Why and How I Became an Atheist -- A Rambling
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11-02-2013, 04:50 PM (This post was last modified: 12-02-2013 05:27 AM by Logica Humano.)
Why and How I Became an Atheist -- A Rambling
Upon the rather adventurous question proposed by my ever enlightened childhood friend, Lisa (an anonymous name I have given her to protect her privacy), I have always viewed atheism in a different light. She asked the question the day I told her I was an atheist, three years ago. Then, I still possessed the disgusting and unforgivable mentality that atheism was intrinsically dark. Even though I knew that I could no longer continue to believe in the outright lies, I still felt filthy and sick. As the recent deconverted TTA family member, Kpax, recently said, “It is almost like a part of you dies.”

I could not have said it any more accurately. And, to make matters worse, the entire time you feel as though you are responsible for that sudden 'death'. The sudden, haphazard realization that you are, in fact, alone in the universe without some sort of divine guidance and that there is no sublime afterlife waiting for me after my eventual end: It is like you just murdered a delicate, innocent piece of yourself. Some of those apart of the gathering of the theologically inclined may not ever have experienced this feeling, being lucky enough to be born with liberal parents. Truly, I hope you never have to feel the guilt and shame that is associated with a dark secret such as the one I possessed.

Telling my friend, Lisa, was surprisingly easy for me. She was the first I ever told, the rapid diversion of my immediate family still unbeknownst to be at the time, I felt as though I could trust her. I was correct, and she did, in fact, exercise the rare Christian virtues of respect and tolerance. After I told her about my deconversion, the lack of evidence, the wondrous idea of a free mind, of social equality, of not worshiping a sadistic dictator, and not having to spend an hour every Sunday singing praise to a father that never shows, she asked me a simplistic question. It was not a challenge, in a direct sense, but rather, as I perceive it, an innocent question.

“What kind of person is an Atheist?”

I began with statements claiming that atheists fight against social inequality, violence, injustice, and the evils of religion... but I stopped. I felt as though these were cliche reasons, and that they were quite self-explanatory. So, after my abrupt silence and moments of thought, I replied, “An atheist is a good person. A person who is not bound by a prison that so many claim is true freedom. A person who does not do kind deeds unto others simply to score points for the afterlife, but rather to help them out of the kindness of the heart. A person that is not afraid to be attacked and demonized by family and friends for the sake of false integrity. A person who is sincere and honest, acknowleding that there are things we do not know, and that for the years that we may have believed that... we were wrong.”

In case any of you have noticed for the past two years of my presence on this forum, it is a very difficult thing for me to do. Admit that I was. That I am wrong. That I will always be wrong about something. But, as an atheist and as a good person, I feel I am obligated to admit to it in some form or fashion. After I was done describing what an atheist was, in my opinion, tears came to her eyes. At the time, I did not know if they were of sadness or anger. Wrong. Months later, she came to me... tears in her eyes once again, telling me that she was an atheist too.

Upon reading over what I have written so far, it all seems too incredibly mushy to be sharing on a forum full of immaturity and social insecurity, but I will continue anyway.

So, I suppose I am an atheist because I am a good and honest person. I am not willing to lie about the causes and reasons the universe exists, or what the purpose of life is, or why the sky is blue. I am willing to help people for the sake of helping, the enjoyment that I get out of it. Lisa, a friend since I was a small child, is now an atheist like me. She is a fantastic visual artist, an excellent writer, very good looking, funny, and a very smart and intelligent woman. And while I need to make it clear that we are simply friends, she and I have been through much together. So, a big thanks to Lisa. I love you.

Weeks after, I was fortunate enough to learn that my immediate family had deconverted secretly too. They actually watched the same video as I, and soon we all told each other and had a great laugh over it all. The rest of my family, however, remains hateful and spiteful of our choice. So, as with most deconversions, it was emotional. I didn't even get into the fear and anguish I felt when I began to watch The Thinking Atheist, and you can imagine how that felt.

I have to say though... even though some thoroughly inexperience and ignorant individuals would tell you otherwise (yes, Egor, I am looking at you), it is entirely worth it. I feel freer than I have ever felt before. I am able to consider options that I would never dream of. I can think. I can breathe. I am associated with the brilliance that so many of my fellow atheists are able to exercise FREELY without some sort of religious constraint. I pity any who would disagree with the great degree of freedom we have with this conviction.

So, now that I find myself falling asleep... and I undoubtedly made dozens of spelling and grammatical errors like I always do (since I normally post late at night), I say g'night to you all. I'll continue lurking as always.

P.S: Have fun with your constant derailments and comedy following the posting of this.

--Mike

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11-02-2013, 04:53 PM
RE: Why and How I Became an Atheist -- A Rambling
tl;dr

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11-02-2013, 05:04 PM
RE: Why and How I Became an Atheist -- A Rambling
(11-02-2013 04:50 PM)Logica Humano Wrote:  Upon the rather adventurous question proposed by my ever enlightened childhood friend, Lisa (an anonymous name I have given her to protect her privacy), I have always viewed atheism in a different light. She asked the question the day I told her I was an atheist, three years ago. Then, I still possessed the disgusting and unforgivable mentality that atheism was intrinsically dark. Even though I knew that I could no longer continue to believe in the outright lies, I still felt filthy and sick. As the recent deconverted TTA family member, Kpax, recently said, “It is almost like a part of you dies.”

I could not have said it any more accurately. And, to make matters worse, the entire time you feel as though you are responsible for that sudden 'death'. The sudden, haphazard realization that you are, in fact, alone in the universe without some sort of divine guidance and that there is no sublime afterlife waiting for me after my eventual end: It is like you just murdered a delicate, innocent piece of yourself. Some on this gathering of the theologically inclined may not ever have experienced this feeling, being lucky enough to be born with liberal parents. Truly, I hope you never have to feel the guilt and shame that is associated with a dark secret such as the one I possesed.

Telling my friend, Lisa, was surprisingly easy for me. She was the first I ever told, the rapid deconversion of my immediate family still unbeknownst to be at the time, I felt as though I could trust her. I was correct, and she did, in fact, exercise the rare Christian virtues of respect and tolerance. After I told her about my deconversion, the lack of evidence, the wonderous idea of a free mind, of social equality, of not worshipping a sadistic dictator, and not having to spend an hour every Sunday singing praise to a father that never shows, she asked me a simplistic question. It was not a challenge, in a direct sense, but rather, as I percieve it, an innocent question.

“What kind of person is an Atheist?”

I began with statements claiming that atheists fight against social inequality, violence, injustice, and the evils of religion... but I stopped. I felt as though these were cliche reasons, and that they were quite self-explanatory. So, after my abrupt silence and moments of thought, I replied, “An atheist is a good person. A person who is not bound by a prison that so many claim is true freedom. A person who does not do kind deeds unto others simply to score points for the afterlife, but rather to help them out of the kindness of the heart. A person that is not afraid to be attacked and demonized by family and friends for the sake of false integrity. A person who is sincere and honest, acknowleding that there are things we do not know, and that for the years that we may have believed that... we were wrong.”

In case any of you have noticed for the past two years of my presence on this forum, it is a very difficult thing for me to do. Admit that I was. That I am wrong. That I will always be wrong about something. But, as an atheist and as a good person, I feel I am obligated to admit to it in some form or fashion. After I was done describing what an atheist was, in my opinion, tears came to her eyes. At the time, I did not know if they were of sadness or anger. Wrong. Months later, she came to me... tears in her eyes once again, telling me that she was an atheist too.

Upon reading over what I have written so far, it all seems too incredibly mushy to be sharing on a forum full of imaturity and social insecurity, but I will continue anyway.

So, I suppose I am an atheist because I am a good and honest person. I am not willing to lie about the causes and reasons the universe exists, or what the purpose of life is, or why the sky is blue. I am willing to help people for the sake of helping, the enjoyment that I get out of it. Lisa, a friend since I was a small child, is now an atheist like me. She is a fantastic visual artist, an excellent writer, very good looking, funny, and a very smart and intelligent woman. And while I need to make it clear that we are simply friends, she and I have been through much together. So, a big thanks to Lisa. I love you.

Weeks after, I was fortunate enough to learn that my immediate family had deconverted secretly too. They actually watched the same video as I, and soon we all told each other and had a great laugh over it all. The rest of my family, however, remains hateful and spiteful of our choice. So, as with most deconversions, it was emotional. I didn't even get into the fear and anguish I felt when I began to watch The Thinking Atheist, and you can imagine how that felt.

I have to say though... even though some thoroughly inexperience and ignorant individuals would tell you otherwise (yes, Egor, I am looking at you), it is entirely worth it. I feel freer than I have ever felt before. I am able to consider options that I would never dream of. I can think. I can breathe. I am associated with the brilliance that so many of my fellow atheists are able to exercise FREELY without some sort of religious constraint. I pity any who would disagree with the great degree of freedom we have with this conviction.

So, now that I find myself falling asleep... and I undoubtedly made dozens of spelling and grammatical errors like I always do (since I normally post late at night), I say g'night to you all. I'll continue lurking as always.

P.S: Have fun with your constant derailments and comedy following the posting of this.

--Mike


Well said and moving. Thank you.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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11-02-2013, 11:00 PM
RE: Why and How I Became an Atheist -- A Rambling
Spelling and grammatical errors aside, that was worth reading. Thank you.

I am most intrigued as to which video assisted you and your relative in your deconversion.

Care to shed light?

Cheers

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11-02-2013, 11:20 PM
RE: Why and How I Became an Atheist -- A Rambling
Mike, I completely understand. This was a really good post. If I could rep you one more time, I would simply because of this.

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12-02-2013, 06:28 AM
RE: Why and How I Became an Atheist -- A Rambling
(11-02-2013 04:53 PM)DLJ Wrote:  tl;dr
ikr?

(11-02-2013 05:04 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(11-02-2013 04:50 PM)Logica Humano Wrote:  Upon the rather adventurous question proposed by my ever enlightened childhood friend, Lisa (an anonymous name I have given her to protect her privacy), I have always viewed atheism in a different light. She asked the question the day I told her I was an atheist, three years ago. Then, I still possessed the disgusting and unforgivable mentality that atheism was intrinsically dark. Even though I knew that I could no longer continue to believe in the outright lies, I still felt filthy and sick. As the recent deconverted TTA family member, Kpax, recently said, “It is almost like a part of you dies.”

I could not have said it any more accurately. And, to make matters worse, the entire time you feel as though you are responsible for that sudden 'death'. The sudden, haphazard realization that you are, in fact, alone in the universe without some sort of divine guidance and that there is no sublime afterlife waiting for me after my eventual end: It is like you just murdered a delicate, innocent piece of yourself. Some on this gathering of the theologically inclined may not ever have experienced this feeling, being lucky enough to be born with liberal parents. Truly, I hope you never have to feel the guilt and shame that is associated with a dark secret such as the one I possesed.

Telling my friend, Lisa, was surprisingly easy for me. She was the first I ever told, the rapid deconversion of my immediate family still unbeknownst to be at the time, I felt as though I could trust her. I was correct, and she did, in fact, exercise the rare Christian virtues of respect and tolerance. After I told her about my deconversion, the lack of evidence, the wonderous idea of a free mind, of social equality, of not worshipping a sadistic dictator, and not having to spend an hour every Sunday singing praise to a father that never shows, she asked me a simplistic question. It was not a challenge, in a direct sense, but rather, as I percieve it, an innocent question.

“What kind of person is an Atheist?”

I began with statements claiming that atheists fight against social inequality, violence, injustice, and the evils of religion... but I stopped. I felt as though these were cliche reasons, and that they were quite self-explanatory. So, after my abrupt silence and moments of thought, I replied, “An atheist is a good person. A person who is not bound by a prison that so many claim is true freedom. A person who does not do kind deeds unto others simply to score points for the afterlife, but rather to help them out of the kindness of the heart. A person that is not afraid to be attacked and demonized by family and friends for the sake of false integrity. A person who is sincere and honest, acknowleding that there are things we do not know, and that for the years that we may have believed that... we were wrong.”

In case any of you have noticed for the past two years of my presence on this forum, it is a very difficult thing for me to do. Admit that I was. That I am wrong. That I will always be wrong about something. But, as an atheist and as a good person, I feel I am obligated to admit to it in some form or fashion. After I was done describing what an atheist was, in my opinion, tears came to her eyes. At the time, I did not know if they were of sadness or anger. Wrong. Months later, she came to me... tears in her eyes once again, telling me that she was an atheist too.

Upon reading over what I have written so far, it all seems too incredibly mushy to be sharing on a forum full of imaturity and social insecurity, but I will continue anyway.

So, I suppose I am an atheist because I am a good and honest person. I am not willing to lie about the causes and reasons the universe exists, or what the purpose of life is, or why the sky is blue. I am willing to help people for the sake of helping, the enjoyment that I get out of it. Lisa, a friend since I was a small child, is now an atheist like me. She is a fantastic visual artist, an excellent writer, very good looking, funny, and a very smart and intelligent woman. And while I need to make it clear that we are simply friends, she and I have been through much together. So, a big thanks to Lisa. I love you.

Weeks after, I was fortunate enough to learn that my immediate family had deconverted secretly too. They actually watched the same video as I, and soon we all told each other and had a great laugh over it all. The rest of my family, however, remains hateful and spiteful of our choice. So, as with most deconversions, it was emotional. I didn't even get into the fear and anguish I felt when I began to watch The Thinking Atheist, and you can imagine how that felt.

I have to say though... even though some thoroughly inexperience and ignorant individuals would tell you otherwise (yes, Egor, I am looking at you), it is entirely worth it. I feel freer than I have ever felt before. I am able to consider options that I would never dream of. I can think. I can breathe. I am associated with the brilliance that so many of my fellow atheists are able to exercise FREELY without some sort of religious constraint. I pity any who would disagree with the great degree of freedom we have with this conviction.

So, now that I find myself falling asleep... and I undoubtedly made dozens of spelling and grammatical errors like I always do (since I normally post late at night), I say g'night to you all. I'll continue lurking as always.

P.S: Have fun with your constant derailments and comedy following the posting of this.

--Mike


Well said and moving. Thank you.
No problem bro.

(11-02-2013 11:00 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Spelling and grammatical errors aside, that was worth reading. Thank you.

I am most intrigued as to which video assisted you and your relative in your deconversion.

Care to shed light?

Cheers
I consider it two videos that actually contributed to my decision, since I watched them in rapid succession.









This convinced my friend:





(11-02-2013 11:20 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  Mike, I completely understand. This was a really good post. If I could rep you one more time, I would simply because of this.
Thanks. Smile

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12-02-2013, 11:44 AM
RE: Why and How I Became an Atheist -- A Rambling
Enjoyable post, Logica. Thanks for sharing.

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13-02-2013, 05:12 PM
RE: Why and How I Became an Atheist -- A Rambling
(12-02-2013 11:44 AM)cjs Wrote:  Enjoyable post, Logica. Thanks for sharing.
You are quite welcome, my friend.

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