Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
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06-05-2013, 08:49 AM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
(05-05-2013 02:59 PM)Egor Wrote:  Even if your searching leads you back to God, it won't be the revelation of God they want you to have. I believe in God, and my guess is she wouldn't just divorce me but the whole lot would come after me with pitchforks and torches in hand.

There is one thing to be said for life paths--they usually involve suffering a great deal. Personally, I don't see how a Christian and an atheist can stay together and raise a son. I don't want you to get divorced, but how will you not come to hate her and she hate you?

What is it with you with all the suffering and hate you keep coming up with?

Must have been reading too much of the first testament! Nasty book, that!

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06-05-2013, 02:13 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
I don't see why an atheist and a christian couldn't stay together and raise as many children as they wish, if both are reasonable people. People have many different notions. Each parent can explain their sides on the issue and show no disrespect for their partner. They can restrain themselves from trying to force their children to be one way or another or browbeating them.

It's got it's own difficulties, but what doesn't?

"The problem with faith is that it really is a conversation stopper. Faith is a declaration of immunity to the powers of conversation. It is a reason why you do not have to give reasons for what you believe." - Sam Harris
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06-05-2013, 02:16 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
amyb Wrote:This brings me to another peeve of mine: when people insist you are "still searching" because you have not arrived at the same destination they have. Until you agree with them, you must be lost/searching.

People usually tell me that "something must have happened to make you this way" like I'm angry because God let my puppy die. This is why I never lead with arguments about unanswered prayers. People just think "Oh! I get it. He's mad because he doesn't know why his prayer wasn't answered."
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06-05-2013, 02:21 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
(06-05-2013 02:13 PM)SingingBear Wrote:  I don't see why an atheist and a christian couldn't stay together and raise as many children as they wish, if both are reasonable people. People have many different notions. Each parent can explain their sides on the issue and show no disrespect for their partner. They can restrain themselves from trying to force their children to be one way or another or browbeating them.

It's got it's own difficulties, but what doesn't?
True, but I think the issue is that wife refuses to be accepting of it.

(06-05-2013 02:16 PM)cbb2274 Wrote:  People usually tell me that "something must have happened to make you this way" like I'm angry because God let my puppy die. This is why I never lead with arguments about unanswered prayers. People just think "Oh! I get it. He's mad because he doesn't know why his prayer wasn't answered."
Yeah, I've gotten that a lot lately. People have thought various things like my health problems, my dad dying, my dog dying, and who knows what else caused me to "turn away from god." Um, no. I've been an atheist for my entire life. You can't get mad at a god you never believed in. they just grasp at straws to try to explain nonbelief to themselves, i guess.
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06-05-2013, 05:28 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
(06-05-2013 02:13 PM)SingingBear Wrote:  I don't see why an atheist and a christian couldn't stay together and raise as many children as they wish, if both are reasonable people. People have many different notions. Each parent can explain their sides on the issue and show no disrespect for their partner. They can restrain themselves from trying to force their children to be one way or another or browbeating them.

It's got it's own difficulties, but what doesn't?

I agree completely! Christopher Hitchens did it!
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06-05-2013, 05:33 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
^My parents did, too! And look how well I turned out! =P

But yeah, it still depends on both parties being willing to do so.
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06-05-2013, 07:02 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
(06-05-2013 05:33 PM)amyb Wrote:  ^My parents did, too! And look how well I turned out! =P

But yeah, it still depends on both parties being willing to do so.

It seems as if most of the time the none believer is more willing to try and make it work then believers are.
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06-05-2013, 08:03 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
Yeah,but I suppose part of it is that the believer usually thinks theirs is the only right way, and may actually think nonbelievers and those of other faiths are literally going to hell and perhaps will drag them down with them. I mean, I've heard similar rationales for why relatives of mine protest gay marriage: they think it's actually their business, they think their god will punish them if they are tolerant of gay people (and nonbelievers, and those of other faiths). It's sort of a "my way or the highway" mentality and it doesn't really allow for tolerance for some people. On the other hand, a nonbeliever realizes that people have different religions and often doesn't care unless their religion is hurting someone.
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09-05-2013, 09:45 AM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
You don't need someone to berate you or bully you because you are atheist. Your wife is doing that and you have to create some boundaries that she can't cross. Maybe if you say something like "Listen, you can believe whatever you want. I won't stop you from going to church or spending time with your friends from church. All I ask from you is the same respect for my position and point of view. Let's be reasonable and respectful and set a good example for our son on how to treat the people we love. I don't think that's asking too much, do you?"

At some point, she needs to realize that going off on you is counterproductive to her underlying goal of winning you back to the church. I know I wouldn't follow someone anywhere if they were going off on batshit crazy tirades about trying to save my soul or how the devil is going to drag me to hell, etc. We respond to reason, not emotional rants.

Good luck...

. . . all the gods were stories we told the children to make them behave. ~ Thoros of Myr (Game of Thrones, Episode 3:06)
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09-05-2013, 12:50 PM
RE: Wife is leaving me because of my nonbelief
(09-05-2013 09:45 AM)Scully Wrote:  the devil is going to drag me to hell

That's a good movie.

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