Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
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30-04-2013, 12:32 AM
Sad Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
Hello my fellow nonbelievers:

I told me wife that I was an atheist a few weeks ago and today I told her that I am starting am affiliate group of the Secular Student Alliance. As you can guess she got extremely upset and said that she is going to leave me on my own so that I will "open my eyes to the truth." I was never really a true believer in God though I grew up with my grandparents whom one is Catholic and the other is Lutheran, the whole concept of God always made me uncomfortable and on Sundays when it came time to go to church I would always put up a struggle and say "why do we have to go somewhere else to pray to God? Why cant we just do it from the comfort from our home? Later when it came time for my Confirmation we were told by a nun not to ask any questions when the pastor asked "is there any questions?" Of course me being the rebellion that I was, I stood up and asked "If I took one of my grandpas torches would I be able to burn an angel or a spirit?" The pastor replied "No, spirits are not made up of burnable material like we are" I quickly replied "If a spirit cant be burnt then why should I fear hell?" I was told to sit down and shut up.

Anyways, I told her that I respect her right to believe what ever she wants to believe as she should respect my right to believe what ever I choose to believe. She wants to go to start going to church again on Sundays and she also wants to attend Bethel School of Ministry (which by the way costs 4000 to attend). Bethel is a Mega-church that draws people from all around the world and has a weekly attendance of around 3000 people. The thought of going to that church is just ludicrous as they believe that sprinkling gold dust on ones crotch will cure them of infertility and they also speak in tongues (as I witness my sister do while praying over someone). With that being said, I told her that I will respect her choice to do that as long as she respect my choice to have my weekly meetings with like minded individuals at the school group that I had created. Of course, her response was "I cannot support you going to those meetings and being fed a bunch of lies" (this coming from someone who believes that the earth is 6000 years old and that we coexisted with peacefully dinosaurs). My response was that I believed that what she is being taught and will be taught was a lie just as strongly as she believes atheism is a lie. She decided that she could not be with someone who does not believe in what she does and that believes in a bunch of lies.

This all would not hit me so hard if we did not have a son together. I am a full time student studying evolutionary biology and also a full time dad as my wife works most days of the week. Losing my son during some days of the week is going to hurt as I live in an area where I have no family within 2500 mils and no one that I can call a friend. All I have is my son whom I love unconditionally. I wish that it did not have to come to this but as I told her, "one cannot just choose to believe something. Belief comes from the process of understanding information and relying on evidence. I can lie and say that I believe in God but at the end of the day thats all it is, a lie. I would rather be proud of what I am over pretending to be something that I am really not just to fit in.

I guess I am writing this for words of encouragement from like minded people? I honestly am not sure. I just feel that this needed to be said and put out into the world.

Thank you to those of you who took the time to read this, and thank you in advance to those who take the time to respond to me in a time where I am reaching out.
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30-04-2013, 12:50 AM (This post was last modified: 30-04-2013 01:01 AM by Weeeeee_Zard.)
Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
I'm glad your relationship is coming to an end. Better now than later.

I'm sorry for the bad stuff all this brings but you have to remind yourself how important you are against an imaginary friend.

There is plenty of smart progressive atheist hot girls here in the Bay Area that are looking for serious relationships. When I say plenty I mean plenty. Wink

Hit the road bro. Be free of guilt.

Been a good parent is your responsibility, and as you took that decision your life is not longer dedicated to you. So, your decisions are for your son's well being first. But, be sure that whatever you do is wise, fear is not wise, social pressure and expectations are usually not wise either.


Also, you need to realize that this is a ridiculous excuse for something she already wanted to do. She think she has found a way to blame it on you. What an asshole she is.

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30-04-2013, 01:06 AM
Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
Oh, and in a funnier note please stop believing. Believing is bullshit.

You don't believe her beliefs are crap. You KNOW that.

Get that damn word out of ur lingo!
:)
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30-04-2013, 02:28 AM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
This may be a little harsh, but it sounds like you're better off without her.

What's the saying? there's plenty of fish in the sea
I'm sure there's someone out there for you who's not a complete bitch.

I don't talk gay, I don't walk gay, it's like people don't even know I'm gay unless I'm blowing them.
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30-04-2013, 02:33 AM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
Here for you man.
Not to the same degree, but when my sister found I was an atheist I wasn't allowed over until she found she needed my help.
I'd spent so much time with my nieces that they'd give me stuff on father's day.

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30-04-2013, 06:50 AM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
(30-04-2013 12:32 AM)ReasonandScience Wrote:  This all would not hit me so hard if we did not have a son together.

It doesn't sound much like you are actually in love in the first place. And if she is too rigid to even try to make it work, she isn't either. Looks to me like there is a fundamental issue other than religion anyway.

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30-04-2013, 07:50 AM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
What Dom said.

And I noticed you mention feelings for your son but not much about your wife. Custody issues can be worked out. But if all you two have in common at this point is the child, it's not healthy for any of you.

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30-04-2013, 07:58 AM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
I do have love for her, and we do have many things in common. Other than religion we get along just fine and I feel are happy. Only when religion is brought up (usually by her) she blows up and belittles me. Even if we did not have a son together I still love her but I feel that enough is enough considering that I feel the feelings are not mutual.
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30-04-2013, 08:00 AM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
I understand what you mean about the word believe. Its hard sometimes in some contexts not to use it. I, like you, do not care for that word that much and I just recently stopped saying that I "believe" what evolution offers and am now saying I ACCEPT what evolution offers.

Thank you for your words.
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30-04-2013, 08:04 AM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
I really don't mean to sound harsh, but your wife sounds like a bit of a moronic bitch.

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