Why Get Married? (A nosy question)
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13-02-2012, 03:02 PM
RE: Why Get Married? (A nosy question)
(13-02-2012 02:50 PM)germanyt Wrote:  
(13-02-2012 02:45 PM)kineo Wrote:  Yeah, religion is actually one of the last reasons to get married in my opinion.

There are insurance and financial reasons to get married.

More importantly, as a way of nurturing the bond between you and your SO.

There is also the issue of security. A person feels more secure when they know their SO is committed to sticking with them through thick and thin. If you've been with someone for twenty years you've invested in each other, and probably made some serious life-altering concessions to make the relationship work and you may depend on each other greatly. Marriage is a way of feeling more certain that this will not be abandoned, leaving you or your SO in a boat without a motor later in life. It's no guarantee, of course, and it's not absolutely necessary for a relationship to work, but it can help.

There are tax benefits. There are benefits if you SO is in the hospital.

Those are a few other reasons. But religion and societal expectations are small reasons in my book.


I hate to call it a legit reason because it really isn't. But aside from financially they only legit reason to get married is religious. So that you don't have illigitamate children.

I disagree that the only other legit reason is religious. My marriage has nothing to do with religion and while the financial side is important, it's not the primary reason I married my wife. Also, we're not having children, so illegitimate children are not a concern for us.

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13-02-2012, 04:54 PM
RE: Why Get Married? (A nosy question)
(13-02-2012 03:02 PM)kineo Wrote:  
(13-02-2012 02:50 PM)germanyt Wrote:  
(13-02-2012 02:45 PM)kineo Wrote:  Yeah, religion is actually one of the last reasons to get married in my opinion.

There are insurance and financial reasons to get married.

More importantly, as a way of nurturing the bond between you and your SO.

There is also the issue of security. A person feels more secure when they know their SO is committed to sticking with them through thick and thin. If you've been with someone for twenty years you've invested in each other, and probably made some serious life-altering concessions to make the relationship work and you may depend on each other greatly. Marriage is a way of feeling more certain that this will not be abandoned, leaving you or your SO in a boat without a motor later in life. It's no guarantee, of course, and it's not absolutely necessary for a relationship to work, but it can help.

There are tax benefits. There are benefits if you SO is in the hospital.

Those are a few other reasons. But religion and societal expectations are small reasons in my book.


I hate to call it a legit reason because it really isn't. But aside from financially they only legit reason to get married is religious. So that you don't have illigitamate children.

I disagree that the only other legit reason is religious. My marriage has nothing to do with religion and while the financial side is important, it's not the primary reason I married my wife. Also, we're not having children, so illegitimate children are not a concern for us.

So your marriage is purely symbolic. Nothing wrong with that. Mine is too. But it's not really different than not getting married, wearing rings, and calling each other husband and wife.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

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13-02-2012, 05:03 PM
RE: Why Get Married? (A nosy question)
We didn't plan to marry officially but politically we had to. Work allowance for my hun for free and without troubles just for being married to me. We don't plan to leave each other anyway so why not. Plus tax benefits.
And actually it was really a nice symbolic thing for me. Getting the ring and saying the words. It was not kitchy at all, I am not very kitchy, but it was very emotional for both of us. Like, yes, now we can stay together!

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13-02-2012, 05:09 PM
RE: Why Get Married? (A nosy question)
Remind me of:

Q: What's the definition of a second marriage?

A: The triumph of hope over experience.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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13-02-2012, 06:07 PM
RE: Why Get Married? (A nosy question)
Thanks to everyone for the replies. There's some good advice in these posts.

I've looked into the tax situation and it does look like a tax break for me (well, us) as we would qualify for lower tax rates if we were married. That is so far a good reason but it would make me feel like a hypocrite exploiting a tax loophole, since it would be the only reason I'd be doing it.

I do see the commitment side of things, but I feel that if any of us reached the point where our shared life together, our maybe-future kids, memories and all that, weren't enough to make us stay together, then being legally married isn't going to change that. Actually, I wouldn't want it to.

The celebration, ritual, ceremony does seem nice, and it would make our families happy, but Kim is right in that shouldn't affect our decision.

Once again, thanks for all the input. It is very much appreciated.

"But the point is, find somebody to love. Everything else is overrated." - HouseofCantor
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13-02-2012, 10:41 PM
RE: Why Get Married? (A nosy question)
You guys are forgetting the reason I am considering marriage. Citizenship =p It really help when you move for any reason to have the law behind you.

I prefer just going to court and getting the documents though. All that pizazz is a waste of more money than I have.

I'm not a non believer, I believe in the possibility of anything. I just don't let the actuality of something be determined by a 3rd party.
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14-02-2012, 02:49 AM
RE: Why Get Married? (A nosy question)
There are many reason already mentioned.

The ceremony of marriage is a beautiful way to tell and show people the commitment between two life mates, from that point forward, of their love and devotion. Of course this can be carried out and expressed without a legal marriage, definitely. So then the things legal marriage brings, like tax and insurance benefits, citizenship, etc are good reasons to.

But, in my marriage we learned a valuable benefit to being married. We were caught in a health predicament that put my husband into the hospital. Someone had to make calls for his well being as he was unable to. Had I not been his wife, these decisions would have gone to his next of kin, his parents. His parents would have likely made different decisions than me according to their faith- and ones I knew my husband would not want. Sad I was so glad to make the decisions I could (and surprisingly though they may not agree with everything, his parents were supportive, thankfully). Also, I would not have been able to visit my husband, only immediate family were able to- and they clarified NOT a common-law spouse. I cannot not imagine an even worse situation where I could not make decisions on behalf of my partner and to see things happen how I knew they, I or we would not have chosen.

I can NOT imagine what it would be like for someone to not be able to help their love, their partner- their life mate- in a situation like this. Sad That is why I think EVERYONE should have access to this choice irregardless of sexual orientation, because for some people this legal right could mean a lot.
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15-02-2012, 05:07 AM
RE: Why Get Married? (A nosy question)
It seemed like a good idea at the time?
Be 19 years in March!

It was for us to say to the world “we’re together and we will remain together through all the shit that gets thrown at us”
It kinda pissed off our families a little as we where quite young and had more than a few against it.
It has allowed me to be there when she was in hospital in the ICU as well as her being there for me doing much the same.

Personally I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Nothing religious about it, it’s a public declaration between two people making a commitment.




Oddly enough, I was dead set against marriage right from as far back as I can remember!
My mum and step dad hated each other, all my friends parents had split…
I couldn’t see the point in going through all that and dragging someone else through it too.
It was my wife’s parents that changed my mind, they actually wanted to be together!
Up to that point all marriage was, was to find someone you despise and sacrifice your life and happiness by sticking with them and dragging them down at every opportunity until nether of you can escape as the other might find some glimmer of hope and you won’t be there to step on it.

I was wrong!

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. Friedrich Nietzsche
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