Why would God Need Angels?
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07-01-2015, 09:33 AM (This post was last modified: 07-01-2015 10:59 AM by TheInquisition.)
Why would God Need Angels?
Angels, why does god need so much help?

A thread about guardian angels got me thinking, why does god need angels?

When you view angels in the context that every time they are used, it’s an admission that god can’t or won’t do something himself.
With that viewpoint, it’s quite interesting going through the bible and seeing what angels are tasked to do, going to Christiansnawers.net, they show several examples of what angels are sent to do.

Quote:• Worship and praise—This is the main activity portrayed in heaven (Isaiah 6:1-3; Revelation 4-5).

Why? I thought that’s what humans were for. Maybe he wanted automatons to worship him, but with a very famous angel that fell from heaven, they apparently aren’t automatons either and god once again screws up and creates beings that rebel against him.

Quote:Messengers—They serve as messengers to communicate God’s will to men. They helped reveal the law to Moses (Acts 7:52-53), and served as the carriers of much of the material in Daniel, and Revelation.

Why can’t god speak with a voice inside someone’s mind? Why are angels necessary? This makes absolutely no sense, is god just giving angels busy work so they don’t rebel again?

Quote:Guiding—Angels gave instructions to Joseph about the birth of Jesus (Matthew 1-2), to the women at the tomb, to Philip (Acts 8:26), and to Cornelius (Acts 10:1-8).

Again, WTF is this necessary when he could easily communicate directly to a mind?

Quote:• Providing—God has used angels to provide physical needs such as food for Hagar (Genesis 21:17-20), Elijah (1 Kings 19:6), and Christ after His temptation (Matthew 4:11).

Why couldn’t god simply “poof” food in front of people without using angels? Remember all of that creating stuff he did in Genesis? So he can’t even whip up a pizza now?

He wouldn’t even go to Jesus himself! He sent an angel instead! Seriously, WTF is god’s problem when he won’t even go to his own incarnated self? He sends a freakin’ servant to his own son!

Doesn't really support the idea that this god is personal does it?

Quote:Protecting—Keeping God’s people out of physical danger, as in the cases of Daniel and the lions, and his three friends in the fiery furnace (Daniel 3 and 6).

Why were they even in danger in the first place? Why not change the King’s mind so he doesn’t put him in the fiery furnace to begin with? Hello? Remember the Pharoah in Exodus?

Quote:• Delivering—Getting God’s people out of danger once they’re in it. Angels released the apostles from prison in Acts 5, and repeated the process for Peter in Acts 12.

Seriously? God can’t even unlock a door by himself? I guess he never leveled up his lock picking abilities to do this.

Quote:Strengthening and encouraging—Angels strengthened Jesus after His temptation (Matt 4:11), encouraged the apostles to keep preaching after releasing them from prison (Acts 5:19-20), and told Paul that everyone on his ship would survive the impending shipwreck (Acts 27:23-25).

Again, you won’t minister to your own son? What an ass!

Encouraging to keep preaching? God won’t do this directly? God can’t communicate directly?

Quote:Answering prayer—God often uses angels as His means of answering the prayers of His people (Daniel 9:20-24; 10:10-12; Acts 12:1-17).

So; according to bible myth, we should be praying to angels, because god never answers prayer, it’s his angels that actually do it. What if you ask for something that an angel doesn't have the power to do, but god wants it done? Guess your out of luck, sorry holocaust victims!

Quote:Caring for believers at the moment of death—In the story of Lazarus and the rich man, we read that angels carried the spirit of Lazarus to “Abraham’s bosom” when he died (Luke 16:22).

Wouldn’t it be nice if god himself actually did this, nope you get angel #7,345,666; Cherubim class, to take care of this duty.

How does this square with a personal god?

Quote:Executioners—Angels are sometimes used by God to punish sin. An angel of the Lord went forth and smote an Assyrian camp (2 Kings 19:20-34)—“behold, they were all dead corpses.” The Assyrian army was annihilated. A destroying angel was sent, but later withheld, to punish David for his vanity in taking a census of the great number of his people. At the time of Moses and the Exodus, the Egyptian firstborn where killed by an angel of death.

Oh yeah, god doesn’t do the dirty work himself, he sends angels to do the wetwork, I guess courage isn't one of his attributes, omnichickenshit is part of his nature.

Too bad he didn’t send those angels to do any of this when Hitler was marching his chosen people into ovens. Oh well, mysterious ways and all…….

So we can conclude that god does not deal with any of his affairs personally, apparently in direct conflict with his omnipresent capabilities.

He lacks the will or the power to do even the simplest of tasks. His lack is the antithesis of omnipotent, omnipresent or omniscient.

God can't even make a pizza! No

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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07-01-2015, 10:17 AM
RE: Why would God Need Angels?
It's a sad God that can't make pizza Big Grin
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07-01-2015, 10:41 AM
RE: Why would God Need Angels?
(07-01-2015 09:33 AM)TheInquisition Wrote:  Angels, why does god need so much help?

A thread about guardian angels got me thinking, why does god need angels?

When you view angels in the context that every time they are used, it’s an admission that god can’t or won’t do something.
With that viewpoint, it’s quite interesting going through the bible and seeing what angels are tasked to do, going to Christiansnawers.net, they show several examples of what angels are sent to do.

Quote:• Worship and praise—This is the main activity portrayed in heaven (Isaiah 6:1-3; Revelation 4-5).

Why? I thought that’s what humans were for. Maybe he wanted automatons to worship him, but with a very famous angel that fell from heaven, they apparently aren’t automatons either and god once again screws up and creates beings that rebel against him.

Quote:Messengers—They serve as messengers to communicate God’s will to men. They helped reveal the law to Moses (Acts 7:52-53), and served as the carriers of much of the material in Daniel, and Revelation.

Why can’t god speak with a voice inside someone’s mind? Why are angels necessary? This makes absolutely no sense, is god just giving angels busy work so they don’t rebel again?

Quote:Guiding—Angels gave instructions to Joseph about the birth of Jesus (Matthew 1-2), to the women at the tomb, to Philip (Acts 8:26), and to Cornelius (Acts 10:1-8).

Again, WTF is this necessary when he could easily communicate directly to a mind?

Quote:• Providing—God has used angels to provide physical needs such as food for Hagar (Genesis 21:17-20), Elijah (1 Kings 19:6), and Christ after His temptation (Matthew 4:11).

Why couldn’t god simply “poof” food in front of people without using angels? Remember all of that creating stuff he did in Genesis? So he can’t even whip up a pizza now?

He wouldn’t even go to Jesus himself! He sent an angel instead! Seriously, WTF is god’s problem when he won’t even go to his own incarnated self? He sends a freakin’ servant to his own son!

Doesn't really support the idea that this god is personal does it?

Quote:Protecting—Keeping God’s people out of physical danger, as in the cases of Daniel and the lions, and his three friends in the fiery furnace (Daniel 3 and 6).

Why were they even in danger in the first place? Why not change the King’s mind so he doesn’t put him in the fiery furnace to begin with? Hello? Remember the Pharoah in Exodus?

Quote:• Delivering—Getting God’s people out of danger once they’re in it. Angels released the apostles from prison in Acts 5, and repeated the process for Peter in Acts 12.

Seriously? God can’t even unlock a door by himself? I guess he never leveled up his lock picking abilities to do this.

Quote:Strengthening and encouraging—Angels strengthened Jesus after His temptation (Matt 4:11), encouraged the apostles to keep preaching after releasing them from prison (Acts 5:19-20), and told Paul that everyone on his ship would survive the impending shipwreck (Acts 27:23-25).

Again, you won’t minister to your own son? What an ass!

Encouraging to keep preaching? God won’t do this directly? God can’t communicate directly?



Quote:Answering prayer—God often uses angels as His means of answering the prayers of His people (Daniel 9:20-24; 10:10-12; Acts 12:1-17).

So; according to bible myth, we should be praying to angels, because god never answers prayer, it’s his angels that actually do it. What if you ask for something that an angel doesn't have the power to do, but god wants it done? Guess your out of luck, sorry holocaust victims!

Quote:Caring for believers at the moment of death—In the story of Lazarus and the rich man, we read that angels carried the spirit of Lazarus to “Abraham’s bosom” when he died (Luke 16:22).

Wouldn’t it be nice if god himself actually did this, nope you get angel #7,345,666; Cherubim class, to take care of this duty.

How does this square with a personal god?

Quote:Executioners—Angels are sometimes used by God to punish sin. An angel of the Lord went forth and smote an Assyrian camp (2 Kings 19:20-34)—“behold, they were all dead corpses.” The Assyrian army was annihilated. A destroying angel was sent, but later withheld, to punish David for his vanity in taking a census of the great number of his people. At the time of Moses and the Exodus, the Egyptian firstborn where killed by an angel of death.

Oh yeah, god doesn’t do the dirty work himself, he sends angels to do the wetwork, I guess courage isn't one of his attributes, omnichickenshit is part of his nature.

Too bad he didn’t send those angels to do any of this when Hitler was marching his chosen people into ovens. Oh well, mysterious ways and all…….

So we can conclude that god does not deal with any of his affairs personally, apparently in direct conflict with his omnipresent capabilities.

He lacks the will or the power to do even the simplest of tasks. His lack is the antithesis of omnipotent, omnipresent or omniscient.

God can't even make a pizza! No

This particular god seems to be so inept he needs bodyguards and henchmen to do the dirty work for him. Kinda like a mafia boss.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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07-01-2015, 11:07 AM
RE: Why would God Need Angels?
It's basic management. Never do yourself what you can assign an underling to do. If the underling succeeds, all the credit is yours. If the underling mucks it up, it wasn't your fault and the underling can be sacked or demoted or nailed to a cross; your hands are clean. Good underling control is what makes management revered and respected and paid all the money. God: the first MBA.
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07-01-2015, 11:17 AM
RE: Why would God Need Angels?
I think I saw at least one Christian claim god uses angels as servants in heaven.

Which is an interesting idea to keep in mind the next time god kills a kid and his followers claim "he needed another angel".

Popcorn I put more thought into fiction than theists put into reality.
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07-01-2015, 11:23 AM
RE: Why would God Need Angels?
In contrast to the usual occlusion...

[Image: 2013_victorias_secret_fashion.jpg]

...I'm not seeing the mystery here.

living word
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07-01-2015, 02:31 PM
RE: Why would God Need Angels?
(07-01-2015 09:33 AM)TheInquisition Wrote:  why does god need

'Nuff said.

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07-01-2015, 06:54 PM
RE: Why would God Need Angels?
(07-01-2015 11:23 AM)houseofcantor Wrote:  In contrast to the usual occlusion...

[Image: 2013_victorias_secret_fashion.jpg]

...I'm not seeing the mystery here.

[Image: angel.jpg]

#sigh
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07-01-2015, 07:50 PM
RE: Why would God Need Angels?
What else would them Medieval theologians have to do all day ?
From : http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...ist?page=2

And a bishop, who has no children, can say to a Father, "now now, my son".
And actually the son, might say to his father, "now now, my son"
And a nun without children, can be called Mother.
But a bishop, who is not a real son, can say, "now now", to a mother,
A brother is also a father, and even a possible bishop.
But a mother who has no children, can say "now now, my daughter".
But the daughter can say "now now" to her son , the bishop.
God also has a daughter, (the church), but she doesn't count, as he has only one son.
(There must be a formula for the number of possible permutations of these relationships). Possibly a new field in Math, Ecclesiastical Permutations.

Then ya got yer angels. Ya gatta know yer angels, and especially where their night spots/discos are, and where they dance. Angels like to dance. They dance on pins. The heads of pins to be exact. Angels, which do not reproduce, are, nonetheless, he angels and she angels. Angels come in orders. There are 3 orders of angels. The orders each have 3 sub groups.
(Aren't ya glad they had time to figgure all this out for us)
1. Ya got yer plain ole angel. You don't know it, but you have one of these assigned to you, your guardian angel.
2. Then ya got yer arch angel. Archangels are in charge of electric arcs, arcs in general, (like the one Noah made) and hang around architectural arches, in gated communities. The most famous one of these guys is Michael. He lives in France on that mountain. He's into swords, fencing, and sword play. Another one from the news was Gabriel. Gabriel flys in windows, and tells virgins they are preggers, cuz he like to scare the shit out of young girls.
3. Then ya got yer Princ-ipalities. Princ-ipalities are angels which sing "Little Red Corvette" to god, and change once in a while, to be called "the artists", and are pals of Prince, in general.
4. Dominations are next. These are kinky angels which, ..... well, we know what they do.
5. Then ya got yer Virtues. This group of angels hand out powers, cuz, well, somebody has to hand out something.
6. Powers. The powers come next. This group of angels live in electric lines, and are really really skiiny, so they can get through, of course.
7. Next are the Thrones. These angles were made by high school wood shop students, and are angels you sit on, and look, like, really bored, but just be happy you got a seat.
8. Cherubims are next to the top. They wish they were at the top, and people always think they are lower than the Thrones, because they are often confused with the Chair-ubim, but you really cannot sit on these angels.
9. And last, on top, ya got yer Seraphim. These, of course are all men, and like to be on top, and they also like to start fires, so they are the arsonist angels. Since they are so close to the throne of the god, the sheriff can't arrest them. They are also generally in charge of ozone depleting hair care products.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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07-01-2015, 08:11 PM
RE: Why would God Need Angels?
(07-01-2015 11:17 AM)CleverUsername Wrote:  I think I saw at least one Christian claim god uses angels as servants in heaven.

Which is an interesting idea to keep in mind the next time god kills a kid and his followers claim "he needed another angel".

So he's got all these little children as servants? Guess he doesn't follow child labor laws, the bastard.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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