Why I am Jesus Christ
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29-11-2013, 03:35 AM
RE: Why I am Jesus Christ
(29-11-2013 03:33 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  
(29-11-2013 02:52 AM)PursuingTruth Wrote:  Can i have some of your angel delight? And if you are part mana, do you shrink when you cast 'Fireball'?

Casting Fireball requires the ability to cast 3'rd level arcane spells (Lv.5 Wizard, Lv.6 Sorcerer), causes 1d6 damage per caster level (max 10d6) in a 20ft spread {Reflex save for half}, and the expenditure of the prepared spell slot, scroll, charge, or use per day.

Mana is required to cast Fire, Fira, and Firaga; but not Fireball.

I think I'll just use a scroll ... ... Jesus, what level cleric are you?

A man blames his bad childhood on leprechauns. He claims they don't exist, but yet still says without a doubt that they stole all his money and then killed his parents. That's why he became Leprechaun-Man

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29-11-2013, 03:55 AM
RE: Why I am Jesus Christ
(29-11-2013 03:35 AM)Monster_Riffs Wrote:  
(29-11-2013 03:33 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  Casting Fireball requires the ability to cast 3'rd level arcane spells (Lv.5 Wizard, Lv.6 Sorcerer), causes 1d6 damage per caster level (max 10d6) in a 20ft spread {Reflex save for half}, and the expenditure of the prepared spell slot, scroll, charge, or use per day.

Mana is required to cast Fire, Fira, and Firaga; but not Fireball.

I think I'll just use a scroll ... ... Jesus, what level cleric are you?

Unfortunately Fireball is an Arcane spell, not a Divine one. The usage of a Scroll of Fireball created by a Lv.6 Wizard would require a Use Magic Device check at DC 26 (20+caster level). Unfortunately Use Magic Device is not a class skill for a Cleric, it's only for Bards and Rogues.

Now assuming that Jesus is pure Cleric with an exceptional Charisma (the average human is is 10~11 for no bonus, maximum is 18 for +4 bonus, so let's say he's 30 for a +10 bonus). This would still require Lv.6 Cleric, giving you a max rank in cross-class skills of 3, combined with the +10 Charisma bonus would get Jesus a +13 on his Use Magic Device check; effectively putting him at a 50% chance to succeed.

Of course though to cast Miracle or True Resurrection would require a Lv.17 Cleric, and casting True Resurrection on himself as a Contingency would require Epic (Lv.21+) levels at the very least. Drinking Beverage

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29-11-2013, 04:20 AM
RE: Why I am Jesus Christ
Sorry! Sorry!

I assumed Jesus to have taken some levels in wizard or sorcerer, I forgot that create food was a Cleric Spell, although I swear Summon food was a 0 level cleric spell.. Walking on water is a 3rd level spell?

BUT he still could take points in Use magic device at 0.5 points per level, which would explain where his skill points werent being hammered into diplomacy, well.. use magic device and Bluff I suppose were important to him.
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29-11-2013, 05:17 AM (This post was last modified: 29-11-2013 05:21 AM by EvolutionKills.)
RE: Why I am Jesus Christ
(29-11-2013 04:20 AM)PursuingTruth Wrote:  Sorry! Sorry!

I assumed Jesus to have taken some levels in wizard or sorcerer, I forgot that create food was a Cleric Spell, although I swear Summon food was a 0 level cleric spell.. Walking on water is a 3rd level spell?

BUT he still could take points in Use magic device at 0.5 points per level, which would explain where his skill points werent being hammered into diplomacy, well.. use magic device and Bluff I suppose were important to him.

Honestly, it would be much easier just being a Rogue or Bard and simply talking or tricking people into thinking you're the messiah than it would to be a high level Cleric and actually do it. Drinking Beverage

I mean a Lv10 Bard with Use Magic Device and a Charisma of 30 (+10 bonus) would have an unaided skill check bonus (with max ranks) of +23, or a 90% chance of success in using that DC26 Scroll of Fireball. Not only that but the ability to cast up to 4th level Arcane spells, such as Greater Invisibility, Hallucinatory Terrain, Dimension Door, Dominate Person, Modify Memory, Major Image, Scrying, Cure Serious Wounds, Fear, and Remove Curse to name but a few. Ironically enough this makes that Use Magic Device check pointless as he would already have the necessary Arcane knowledge to read the scroll and simply casting the spell as any other Wizard would. He would also have the ability to Inspire Greatness, Inspire Competence, or place a Suggestion with his music and the power of his personality.

Fuck, if it wasn't for there being actual pantheons worth of gods in the various worlds of D&D, it would be easy as shit for an enterprising scoundrel or magic-user to turn themselves into a powerful religious cult leader. Blink

Now that I think about it, that sounds way more plausible than the Gospels. Consider

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29-11-2013, 05:25 AM
RE: Why I am Jesus Christ
you nerds better not leave a 4 sided die laying around for me to step on.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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29-11-2013, 06:26 AM (This post was last modified: 29-11-2013 06:33 AM by EvolutionKills.)
RE: Why I am Jesus Christ
(29-11-2013 05:25 AM)sporehux Wrote:  you nerds better not leave a 4 sided die laying around for me to step on.

Nope, that's what the LEGO's are for! Thumbsup

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29-11-2013, 07:40 AM
RE: Why I am Jesus Christ
(29-11-2013 05:17 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  
(29-11-2013 04:20 AM)PursuingTruth Wrote:  Sorry! Sorry!

I assumed Jesus to have taken some levels in wizard or sorcerer, I forgot that create food was a Cleric Spell, although I swear Summon food was a 0 level cleric spell.. Walking on water is a 3rd level spell?

BUT he still could take points in Use magic device at 0.5 points per level, which would explain where his skill points werent being hammered into diplomacy, well.. use magic device and Bluff I suppose were important to him.

Honestly, it would be much easier just being a Rogue or Bard and simply talking or tricking people into thinking you're the messiah than it would to be a high level Cleric and actually do it. Drinking Beverage

I mean a Lv10 Bard with Use Magic Device and a Charisma of 30 (+10 bonus) would have an unaided skill check bonus (with max ranks) of +23, or a 90% chance of success in using that DC26 Scroll of Fireball. Not only that but the ability to cast up to 4th level Arcane spells, such as Greater Invisibility, Hallucinatory Terrain, Dimension Door, Dominate Person, Modify Memory, Major Image, Scrying, Cure Serious Wounds, Fear, and Remove Curse to name but a few. Ironically enough this makes that Use Magic Device check pointless as he would already have the necessary Arcane knowledge to read the scroll and simply casting the spell as any other Wizard would. He would also have the ability to Inspire Greatness, Inspire Competence, or place a Suggestion with his music and the power of his personality.

Now that I think about it, that sounds way more plausible than the Gospels. Consider

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01-12-2013, 12:29 PM
RE: Why I am Jesus Christ
I mean Manna by "ECCE PANIS ANGELORUM", the bread of the Angels/Devas.

But this Manna in D&D also has many similar properties.


Does anyone have any challenges to my divinity or do we all accept me as Savior?
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01-12-2013, 12:34 PM (This post was last modified: 01-12-2013 01:15 PM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: Why I am Jesus Christ
(01-12-2013 12:29 PM)ALMASSAH Wrote:  I mean Manna by "ECCE PANIS ANGELORUM", the bread of the Angels/Devas.

But this Manna in D&D also has many similar properties.


Does anyone have any challenges to my divinity or do we all accept me as Savior?

I like me some "Ecce Panis Angelorum, factus cibus viatorum", especially the Hyden one he stole from the pop song of the time, "O Vienna I now must leave thee". Very cool.
You however ain't no "savior". The human condition is what it is. You can't "save" anyone from it. It's actually a very "non-biblical" concept. But you know nothing 'bout all that shit, I s'pose.
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Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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01-12-2013, 01:02 PM
RE: Why I am Jesus Christ
(01-12-2013 12:29 PM)ALMASSAH Wrote:  Does anyone have any challenges to my divinity or do we all accept me as Savior?

Haven't we already done this dance?

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As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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