Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
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16-11-2012, 09:18 PM (This post was last modified: 16-11-2012 09:40 PM by kpax.)
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
Why did I come out and not just keep it to myself?

I don't know? Why doesn't everyone just keep their religion to themselves? It simply doesn't happen.

But for one, if I am no longer something that I used to be, what others have known me as, I cannot go on living a lie to the people I love for the sake of being undramatic. If I was an atheist from the get go there would be no issue but I wasn't. I was raised Christian and that's what they knew me as. I wanted to know what they could expect from me. In order for them to love me for who I am, I had to tell them and let them choose if they wanted to accept the new me or not so that everyone could move on.

The friends and family I came out to live in their own little religious bubble. I think it actually did them some good to show that there was a non-threatening individual who did not exactly believe like them. The best past is they told me they still loved me. Now I can move on without feeling like I'm hiding drug use or something. I shouldn't have to feel like I'm living in shame for something that isn't shameful.

On a deeper sense the reason so many wars and atrocities have happened to atheists or even people with different beliefs is because they weren't understood. If more people 'come out' then we become more understood over time.

(16-11-2012 08:14 PM)Janus Wrote:  Why not simply go your atheist way and live your atheist life? And let them lead theirs? Free choice!

When the day comes when we are free to live an atheist life without the drama, atrocities and misunderstanding from everyone else then maybe we wouldn't have to be 'so dramatic' about it.

It seems you have some growing up to do if you really believe life is always drama free.
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16-11-2012, 09:22 PM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
(16-11-2012 08:43 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  
(16-11-2012 08:39 PM)Janus Wrote:  Achieving what exactly besides setting yourself up as a target for nastiness?
So avoiding problems solves them? Fuck, I coulda saved myself so much time in my life. Weeping


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16-11-2012, 09:28 PM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
(16-11-2012 09:18 PM)kpax Wrote:  
(16-11-2012 08:14 PM)Janus Wrote:  Why not simply go your atheist way and live your atheist life? And let them lead theirs? Free choice!

When the day comes when we are free to live an atheist life without the drama, atrocities and misunderstanding from everyone else then maybe we wouldn't have to be 'so dramatic' about it.

It seems you have some growing up to do if you really believe life is always drama free.
This has been said before, but there is also the fact that many religious people will not simply go their theist way and leave you alone, sometimes because they feel it is their duty not to. So I think more visibility for atheists could be a good thing and help some people realize not all atheists eat babies and sacrifice virgins.

Also, if you keep it a secret, some people may keep inviting you to church with them, or ask you to lead prayers. I go into churches for funerals and weddings, but I do feel a bit out of place in an actual church service. And I would feel like a total fraud if I led anyone in prayer.

Additionally, theists thing it's perfectly ok to tell others their religion, so I don't see why atheists should feel scared and ashamed and keep it a secret. While there's no need for everyone to shout it from the rooftops, I don't think secrecy is the best way to go for everyone, either. I've seen a lot of people "come out" as born again Christians, so I don't see the problem with people who are atheists or whatever else that might be a big change to make it known to their friends and family.
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16-11-2012, 09:32 PM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
Yeah, I agree. I'm not saying send out printed announcements and call the seven o'clock news or anything.

I just don't see how telling a few loved ones is dramatic at all, though the original poster does.

Even if is dramatic, who cares? For some people it is necessary. I know it surely helped me move on.
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16-11-2012, 10:07 PM (This post was last modified: 16-11-2012 10:12 PM by Janus.)
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
(16-11-2012 09:01 PM)lucradis Wrote:  Nobody asks me to pray with them anymore. Also I don't get invited to mass, or to church every sunday. So .. yeah duh.

Now if only I could get the people who approach me in the street to not do it.

That's easy: eat Korean cuisine. Or take off your sunglasses.
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16-11-2012, 11:32 PM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
I think it's particularly needed in very religious environments, not only family but cities or towns, where faith is used to define people and it's a very common topic of conversation.
It's like sexuality, for homosexuals is important to come out of the closet because people talk about sex constantly, and responses are expected of you when others talk with you, and keeping the secret it's very tiresome, unhealthy even.
So in those cases it's necessary, of course, in other situations is not as important.

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17-11-2012, 12:24 AM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
(16-11-2012 08:14 PM)Janus Wrote:  Until early puberty I didn't really understand religion. Then I did and saw it was bullshit. I never hid that opinion. Just lived by it. But I never made it a public spectacle among believers either. It simply never was a point. I didn't make it a point. They didn't make it a point. No problems, no hardships, nothing.



So that's why I don't understand many 'new' atheïsts' apparent need to do a kind of 'coming out'. Write letters to their religious brethren. Make a public speech, announcement about it at some point. It all seems completely unnecessarily apologetic and dramatical to me. In fact inviting obstacles! Doesn't look like a wise way to handle it, imo. Rather masochistic, actually.



So why?

I don't understand.

Why not simply go your atheist way and live your atheist life? And let them lead theirs? Free choice!
I find it rather absurd you're asking on a forum for....people who are atheists.

Leviticus does not justify stupidity, but it is more than enough to define corruption of the human mind.

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17-11-2012, 12:35 AM
Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
(16-11-2012 11:32 PM)nach_in Wrote:  I think it's particularly needed in very religious environments, not only family but cities or towns, where faith is used to define people and it's a very common topic of conversation.
It's like sexuality, for homosexuals is important to come out of the closet because people talk about sex constantly, and responses are expected of you when others talk with you, and keeping the secret it's very tiresome, unhealthy even.
So in those cases it's necessary, of course, in other situations is not as important.

This is a good point. It wouldn't be healthy for a gay dude to not come out but just live his life. Not even sure how that would work. He'd have his mother trying to set him up with girls from church all of the time.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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17-11-2012, 12:50 AM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
(16-11-2012 10:07 PM)Janus Wrote:  That's easy: eat Korean cuisine. Or take off your sunglasses.




Hey Janus .. has anyone told you yet that your a fucking idiot? .........

well incase someone missed it..

Janus... your a fucking idiot!

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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17-11-2012, 02:58 AM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
Personally, I never had to "come out" to anyone. My transition was gradual and obvious to everyone around me, and like the frog in the slow-boiling pot of water; I was an outspoken atheist before anyone realized it. The only noticable change was a gradual increase in theological debates. Everyone got used to it the same time I did.

Having said that, I also understand that not everyone has experienced such a transition. Theirs has been something of shame or unease. Their families and friends may not be as accepting or level-headed as mine. For them, becoming an atheist is something that must be handled with care. And while I may not care about shocking or alienating anyone; others are not so self-sustaining. Some people can't imagine going a day without their loved-ones smiling at them. They dread the thought of hurting or offending even the most deluded among them, precisely because they care about them. In their compassion, they feel the need to repress themselves, and if they decide to come out in the open, they do so with as much caution and care as possible.

I personally agree with your overall sentiments, but not everyone is like us.

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