Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
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03-05-2013, 07:53 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
(03-05-2013 05:44 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  
(30-04-2013 12:32 AM)ReasonandScience Wrote:  Anyways, I told her that I respect her right to believe what ever she wants to believe as she should respect my right to believe what ever I choose to believe.

See, here this is again. People "choosing to believe" stuff. How and where can I attain this ability?! Exclamation

I will totally give you a free "personality test".
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05-05-2013, 11:00 AM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
Wow, that's tough bro...
There is an entire community here for support.
Maybe some members are in your area, meet for a cup of coffee. You have more friends around you than you might think.
But didn't any of this come out when you were dating her?

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05-05-2013, 11:58 AM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
(05-05-2013 11:00 AM)Caveman Wrote:  But didn't any of this come out when you were dating her?

Not sure about R&S's exact situation, but I'd say that a lot of the time, it seems that theists in a relationship with an atheist think one of two things: (1) they can change the person and bring them back to religion, or (2) that it's just a phase, and they don't take the atheism seriously, often no matter how many times it's brought up.

I think some people really think atheists don't exist, and if a person insists on saying they're one, they're either doing it to be a jerk or they're in a "mad at god" phase. I've had this trouble with some relatives of mine, actually, they seem to think there are only two kinds of people: good Christians, and people mad at god. It's like they can't even grasp the idea of atheism in any serious way.

Again, not sure what his situation is, but this is something I've observed.
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05-05-2013, 01:28 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
I can't remember if I posted here...but whether I did or not...my full sympathy goes to you, man. Mourn, work through your loss, do what you have to in order to come out the other side in a better place...and hopefully, when you are ready, you will find someone who loves and accepts you for who you are, nonbelief and all, and who is willing to share her life with you regardless of your views on faith.
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05-05-2013, 02:37 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
(05-05-2013 11:00 AM)Caveman Wrote:  Wow, that's tough bro...
There is an entire community here for support.
Maybe some members are in your area, meet for a cup of coffee. You have more friends around you than you might think.
But didn't any of this come out when you were dating her?

I have not heard of anyone from up in this area. I started a club at my college but that has yet to get up and running.

No, it did not come up while we were dating. Religion was never a topic of discussion. I had my college education plan on my fridge and she seen that I am majoring in evolutionary biology and asked if I "believe" in evolution, I told her no but I ACCEPT evolution as a fact and then she asked since I "believe" that if i even believe in God.
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05-05-2013, 02:46 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
(05-05-2013 11:58 AM)amyb Wrote:  
(05-05-2013 11:00 AM)Caveman Wrote:  But didn't any of this come out when you were dating her?

Not sure about R&S's exact situation, but I'd say that a lot of the time, it seems that theists in a relationship with an atheist think one of two things: (1) they can change the person and bring them back to religion, or (2) that it's just a phase, and they don't take the atheism seriously, often no matter how many times it's brought up.

I think some people really think atheists don't exist, and if a person insists on saying they're one, they're either doing it to be a jerk or they're in a "mad at god" phase. I've had this trouble with some relatives of mine, actually, they seem to think there are only two kinds of people: good Christians, and people mad at god. It's like they can't even grasp the idea of atheism in any serious way.

Again, not sure what his situation is, but this is something I've observed.

Yeah, her parents told her not to leave me because it is just a phase that I am going through and that I am just searching and all my searching will always lead back to God.Which is complete bull shit. That guy that was on the TTA podcast a while ago names Sye believed that. He said that we all know that God exists, and that those of us who don't think he does are just in denial.
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05-05-2013, 02:59 PM
 
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
Even if your searching leads you back to God, it won't be the revelation of God they want you to have. I believe in God, and my guess is she wouldn't just divorce me but the whole lot would come after me with pitchforks and torches in hand.

There is one thing to be said for life paths--they usually involve suffering a great deal. Personally, I don't see how a Christian and an atheist can stay together and raise a son. I don't want you to get divorced, but how will you not come to hate her and she hate you?
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05-05-2013, 03:23 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
(05-05-2013 02:59 PM)Egor Wrote:  Even if your searching leads you back to God, it won't be the revelation of God they want you to have. I believe in God, and my guess is she wouldn't just divorce me but the whole lot would come after me with pitchforks and torches in hand.

There is one thing to be said for life paths--they usually involve suffering a great deal. Personally, I don't see how a Christian and an atheist can stay together and raise a son. I don't want you to get divorced, but how will you not come to hate her and she hate you?

I wont come to hate her because unlike believers in God, I don't hate someone because of a difference in belief, but because I do not believe in someones imaginary friend they hate me.. seems kinda ridiculous.

Also the more searching I do the further from God I get. I accept evidence and don't accept anything on blind faith.
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05-05-2013, 03:35 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
(05-05-2013 03:23 PM)ReasonandScience Wrote:  I wont come to hate her because unlike believers in God, I don't hate someone because of a difference in belief, but because I do not believe in someones imaginary friend they hate me.. seems kinda ridiculous.

Also the more searching I do the further from God I get. I accept evidence and don't accept anything on blind faith.

This brings me to another peeve of mine: when people insist you are "still searching" because you have not arrived at the same destination they have. Until you agree with them, you must be lost/searching.

Again, it seems to be an inability to understand atheism, so they take it as a personal attack or that YOU are the confused one. I've had people outright tell me that the only reason I say I'm an atheist is to emotionally hurt them, which is completely untrue, of course.

In any case, it is a sad state of affairs that people react in this way just because you were being honest about your lack of belief in gods. People in a relationship should be able to discuss things and be honest with each other without fear of something like that happening.
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06-05-2013, 08:11 AM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
Quote:I wont come to hate her because unlike believers in God, I don't hate someone because of a difference in belief, but because I do not believe in someones imaginary friend they hate me.. seems kinda ridiculous.

Hate is a heavy investment in a doomed venture. Glad you feel that way. Thumbsup

"The problem with faith is that it really is a conversation stopper. Faith is a declaration of immunity to the powers of conversation. It is a reason why you do not have to give reasons for what you believe." - Sam Harris
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