Why aren't children treated like Adults?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
21-03-2012, 09:58 AM
RE: Why aren't children treated like Adults?
(21-03-2012 09:05 AM)Leela Wrote:  
(21-03-2012 08:47 AM)nach_in Wrote:  I'll insist on this, why do those who are agains this think that spanking a kid one or two times at most in their life is beating them every single day, betraying their trust and destroying all their possibilities of rational thinking in the world? you're starting to sound like a preacher saying the world will end if gay marriage is approved Confused

I am against making spanking the habit. I would rather give my kid a slight hit on the fingers than have it touch the hot oven. Just got weigh it. I am not destroying the kid's soul by that.
But if I treat every misbehaviour exactly the same > by hitting it - then my child will not know what exactly was done wrong and why it was wrong. It will learn from fear of getting hit, not from understanding the wrongs. But understanding the wrongs is much more important because then it can adapt from situation to situation.

Example:
I am in a restaurant with the family. My kid picks the nose.
Wouldn't it be stupid to spank it or hit the hand or face of the kid?
Depending on age, let's say it's 5 yrs. I would take the kids hand out of the nose, give it a tissue, tell it to blow the nose, and tell it that it looks bad and makes the fingers dirty. And if I taught my kid that we are eating with clean hands in advance (for obvious reasons) it will understand, make the connection and understand that everything that makes the fingers dirty is not ok to do while eating. Plus kids hate to look bad and to know that this does look bad will get them embarrassed enough to not do it again.

that's exactly what I been saying, there's a myriad of different ways of educating and teaching a kid stuff, one of those thousands is hitting, if it's reserved for really exceptional occasions it's not morally wrong imo, probably a parent will never need to use it which is awesome.

[Image: sigvacachica.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-03-2012, 10:23 AM
RE: Why aren't children treated like Adults?
Obviously, if a child (or adult) is about to burn themselves by touching the stove, or stepping in front of a car, or some such thing, you yank them away from it as fast as you can.

Being yanked away is enough of a startle to draw attention to the situation. It is also not pleasant to be yanked. But it is a protective measure, not one of afflicting purposeful injury. You'd be surprised how much kids can figure out, how well they can read you.

When a kid does something that's bad manners at the table, a simple no and SUBSTITUTION of the proper thing is plenty. Trouble is, now parents have to actually think and try to understand why the kid does this and what the missing link in their cognition is.

I was pretty much a rebel all my life, but I do and always have responded to reason. Kids have a "why" phase when they start to understand cause and effect. All that answering to "why, why, why" can be irritating as heck, but, this is when the basis for intelligent thinking is laid.

I remember parts of my "why" phase quite well, in specific I remember being told that I had to stay right by mom and not run ahead because I could get hurt, and I remember being shown newspaper pictures of accidents and people in hospitals and such. My parents were willing to actually teach. And yes, I quit running ahead and stayed by mom. It made sense to me. I understood.

If you are going to raise an independent thinker, you have to spend the time to learn how to actually teach and explain at the level the kid is able to understand.

Spanking begets spanking, because many times with frequent spankings the kid decides it cannot understand why it is being hit, being hit is part of life and the kid stops trying to figure things out. Which results in more spanking and less learning. Which results in becoming immune to light spankings. Which results in harder spankings. Which results in resentment of adults and of learning. Which results in harder spankings. And on and on goes the vicious circle, generation after generation.

[Image: dobie.png]

Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Dom's post
21-03-2012, 02:25 PM (This post was last modified: 25-03-2012 11:52 AM by Logica Humano.)
RE: Why aren't children treated like Adults?
(21-03-2012 10:23 AM)Dom Wrote:  Obviously, if a child (or adult) is about to burn themselves by touching the stove, or stepping in front of a car, or some such thing, you yank them away from it as fast as you can.

Being yanked away is enough of a startle to draw attention to the situation. It is also not pleasant to be yanked. But it is a protective measure, not one of afflicting purposeful injury. You'd be surprised how much kids can figure out, how well they can read you.

When a kid does something that's bad manners at the table, a simple no and SUBSTITUTION of the proper thing is plenty. Trouble is, now parents have to actually think and try to understand why the kid does this and what the missing link in their cognition is.

I was pretty much a rebel all my life, but I do and always have responded to reason. Kids have a "why" phase when they start to understand cause and effect. All that answering to "why, why, why" can be irritating as heck, but, this is when the basis for intelligent thinking is laid.

I remember parts of my "why" phase quite well, in specific I remember being told that I had to stay right by mom and not run ahead because I could get hurt, and I remember being shown newspaper pictures of accidents and people in hospitals and such. My parents were willing to actually teach. And yes, I quit running ahead and stayed by mom. It made sense to me. I understood.

If you are going to raise an independent thinker, you have to spend the time to learn how to actually teach and explain at the level the kid is able to understand.

Spanking begets spanking, because many times with frequent spankings the kid decides it cannot understand why it is being hit, being hit is part of life and the kid stops trying to figure things out. Which results in more spanking and less learning. Which results in becoming immune to light spankings. Which results in harder spankings. Which results in resentment of adults and of learning. Which results in harder spankings. And on and on goes the vicious circle, generation after generation.


TAS: "BUT DOKTERS GIV DA SPANK OF DA LIFEZZZ!!11!1!!!!!11!1!!1!1! DERE IS NOE EVEDENS TO SUPPORT YOU CLAIMZ!!!111!!1!!!!"

[Image: Untitled-2.png?_subject_uid=322943157&am...Y7Dzq4lJog]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Logica Humano's post
25-03-2012, 01:44 AM
RE: Why aren't children treated like Adults?
Because children are usually viewed as young and not being able to make the right decisions properly. They do not seem mature and sometimes the actions of what younger people do really gives the impression that people think of. Children are also weaker mentally and physically. That is why if children break the law they would have a minor punishment, not serving jail or whatever.

"My nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight." - Marcus Luttrell
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
25-03-2012, 11:41 AM
RE: Why aren't children treated like Adults?
I know this is off-topic but TAS' comment about the kid in the supermarket made me think of this video:




"But the point is, find somebody to love. Everything else is overrated." - HouseofCantor
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Smooshmonster's post
25-03-2012, 02:56 PM
RE: Why aren't children treated like Adults?
(25-03-2012 11:41 AM)Smooshmonster Wrote:  I know this is off-topic but TAS' comment about the kid in the supermarket made me think of this video:



It was waaay worse than that video.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
25-03-2012, 05:19 PM
Because they aren't adults.
Children do not have the thinking skills or judgement to be treated like adults.

Of course, many adults don't either.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
25-03-2012, 06:17 PM
RE: Because they aren't adults.
(25-03-2012 05:19 PM)Chas Wrote:  Children do not have the thinking skills or judgement to be treated like adults.

Of course, many adults don't either.
Well I was going to say many adults don't have that skill either but you beat me to it. So we have an agreement then that it's not because of their age but how they're brought up, so I think it's safe to say if we treat them like adults they'll act like adults when they grow up. And if we treat them like children... well... no comment.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
25-03-2012, 09:37 PM
RE: Because they aren't adults.
(25-03-2012 06:17 PM)TheArcticSage Wrote:  
(25-03-2012 05:19 PM)Chas Wrote:  Children do not have the thinking skills or judgement to be treated like adults.

Of course, many adults don't either.
Well I was going to say many adults don't have that skill either but you beat me to it. So we have an agreement then that it's not because of their age but how they're brought up, so I think it's safe to say if we treat them like adults they'll act like adults when they grow up. And if we treat them like children... well... no comment.
No, we don't agree. We bring them up to adulthood. They are not capable of adult reasoning, judgement, emotions, impulse control, and so on. They need education and guidance. They are not adult and can not be treated as adults. It is a process whereby they learn to become adults.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Chas's post
29-03-2012, 10:24 PM
RE: Why aren't children treated like Adults?
I could not read through all the posts, but instead of addressing anything in particular I'll just add my two cents. I have taken child development classes and taught Pre-K for about 4 years. I have found that positive discipline works well for both the child and adult. I think it also allows for closer and stronger relationships between parent/child and teacher/child. Jane Nelsen (Positive Discipline) has some great books out as well as Po Bronson (Nurture Shock), just to name a few.

We know so much more now about the way children's minds develop, what they need from us as infants and toddlers, and how we can help them grow into self reliant, critically thinking adults with a healthy sense of self.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: