Why can't I find a woman who is willing to serve me?
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12-10-2014, 08:24 AM
Why can't I find a woman who is willing to serve me?
Hi. I'm a 35 year old male and I've never had a girlfriend who is willing to serve me.

When I was a kid, my mother always told me that I should treat women nicely and do things for them. So that's what I've always done. And I like doing stuff for women.

I like buying gifts (nothing too expensive, just gestures), bringing things for them, cooking for them, helping them out, fixing things when they need fixing, running errands if it's not too much of an inconvenience, the list goes on and on and on. It's the way I've always been. I get a lot of satisfaction from doing things for women.

The problem is that they don't like to reciprocate. I had my first girlfriend at the age of 17, and since then I've had 12 in total. And without exception, whenever I politely asked them to do something, even something minor like bringing me something from across the room, their responses have ranged from doing it very reluctantly to arguing about why I'm telling them what to do. All of them have had a real big problem about it.

I've always thought that it's supposed to be a two way street. You serve them, they serve you, you help each other, and as a result you're better off with each other. like a team.

So why is it that all 12 of the girlfriends that I've had, had such a bug up their ass about something so simple and reasonable as doing something for the other person? I treated them all very well and yet they did very little for me. Like I say, my philosophy is that you should help and serve each other.

If I have no problem serving them and making their lives better, how come they couldn't stand the thought of serving me too?
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12-10-2014, 09:11 AM
RE: Why can't I find a woman who is willing to serve me?
Welcome to the forum.

Yup. An atheist forum is most definitely the right place to have asked this question.

Answer 1: You might be looking on the wrong continent.

Answer 2: Service Level Agreement ... establishing boundaries / roles and responsibilities.

Big Grin

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12-10-2014, 09:16 AM
RE: Why can't I find a woman who is willing to serve me?
It depends on what you mean by 'serve'. Is there any difference between how you serve them and how you expect them to serve you? If not then surely there's a better word than serve?
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12-10-2014, 09:17 AM
RE: Why can't I find a woman who is willing to serve me?
I can't tell if you're serious or joking. I hope you're joking.
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12-10-2014, 09:23 AM (This post was last modified: 12-10-2014 12:58 PM by Chas.)
RE: Why can't I find a woman who is willing to serve me?
Maybe you have, as a therapist friend was wont to say, a broken 'chooser'.

Your sample space is women you have chosen to have relationships with.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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12-10-2014, 09:28 AM
RE: Why can't I find a woman who is willing to serve me?
A woman to serve you? Consider

Nope, I got nuthin.

A woman to service you - most cities have a district where you can find that for the right price.

DLJ's right - wrong kinda forum for that shit dude.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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12-10-2014, 09:28 AM
RE: Why can't I find a woman who is willing to serve me?
Is it generous if you expect something in return? No, it isn't. Tongue
They don't owe you a damn thing, good joke though.

"I don't have to have faith, I have experience." Joseph Campbell
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12-10-2014, 09:30 AM
RE: Why can't I find a woman who is willing to serve me?
(12-10-2014 09:11 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Answer 1: You might be looking on the wrong continent.

Dodgy

(12-10-2014 09:17 AM)pablo Wrote:  I can't tell if you're serious or joking. I hope you're joking.

Read his whole post. It's not as bad as it sounds Tongue


As for the OP, people always complain about not finding the kind of guy/girl they want. Sure, you may fall in love with girls who are not perfect, and of course you shouldn't expect any of them to be perfect.

Have you ever considered the possibility that, since you like doing stuff for girls, the ones you choose are the kind of girls who only want to be "served" and not offer anything back?

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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12-10-2014, 09:35 AM
RE: Why can't I find a woman who is willing to serve me?
(12-10-2014 08:24 AM)Forbes Wrote:  So why is it that all 12 of the girlfriends that I've had, had such a bug up their ass about something so simple and reasonable as doing something for the other person?

Oh for 12 Consider

Chas may be on to something.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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12-10-2014, 09:43 AM
RE: Why can't I find a woman who is willing to serve me?
(12-10-2014 09:30 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  Have you ever considered the possibility that, since you like doing stuff for girls, the ones you choose are the kind of girls who only want to be "served" and not offer anything back?

Yes. For some reason I tend to end up with women who aren't willing to reciprocate kindness. They are as you say all too happy to be served but they're not so keen on doing anything much in return.
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