Why I am me.
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09-02-2013, 12:36 AM
Why I am me.
I have started watching videos of Dan Siegel, and what he says makes a lot of sense to me. What he says in this video specifically relates to me. I'm quite withdrawn and have problems with social interaction, and I can see how I look at the world in a more material way. I don't know how people go about meeting new people and making friends, this aspect of life is rather foreign to me. While I have known some people, it rarely lasts long and I don't feel like the connection is typical of a friendship. I have had many theories about why this is the case, It's something I think about often. It is likely though that it is a result of lack of relationship with a parent. Knowing my mom, I can't see her as someone who would have created strong connections with us. This is what the videos are about, relationships with parents/children.

I don't think of people as having a brain, I think of people as the result of a brain. They are the consciousness that emerges from the brains function of integrating sensory information, emotions, and problem solving (thought). The complexity of it gives me a sense of awe, but the reality of it is almost depressing.

Optimal Attachment




Avoidance Attachment <-- Applies to me



2.5 billion seconds total
1.67 billion seconds conscious

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09-02-2013, 02:27 AM
RE: Why I am me.
Is there a label for the situation where "the parent has positive intentions of love and care and concern" but the child does not believe them?

Would this lead not to the realisation "that there's no one to know" and the "deep sense of emptiness" but still result in the mere observation of / detachment from anything other than the 'physical'?

In other words... being aware of this non-physical world but attaching no importance to it.

Consider

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09-02-2013, 04:19 AM (This post was last modified: 09-02-2013 04:29 AM by Luminon.)
RE: Why I am me.
I think you've already considered my kind of diagnosis.
More generally said, I have an extremely dominant left hemisphere, which means that only specific, concrete things have a meaning. A person is not concrete concept, people don't have a function. Unless of course they're wearing a uniform, sitting in an office and the meaning is clear from the label.

Right brain hemisphere scoops meaning from the senses with a bucket. It takes in everything, takes it broadly and a lot of it. All the vague but very profound and meaningful things like getting the gist of what the other person is thinking.

Left brain hemisphere is like a nitpicker with tweezers. It takes small, strictly defined things, one at a time and hardly in a linear way. It's like taking samples, but they must be solid, you can't scoop a fluid sea of conversation with tweezers.

The result is, that other people and social life are perceived as empty, meaningless, non-stimulating or way too overwhelming and confusing.
But it's a communication barrier, not an inability to feel it, but to receive and send it. Deep down we're normal, have normal needs and feelings, but we can only feel and communicate outwardly through this narrow gap that specific, concrete things get through. It is a form of blindness, essentially.


It is possible to get aware of the world of social meaning and its joys, but that leads to depression because it's like the suffering of Tantalos, reaching for what we can't have.

However, one person is fine to keep track of, to get familiar with his/her personality and orient in it like a blind person knows the layout of his home and where all the things are. Two more people at the same time are possible too, if there's a clear, concrete topic at hand. Three is a crowd and needs a schedule.

Consequently, alcohol is the magic brew. It does something to the brain, that gets the left hemisphere down from the throne for a while. The right hemisphere is for a moment free from the tyranny, free to perceive social meaning, free from the extreme demands on concreteness, free to react and express itself spontaneously and vaguely, to feel connection to all people around. It is a great sense of freedom, from something that we normally don't realize. If people would not be allowed anything vague, where we'd be? On the internet, of course! Expressing ourselves in a line of letters, orienting ourselves according to topics, not people, first making a topic before anyone can interact.

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09-02-2013, 05:13 AM
RE: Why I am me.
(09-02-2013 04:19 AM)Luminon Wrote:  ...
Consequently, alcohol is the magic brew.
...

Amen, brother!

Bowing

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09-02-2013, 09:23 AM
RE: Why I am me.
(09-02-2013 05:13 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Amen, brother!

Bowing
Hey, don't celebrate prematurely. I just don't get why people drink it for fun. They drink all the time, no matter if just a little or insane amounts that they puke out that very night. They get more resistant to alcohol, so they can drink more, spend more and puke more. They're like fakirs, showing off how many sabers they can send down the throat and then pull them back out.

For me, alcohol is a medicine for the soul. (in exoteric sense) When I drink it, it stretches the strings of my puppeteer - the left hemisphere, and gives me more freedom. I rapidly ingest enough hard alcohol to make the strings loose enough and then maintain the level.
I don't drink more than necessary, the stuff has vile taste and costs a fortune. There is no point in drinking a little, I get either hammered with a proper dosage of medicine, or I can be on orange juice all evening. Small amounts make me sleepy.

Nonetheless, it's a very rough therapy. It gives me enough social fun for half a year ahead and at least a day of hangover.

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09-02-2013, 09:29 AM
RE: Why I am me.
(09-02-2013 09:23 AM)Luminon Wrote:  ...
alcohol is a medicine for the soul.
...
... again, I say, Amen, brother.

Yet, it's not the only one.


(09-02-2013 09:23 AM)Luminon Wrote:  ...
at least a day of hangover.

I can identify with that, having spent the day nursing a viscous one. But I have an excuse (triple celebration this weekend) and then I'll get back to my usual levels of hedonistic excess.

Thumbsup

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09-02-2013, 11:21 AM
RE: Why I am me.
(09-02-2013 09:29 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(09-02-2013 09:23 AM)Luminon Wrote:  ...
alcohol is a medicine for the soul.
...
... again, I say, Amen, brother.

Yet, it's not the only one.


(09-02-2013 09:23 AM)Luminon Wrote:  ...
at least a day of hangover.

I can identify with that, having spent the day nursing a viscous one. But I have an excuse (triple celebration this weekend) and then I'll get back to my usual levels of hedonistic excess.

Thumbsup
I have a sure-fire, fool-proof method for avoiding hangovers. Thumbsup

Please wire US$100 and I will send you the secret.

This method is guaranteed or your money back.

Trust me. Drinking Beverage

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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09-02-2013, 11:31 AM
RE: Why I am me.
...
I know why I am me -- nobody else wants the job. Big Grin
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09-02-2013, 01:35 PM (This post was last modified: 09-02-2013 01:44 PM by Luminon.)
RE: Why I am me.
(09-02-2013 11:21 AM)Chas Wrote:  I have a sure-fire, fool-proof method for avoiding hangovers. Thumbsup

Please wire US$100 and I will send you the secret.

This method is guaranteed or your money back.

Trust me. Drinking Beverage
I already know this method, it's called getting alcohol poisoning, falling unconscious and being brought to hospital. Under the generous public healthcare system, doctors put you into a nice bed, hook you up to an infusion and next day you wake up without any acetaldehyde in your system, no hangover whatsoever.
They use this method to save the lives of adventurous middle schoolers and teach them the woes of alcohol through... not exposing them to a devastating hangover at all. Most of them repeat their lessons regularly.

I guess I spoiled your little trade secret Smile Remember who you're talking to, a Pirate Party international sympathizer who doesn't believe in hogging information.

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09-02-2013, 01:41 PM
RE: Why I am me.
(09-02-2013 01:35 PM)Luminon Wrote:  
(09-02-2013 11:21 AM)Chas Wrote:  I have a sure-fire, fool-proof method for avoiding hangovers. Thumbsup

Please wire US$100 and I will send you the secret.

This method is guaranteed or your money back.

Trust me. Drinking Beverage
I already know this method, it's called getting alcohol poisoning, falling unconscious and being brought to hospital. Under the generous public healthcare system, doctors put you into a nice bed, hook you up to an infusion and next day you wake up without any acetaldehyde in your system, no hangover whatsoever.
They use this method to save the lives of adventurous middle schoolers and teach them the woes of alcohol through... not exposing them to a devastating hangover at all. Most of them repeat their lessons regularly.

I guess I spoiled your little trade secret Smile


Nope, that's not it. Drinking Beverage

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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