Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
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17-11-2012, 08:37 AM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
My guess is Janus is a theist who doesn't like that people are proud to turn away from the flock.

Let me add to my answer. One reason people feel the need to mention their lack of religious devotion is to distance themselves from people like Janus.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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17-11-2012, 08:55 AM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
k didn't spend a an hour reading back 5 pages, therefore sorry if stuff has been said before. In that case, ignore me!

I never had a big coming out either. It was just the way it was. But I had the advantage of growing up in a country where it is not really important if you are religious because it is run secular and most people don't talk about religion as it is mostly a personal thing.

BUT

I do understand others who do have a coming out.
See, they may live in a highly religious environment or country. Now they lost the base of their live, they are the only one. They don't feel good pretending that they still believe, they don't feel comfortable to pray at mealtimes or to nod friendly when someone says religious things. And when directly asked a question about religion, they don't wanna lie.
It is a really big burden to live a lie. It hurts more to live like that then to disappoint a few people but feel free and feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulder.
Some people don't have the option to come out and they have to stay in relgious circles, I don't even wanna think about how much mental pain that causes and how much of an effort it is to not go insane in that case. Think about priests who lost faith but never learnt anything else, and everything they have depends on them staying a priest: health insurance, the house they live in, probably the wife that still does believe, the money to buy food....

No it is not masochistic or drama seeking behaviour. It is the wish to get out of an environment that is not good for their mental health. You can't just pull away from your religious family or be rude by disaggreeing about half the stuff they say because that is all religious. You have to make it clear to them "I do not believe anymore, please don't ask my opinion on this or you'll get hurt." That is a much more healthy way to approach the problem. Even if it causes family drama a lot of times. I think about a certain member here, who is going through hell right now, just because this member came out. But at least this person was honest!
Lieing is much worse!

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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17-11-2012, 09:13 AM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
I have never been a believer and have never made any bones about it.

However, I was getting too much religious crap on FB, so in April I posted on my page:

If you were in any doubt ...
[Image: 305567_333934096666635_1994758875_n.jpg]

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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17-11-2012, 09:39 AM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
Chas,
I'd say that was uncharacteristically verbose.
But very deadly!

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17-11-2012, 03:44 PM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
(16-11-2012 08:39 PM)Janus Wrote:  
(16-11-2012 08:24 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  I would say because atheism is a minority, and minorities can be suppressed. Coming out is a way of shaking the shackles so to speak. In many family units, the dynamics are governed by the religion and when one announces publicly that they are free of the doctrine than they can, in some respect, be free to live outside the doctrine rules. Some examples for today are things like the way women are treated, sexual orientation, submissiveness, slavery, oppression, etc. Real issues that deserve a stand. People are sick of the influence and coming out is a way to set a boundary for these things.


Achieving what exactly besides setting yourself up as a target for nastiness?
Here, in part, I think is why you don't get it. Nastiness is your expected outcome, but it doesn't have to be. Yes, some families are nasty about it, but others aren't. When people come out, they are hoping not to have the nastiness, but instead to reach mutual, peaceful acceptance.

At it's most basic level, coming out is simply communication - and communication is an important root factor of any good relationship. And that's what people "coming out" want. They want to keep the good relationships they have had all along. It may not always work that way, but that's what they want. The communication is necessary because, having developed a historical expectation from family members and friends that they are religious, they need to reverse the expectation so they don't have to continue in uncomfortable situations trying to hide their atheism or simply avoiding going along with the religious. Also honestly is another important relationship ingredient that people coming out are trying to maintain as well.

"Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea." --Madalyn Murray O'Hair
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17-11-2012, 04:47 PM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
I think of atheism like this. All of humanity is on a giant plane that crashes into the ocean. So we're all underwater and confused and drowning. Most people just give up hope and accept it and drown. But I refused to give up, I kept looking around, trying to find a way out, learning about my surroundings. And when I finally breached the surface of the water and took in gasping breaths of fresh air, it was the best feeling ever. Then I noticed other people treading the water with me and of course I'm going to call out to them and celebrate. We just survived an event that claimed millions of lives, so there's a reason to make a big deal out of it.

Now some of you jumped from the plane before it hit the water, so you never experienced the cold, helpless feeling of drowning. And maybe that's why you don't understand why we're making such a big deal. You have been treading water the whole time, bored, and wondering where everyone is.

And in the spirit of a completely metaphorical post, we must not give up hope for other survivors. I'll keep diving down, trying to save my family, even though I know it's most likely too late.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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17-11-2012, 04:55 PM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
Nice analogy, BC.

I embraced atheism last year and treated it rather nonchalantly. I don't believe in closets, and I figure if I don't make an issue of it, most others won't either. But for many people, coming out is huge and I respect that.

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17-11-2012, 05:21 PM
Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
(17-11-2012 04:47 PM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  I think of atheism like this. All of humanity is on a giant plane that crashes into the ocean. So we're all underwater and confused and drowning. Most people just give up hope and accept it and drown. But I refused to give up, I kept looking around, trying to find a way out, learning about my surroundings. And when I finally breached the surface of the water and took in gasping breaths of fresh air, it was the best feeling ever. Then I noticed other people treading the water with me and of course I'm going to call out to them and celebrate. We just survived an event that claimed millions of lives, so there's a reason to make a big deal out of it.

Now some of you jumped from the plane before it hit the water, so you never experienced the cold, helpless feeling of drowning. And maybe that's why you don't understand why we're making such a big deal. You have been treading water the whole time, bored, and wondering where everyone is.

And in the spirit of a completely metaphorical post, we must not give up hope for other survivors. I'll keep diving down, trying to save my family, even though I know it's most likely too late.

And then you swim to shore and find strange things like polar bears and smoke monsters and people called The Others.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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17-11-2012, 06:29 PM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
(17-11-2012 05:21 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  
(17-11-2012 04:47 PM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  I think of atheism like this. All of humanity is on a giant plane that crashes into the ocean. So we're all underwater and confused and drowning. Most people just give up hope and accept it and drown. But I refused to give up, I kept looking around, trying to find a way out, learning about my surroundings. And when I finally breached the surface of the water and took in gasping breaths of fresh air, it was the best feeling ever. Then I noticed other people treading the water with me and of course I'm going to call out to them and celebrate. We just survived an event that claimed millions of lives, so there's a reason to make a big deal out of it.

Now some of you jumped from the plane before it hit the water, so you never experienced the cold, helpless feeling of drowning. And maybe that's why you don't understand why we're making such a big deal. You have been treading water the whole time, bored, and wondering where everyone is.

And in the spirit of a completely metaphorical post, we must not give up hope for other survivors. I'll keep diving down, trying to save my family, even though I know it's most likely too late.


And then you swim to shore and find strange things like polar bears and smoke monsters and people called The Others.


And The Others will probably eat you.
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18-11-2012, 05:23 AM
RE: Why does turning atheist have to be an 'event'? A 'coming out'? Why the drama?
(16-11-2012 09:13 PM)amyb Wrote:  Apparently it was a fucking slow week for PA news, so they decided to visit my town because they'd heard people were becoming less religious. They did a special called "the devil in our backyard." They interviewed a moronic devil worshiper that was mad at god, and then, when they asked around town, everyone told them to interview me, i guess. So I talked about not believing in gods or any type of woo due to not having evidence, also attempted to dispel rumors that I was a devil worshiper. This was in 1997 or so. Since then, not one relative has asked me to attend church with them...


Maybe they think you will catch fire if you set foot inside a church. Silly christians, atheists are immune to that. Tongue
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