Why I am a vegetarian....
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23-02-2013, 09:05 PM
RE: Why I am a vegetarian....
I find it hilarious that vegetarians will stop eating meat on the grounds of animal cruelty, but like you say you do, still drink milk/dairy.

Allow me to explain the process as I am rather well educated in how the process works being around dairy farms my whole life.
Milk is not like eggs. Just like humans, milk will only be produced if a pregancy occurrs. That brings us to step 1.

Step #1: Take a paddock of 400 cows (cows are female, bulls are male) and add one or two horny bulls. Leave to get frisky.

Step #2: Get someone in to scan and ensure that all 400 cows have become pregnant (as a non-pregnant cow is useless)

Step #3: Get someone in to artifically make those that have not been impregnated by the bull, pregnant.

Step #4: Wait.

Here comes the fun bit ladies and gentlemen

Step #5: Calving session. Check prices for calves. If meatworks is paying more then fertalizer plant then take live new born calves and put in cages at end of drive way for meatworks people to collect. If fertalizer place is paying more bash calves on head and leave dead calves at end of driveway (but inside the gate) for fertalizer people to collect. Perhaps keep 1 or 2 calves alive to give to children for calf club (a school thing where you raise an animal and then show it off on a week end and then afterwards you parents tell you it went off to live its life on a fancy plantation somewhere, but on that same night you have a roast beef...).

Step #6: Start milking cows to ensure that the cows don't stop producing milk (all unnaturally of course)

Step #7: Repeat steps 1-7 the following year, murdering more calves and artifically keeping more cows producing milk for much longer then they normally would.


Enjoy your milk and dairy products. Murderer.

I don't talk gay, I don't walk gay, it's like people don't even know I'm gay unless I'm blowing them.
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23-02-2013, 09:24 PM
RE: Why I am a vegetarian....
(23-02-2013 09:05 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  I find it hilarious that vegetarians will stop eating meat on the grounds of animal cruelty, but like you say you do, still drink milk/dairy.

Allow me to explain the process as I am rather well educated in how the process works being around dairy farms my whole life.
Milk is not like eggs. Just like humans, milk will only be produced if a pregancy occurrs. That brings us to step 1.

Step #1: Take a paddock of 400 cows (cows are female, bulls are male) and add one or two horny bulls. Leave to get frisky.

Step #2: Get someone in to scan and ensure that all 400 cows have become pregnant (as a non-pregnant cow is useless)

Step #3: Get someone in to artifically make those that have not been impregnated by the bull, pregnant.

Step #4: Wait.

Here comes the fun bit ladies and gentlemen

Step #5: Calving session. Check prices for calves. If meatworks is paying more then fertalizer plant then take live new born calves and put in cages at end of drive way for meatworks people to collect. If fertalizer place is paying more bash calves on head and leave dead calves at end of driveway (but inside the gate) for fertalizer people to collect. Perhaps keep 1 or 2 calves alive to give to children for calf club (a school thing where you raise an animal and then show it off on a week end and then afterwards you parents tell you it went off to live its life on a fancy plantation somewhere, but on that same night you have a roast beef...).

Step #6: Start milking cows to ensure that the cows don't stop producing milk (all unnaturally of course)

Step #7: Repeat steps 1-7 the following year, murdering more calves and artifically keeping more cows producing milk for much longer then they normally would.


Enjoy your milk and dairy products. Murderer.
Well said on all counts.

Solution?

Buy a couple goats.

Milk, cheese, yogurt, cream, butter (only if you have some serious skills) is all better, healthier, and from your backyard. Plus, young, milkfed goats are delicious. Not to mention the bonus of being able to excuse yourself early from family brunch because you, "have to get home to kill the kids."

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03-03-2013, 05:06 AM
RE: Why I am a vegetarian....
(23-02-2013 09:24 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  Buy a couple goats.

Milk, cheese, yogurt, cream, butter (only if you have some serious skills) is all better, healthier, and from your backyard. Plus, young, milkfed goats are delicious. Not to mention the bonus of being able to excuse yourself early from family brunch because you, "have to get home to kill the kids."

Couldn't help myself...



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