to me."

Tell me, given the credentials of this lowly human being of mythic proportions, don't you think it's worth examining his life more closely? No one says you have to be a Christian. No one says you have to go to church. No one says you have to stop anything you're doing. In fact, that may be the best way to read the Gospels--from your own perspective. I mean, aren't you at all curious as to who this person was?

Yeah yeah, must be real huh, just like when we discuss HORUS, THE GOD OF KINGS who happens to be much older. Get out of here with that nonsense.

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26-12-2011, 10:49 PM
 
RE: Who was Jesus?
(26-12-2011 10:43 PM)Clint Barnett Wrote:  Yeah yeah, must be real huh, just like when we discuss HORUS, THE GOD OF KINGS who happens to be much older. Get out of here with that nonsense.

Who the hell is Horus? Strike that: Who cares? And that's my point. Oh, and by the way, no serious scholar disputes the fact that Jesus was a real person.
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26-12-2011, 11:03 PM
RE: Who was Jesus?
(26-12-2011 10:38 PM)Egor Wrote:  You want to negate Jesus Christ but here you are two thousand years later still talking about him. In the history of mankind, Jesus Christ has been and still is the most important person to have ever walked the earth. The very fact that such a thing can be said about no one else is something very odd indeed.

Muhammad. Gautama Buddha.
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