Why would God Need Angels?

[RobbyPants]

(07-01-2015 09:33 AM)TheInquisition Wrote:  Angels, why does god need so much help?

These were all very good points in your OP. My version: God is not omnipotent and he lacks the foresight and ingenuity to create a universe where he doesn't need helpers.

I know the stock apologetic here is supposed to be [mysterious ways], but my version actually gives an answer while still jiving with what the Bible says.

[H4ym4n]

(16-01-2015 06:04 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  

(16-01-2015 06:52 AM)darkmatter Wrote:  Bah. For all I care, it is the angel who impregnated Mary. So much for virgin birth.

The only way you can do it is by artificial insemination.

Why else would an angel send his quote Message unquote at night?

Oh, those angels are horney little devils, aren't they

Do angels have naughty bits?

Do angels reproduce?

Do male angels have foreskins?

---

[CiderThinker]

Because God is lazy?

[dancefortwo]

(21-01-2015 08:01 AM)CiderThinker Wrote:  Because God is lazy?

Maybe god can't get it up so he sends his angels to screw 13 year old virgin girls instead.

The bastard.

[wadehthomson]

(07-01-2015 09:33 AM)TheInquisition Wrote:  Angels, why does god need so much help?

A thread about guardian angels got me thinking, why does god need angels?

When you view angels in the context that every time they are used, it’s an admission that god can’t or won’t do something himself.
With that viewpoint, it’s quite interesting going through the bible and seeing what angels are tasked to do, going to Christiansnawers.net, they show several examples of what angels are sent to do.

Quote:• Worship and praise—This is the main activity portrayed in heaven (Isaiah 6:1-3; Revelation 4-5).

Why? I thought that’s what humans were for. Maybe he wanted automatons to worship him, but with a very famous angel that fell from heaven, they apparently aren’t automatons either and god once again screws up and creates beings that rebel against him.

Quote:Messengers—They serve as messengers to communicate God’s will to men. They helped reveal the law to Moses (Acts 7:52-53), and served as the carriers of much of the material in Daniel, and Revelation.

Why can’t god speak with a voice inside someone’s mind? Why are angels necessary? This makes absolutely no sense, is god just giving angels busy work so they don’t rebel again?

Quote:Guiding—Angels gave instructions to Joseph about the birth of Jesus (Matthew 1-2), to the women at the tomb, to Philip (Acts 8:26), and to Cornelius (Acts 10:1-8).

Again, WTF is this necessary when he could easily communicate directly to a mind?

Quote:• Providing—God has used angels to provide physical needs such as food for Hagar (Genesis 21:17-20), Elijah (1 Kings 19:6), and Christ after His temptation (Matthew 4:11).

Why couldn’t god simply “poof” food in front of people without using angels? Remember all of that creating stuff he did in Genesis? So he can’t even whip up a pizza now?

He wouldn’t even go to Jesus himself! He sent an angel instead! Seriously, WTF is god’s problem when he won’t even go to his own incarnated self? He sends a freakin’ servant to his own son!

Doesn't really support the idea that this god is personal does it?

Quote:Protecting—Keeping God’s people out of physical danger, as in the cases of Daniel and the lions, and his three friends in the fiery furnace (Daniel 3 and 6).

Why were they even in danger in the first place? Why not change the King’s mind so he doesn’t put him in the fiery furnace to begin with? Hello? Remember the Pharoah in Exodus?

Quote:• Delivering—Getting God’s people out of danger once they’re in it. Angels released the apostles from prison in Acts 5, and repeated the process for Peter in Acts 12.

Seriously? God can’t even unlock a door by himself? I guess he never leveled up his lock picking abilities to do this.

Quote:Strengthening and encouraging—Angels strengthened Jesus after His temptation (Matt 4:11), encouraged the apostles to keep preaching after releasing them from prison (Acts 5:19-20), and told Paul that everyone on his ship would survive the impending shipwreck (Acts 27:23-25).

Again, you won’t minister to your own son? What an ass!

Encouraging to keep preaching? God won’t do this directly? God can’t communicate directly?

Quote:Answering prayer—God often uses angels as His means of answering the prayers of His people (Daniel 9:20-24; 10:10-12; Acts 12:1-17).

So; according to bible myth, we should be praying to angels, because god never answers prayer, it’s his angels that actually do it. What if you ask for something that an angel doesn't have the power to do, but god wants it done? Guess your out of luck, sorry holocaust victims!

Quote:Caring for believers at the moment of death—In the story of Lazarus and the rich man, we read that angels carried the spirit of Lazarus to “Abraham’s bosom” when he died (Luke 16:22).

Wouldn’t it be nice if god himself actually did this, nope you get angel #7,345,666; Cherubim class, to take care of this duty.

How does this square with a personal god?

Quote:Executioners—Angels are sometimes used by God to punish sin. An angel of the Lord went forth and smote an Assyrian camp (2 Kings 19:20-34)—“behold, they were all dead corpses.” The Assyrian army was annihilated. A destroying angel was sent, but later withheld, to punish David for his vanity in taking a census of the great number of his people. At the time of Moses and the Exodus, the Egyptian firstborn where killed by an angel of death.

Oh yeah, god doesn’t do the dirty work himself, he sends angels to do the wetwork, I guess courage isn't one of his attributes, omnichickenshit is part of his nature.

Too bad he didn’t send those angels to do any of this when Hitler was marching his chosen people into ovens. Oh well, mysterious ways and all…….

So we can conclude that god does not deal with any of his affairs personally, apparently in direct conflict with his omnipresent capabilities.

He lacks the will or the power to do even the simplest of tasks. His lack is the antithesis of omnipotent, omnipresent or omniscient.

God can't even make a pizza!

When you read all the different things he did you kind of get the idea different writers at work. No consistencey.

[EvolutionKills]

(07-01-2015 11:23 AM)houseofcantor Wrote:  In contrast to the usual occlusion...



...I'm not seeing the mystery here.

I fail to see the utility of voluminous mammary glands on an angels if there are no angel babies that need suckling...

I mean, I'd have all kinds of fun with them, but what do angels do with breasts?

[onlinebiker]

It's really simple.

God doesn't exist. Neither do friggin angels.

Thus - "god" doesn't need angels.

Delusional people do.


End of sermon.

[wadehthomson]

(28-01-2015 06:33 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  It's really simple.

God doesn't exist. Neither do friggin angels.

Thus - "god" doesn't need angels.

Delusional people do.


End of sermon.

Not quite. We need God and Angels around for delusional people to believe in something. If they don't believe in a God or Ange or Devil they'll think up something; like Yetis, BigFeet, ghosts, Nessies, or...

[Sam]

(07-01-2015 09:33 AM)TheInquisition Wrote:  Angels, why does god need so much help?

A thread about guardian angels got me thinking, why does god need angels?

When you view angels in the context that every time they are used, it’s an admission that god can’t or won’t do something himself.
With that viewpoint, it’s quite interesting going through the bible and seeing what angels are tasked to do, going to Christiansnawers.net, they show several examples of what angels are sent to do.

Quote:• Worship and praise—This is the main activity portrayed in heaven (Isaiah 6:1-3; Revelation 4-5).

Why? I thought that’s what humans were for. Maybe he wanted automatons to worship him, but with a very famous angel that fell from heaven, they apparently aren’t automatons either and god once again screws up and creates beings that rebel against him.

Quote:Messengers—They serve as messengers to communicate God’s will to men. They helped reveal the law to Moses (Acts 7:52-53), and served as the carriers of much of the material in Daniel, and Revelation.

Why can’t god speak with a voice inside someone’s mind? Why are angels necessary? This makes absolutely no sense, is god just giving angels busy work so they don’t rebel again?

Quote:Guiding—Angels gave instructions to Joseph about the birth of Jesus (Matthew 1-2), to the women at the tomb, to Philip (Acts 8:26), and to Cornelius (Acts 10:1-8).

Again, WTF is this necessary when he could easily communicate directly to a mind?

Quote:• Providing—God has used angels to provide physical needs such as food for Hagar (Genesis 21:17-20), Elijah (1 Kings 19:6), and Christ after His temptation (Matthew 4:11).

Why couldn’t god simply “poof” food in front of people without using angels? Remember all of that creating stuff he did in Genesis? So he can’t even whip up a pizza now?

He wouldn’t even go to Jesus himself! He sent an angel instead! Seriously, WTF is god’s problem when he won’t even go to his own incarnated self? He sends a freakin’ servant to his own son!

Doesn't really support the idea that this god is personal does it?

Quote:Protecting—Keeping God’s people out of physical danger, as in the cases of Daniel and the lions, and his three friends in the fiery furnace (Daniel 3 and 6).

Why were they even in danger in the first place? Why not change the King’s mind so he doesn’t put him in the fiery furnace to begin with? Hello? Remember the Pharoah in Exodus?

Quote:• Delivering—Getting God’s people out of danger once they’re in it. Angels released the apostles from prison in Acts 5, and repeated the process for Peter in Acts 12.

Seriously? God can’t even unlock a door by himself? I guess he never leveled up his lock picking abilities to do this.

Quote:Strengthening and encouraging—Angels strengthened Jesus after His temptation (Matt 4:11), encouraged the apostles to keep preaching after releasing them from prison (Acts 5:19-20), and told Paul that everyone on his ship would survive the impending shipwreck (Acts 27:23-25).

Again, you won’t minister to your own son? What an ass!

Encouraging to keep preaching? God won’t do this directly? God can’t communicate directly?

Quote:Answering prayer—God often uses angels as His means of answering the prayers of His people (Daniel 9:20-24; 10:10-12; Acts 12:1-17).

So; according to bible myth, we should be praying to angels, because god never answers prayer, it’s his angels that actually do it. What if you ask for something that an angel doesn't have the power to do, but god wants it done? Guess your out of luck, sorry holocaust victims!

Quote:Caring for believers at the moment of death—In the story of Lazarus and the rich man, we read that angels carried the spirit of Lazarus to “Abraham’s bosom” when he died (Luke 16:22).

Wouldn’t it be nice if god himself actually did this, nope you get angel #7,345,666; Cherubim class, to take care of this duty.

How does this square with a personal god?

Quote:Executioners—Angels are sometimes used by God to punish sin. An angel of the Lord went forth and smote an Assyrian camp (2 Kings 19:20-34)—“behold, they were all dead corpses.” The Assyrian army was annihilated. A destroying angel was sent, but later withheld, to punish David for his vanity in taking a census of the great number of his people. At the time of Moses and the Exodus, the Egyptian firstborn where killed by an angel of death.

Oh yeah, god doesn’t do the dirty work himself, he sends angels to do the wetwork, I guess courage isn't one of his attributes, omnichickenshit is part of his nature.

Too bad he didn’t send those angels to do any of this when Hitler was marching his chosen people into ovens. Oh well, mysterious ways and all…….

So we can conclude that god does not deal with any of his affairs personally, apparently in direct conflict with his omnipresent capabilities.

He lacks the will or the power to do even the simplest of tasks. His lack is the antithesis of omnipotent, omnipresent or omniscient.

God can't even make a pizza!

To jerk him off?

[The Organic Chemist]

I couldn't resist.