Why are Christians sad about death?
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02-07-2015, 08:16 AM
Why are Christians sad about death?
No, seriously.

If you were 100% certain that your dead loved one was in a better, perfect place, where he'd feel no more pain and sadness and you'd certainly see him again, then why the fuck should you be sad? Pretty selfish, right?

Well, for the fundies and some weird-ass denominations, there's an explanation: they fear their loved one might be heading straight to hell. But I think we all agree that your average Christian can't possibly believe that his beloved friends and family could ever go to hell, that place is for people like Hitler and murderers, right?

So anyway, to me, this translates as "I'm actually not really sure about heaven", which could also mean "I'm not really sure about my religion". Which is very hopeful if you ask me.

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02-07-2015, 08:30 AM
RE: Why are Christians sad about death?
I think they simply don't believe in it. Sure they can tell others about how great heaven will be or some bullshit like this but this is to reasure oneself I would say. When faced with reality of death ilusion stops being so comforting and doubts appear.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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02-07-2015, 08:43 AM
RE: Why are Christians sad about death?
Because grief has little to do with the deceased.

Grief is primarily a physical reaction. Whenever the grieving party encounters a situation that lacks the expected presence/involvement of the deceased, it triggers tension, something is profoundly different. This in turn triggers tears and the release of calming compounds.

Grief is not about the deceased, it's all about the survivor having to adapt to the absence of expected input.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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02-07-2015, 08:57 AM
RE: Why are Christians sad about death?
(02-07-2015 08:43 AM)Dom Wrote:  Because grief has little to do with the deceased.

Grief is primarily a physical reaction. Whenever the grieving party encounters a situation that lacks the expected presence/involvement of the deceased, it triggers tension, something is profoundly different. This in turn triggers tears and the release of calming compounds.

Grief is not about the deceased, it's all about the survivor having to adapt to the absence of expected input.

I don't think people only deal with death on a biological and/or subconscious level. If that was the case, I wouldn't cry for my dead uncle whom I saw once a year. There is no "expected input". He was practically absent in my life the last 15 years.

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02-07-2015, 09:00 AM
RE: Why are Christians sad about death?
(02-07-2015 08:16 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  No, seriously.

If you were 100% certain that your dead loved one was in a better, perfect place, where he'd feel no more pain and sadness and you'd certainly see him again, then why the fuck should you be sad? Pretty selfish, right?

Well, for the fundies and some weird-ass denominations, there's an explanation: they fear their loved one might be heading straight to hell. But I think we all agree that your average Christian can't possibly believe that his beloved friends and family could ever go to hell, that place is for people like Hitler and murderers, right?

So anyway, to me, this translates as "I'm actually not really sure about heaven", which could also mean "I'm not really sure about my religion". Which is very hopeful if you ask me.

My mother in law was a nurse for 30 years, she said it was ALWAYS the religious ones that fought death the hardest, as if they were scared to go...one would think with the comfort of heaven awaiting, one would be running to the light. The non religious ones seemed to be at peace and just let what is coming for us all, come....final rest.

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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02-07-2015, 09:10 AM
RE: Why are Christians sad about death?
(02-07-2015 09:00 AM)goodwithoutgod Wrote:  
(02-07-2015 08:16 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  No, seriously.

If you were 100% certain that your dead loved one was in a better, perfect place, where he'd feel no more pain and sadness and you'd certainly see him again, then why the fuck should you be sad? Pretty selfish, right?

Well, for the fundies and some weird-ass denominations, there's an explanation: they fear their loved one might be heading straight to hell. But I think we all agree that your average Christian can't possibly believe that his beloved friends and family could ever go to hell, that place is for people like Hitler and murderers, right?

So anyway, to me, this translates as "I'm actually not really sure about heaven", which could also mean "I'm not really sure about my religion". Which is very hopeful if you ask me.

My mother in law was a nurse for 30 years, she said it was ALWAYS the religious ones that fought death the hardest, as if they were scared to go...one would think with the comfort of heaven awaiting, one would be running to the light. The non religious ones seemed to be at peace and just let what is coming for us all, come....final rest.

My grandma is 80 and she's started worrying that she will soon go. She's very religious and she really doesn't know any better. It was strange to me when at some point she talked about it and said something like "I will die and I will go, and who knows where I will go, no one knows for sure".
And that's coming from the most religious person I know. I believe most Christians actually doubt themselves deep inside.

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02-07-2015, 09:29 AM
RE: Why are Christians sad about death?
Well, any "unknown" is always a big fear. I guess, if we only knew a bit more about it - had some actual objective data on it - we might be less frightened about it.

Also, if someone close to us dies, there is an initial shock that we are now alone - that person (loved or detested) will not be taking up space in our life. It is a bit selfish, i guess. Also, the death of someone makes me examine if my death might make someone feel lost.

Death itself can be a very empathetic moment.

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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02-07-2015, 10:18 AM
RE: Why are Christians sad about death?
(02-07-2015 08:57 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  
(02-07-2015 08:43 AM)Dom Wrote:  Because grief has little to do with the deceased.

Grief is primarily a physical reaction. Whenever the grieving party encounters a situation that lacks the expected presence/involvement of the deceased, it triggers tension, something is profoundly different. This in turn triggers tears and the release of calming compounds.

Grief is not about the deceased, it's all about the survivor having to adapt to the absence of expected input.

I don't think people only deal with death on a biological and/or subconscious level. If that was the case, I wouldn't cry for my dead uncle whom I saw once a year. There is no "expected input". He was practically absent in my life the last 15 years.


The physical reaction is not the only reaction, but when the person has been a constant presence in your life at the time of death, it is the one that will dominate your life daily for some time.

If the death was violent or you were a care taker, PTSD and/or disturbing dreams are added to the mix.

If neither apply, but the person was a prominent figure in your life, you will still have the withdrawal symptoms. But predominantly you will experience melancholy triggered by memories, something that enters into the equation much later for people who experience real time withdrawal.

This is just my observations plus a bunch of reading of everything I could get my hands on when I realized that I was 'out of control", i.e. grief took charge of my life at whim it seemed. I joined groups and talked to a lot of people, too, trying to figure out wtf was going on. I found that pretty much everyone goes through the same things, but often not in the same sequence. I didn't see any difference between the religious and the non religious.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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02-07-2015, 10:29 AM
RE: Why are Christians sad about death?
Let me start by saying that I understand the role of religion at a funeral. I understand that believing death isn’t real and permanent comforts a great many people. I’m not one of them, but I won’t begrudge solace to those who are.
That said, I despise the time at a funeral that is spent on advertising Jesus instead of on the dead and the survivors. What a joke.

**Crickets** -- God
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02-07-2015, 10:36 AM
RE: Why are Christians sad about death?
I can't think of a culture that doesn't have death rituals.

Rituals, chanting, crying - all trigger the release of dopamine.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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